Bluepaintred: December 2006

Happy New Year

Sunday, December 31, 2006

**I really think that you ought to know that without my watch on, I do not know what year this is right now, hence, im not positive if we are going into 2007 or 2008. Sue me if you will.**

My new years resolution is to lose weight. It won't happen, but I feel better for making one. I have hopes that 200-whatever will not involve any more operations or sick kids. This also won't happen because I am really leaning towards asking the doctor to go ahead with the cutting and pasting of my girly parts again.

Actually I am really considering going to a doctor in the new year to see if I might be losing my mind, but that's a whole other blog post.

This past year :

I bought a house. And when I say "I", what I really mean to say is my sugar daddy bought a house an I am just along for the free sex and cute kids. Oh, and he pays the internet bill too.
I started a blog. Nine months or so ago. It's been an interesting experience.
Held a boy when he woke up after his second operation in two years.
Got new-er and improved-er boobies from the nice tax payers.
I did nothing else.

And there you have it, a year in the life of Bluepaintred. Pretty exciting, huh?

UPDATE

Friday, December 29, 2006

Date canceled, taking Stuperman to the ER. Update later

____________________

we decided to take him in because he ate nothing for two days and slept All day today. He woke to scream, not cry but scream, and would fall back asleep. Enough was enough

his chest is fine, but when they tried to see in his ear there was a loud Pop and blood tinged pus started streaming out his ear. Obviously infected. He is medicated for pain now, and taking antibiotics. Will take at least 48 hours for him to not be in this amount of pain.

the lady at the counter who checked him in offered him a sticker. He screamed like she tired to kill him, he screamed so loudly and painfully a set of doctors came running. I told her that stickers were against this moral beliefs.

life sucks for this wee boy right now.

The Best Gift Ever

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Yesterday we had Christmas number two with Kiss the kids got some awesome gifts, Blue boy has alredy made a balloon puppy with his new balloon animal kit, Rainbow man is over the moon with his new race track because it connects with the one he got last year, but now he has four cars for it, and Stuperman cried the whole time. Jitteryjoe and I got a gift card to the store where we bought our new floor, so that takes care of this months payment. YAY.

Tonight we had Christmas number three with the in-laws. That would have been a blast had Stuperman not still been crying. Fear not, he has a doctors appointment on the fifth.

We go the best gift ever tonight. 24 hours of no children. No screaming Stuperman, No Blue Boy taking apart his three day old Nintendo DS Lite "just to see" and no super hyper Rainbow Man climbing the walls. We have no idea what we are going to do but we are supposed to drop the kids off at four tomorrow night and they will be returned at four the follwing day.

Heaven.

I have legs to shave and lotion to apply, because for damn sure, with no kids in the house, I am going to get some porno style sex in the living room !!!

If I don't blog tommorrow nihgt, please, be happy for me :o)

I Follow Directions

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Mr.Fab, over at Pointless Directives has tagged me with this meme.

We all know I love memes.

I am supposed to reveal five things about me that none of you know.. So here goes...

1. I started doing Pay Per Posts to save up for a custom template. I have, since then, and directly from a PPP ad, changed my mind.

2. Now my main goal in life is to buy this. It gives me wood. I must have it. (HP Photosmart R967 Digital Camera)

3. I often threaten to punch my laptop in the face..uh..screen. So far I haven't. But it better start behaving. Or else.

4. I drink more coffee then people realize. 6 pots, with a 12 cup capacity is not an abnormal amount for me. I drink it black, or with sugar or with sugar and cream. As long as it is coffee, cold, hot or warm, I drink it. And yes, I do sleep fine at night, thanks for wondering. (Decaf is evil)

5. I am not a girly girl. I have yet to learn how to apply make-up, ither then lipgloss, I don't care about clothes or shoes. I don't freak out from mice and mud...I think I was meant to be born a boy. If I was to turn into a boy overnight, I would really miss my baby making parts.

I'm tagging people who I think are hiding really interesting things. If you have already done ths Meme, please diret me to it with a link in comments! ( I like random bits of blackmail material as much as the next girl)

One Tall Momma
Lori In Florida
Ole Blue
Tiny Voices in My Head
and
A Penny for Your Thoughts

Le Sigh

Christmas is over. That always makes me a bit sad and grouchy. I plan every year, all year, and then in a matter of hours it is done. I don't feel like blogging, I don't feel like doing much of anything. I have slept a lot today.

Christmas morning was great. This is what the children awoke too:

Stuperman woke up puking and was not interested in the presents. All he wanted was to sit with me. So thats what we did.

We waited for my Dad and Mmom to show up and finally they called. Mmom said that they were going to be late because my father was blowing in a breathalizer as we speak. Yay. I fell for it hook line and sinker, they showed up five minutes later.

I also got this:

Lori sent it to me and I opened it on the 23rd. She made it herself. Isn't it Awesom? Lori... You Rawk!!

All in all, Christmas was great, we got and gave great gifts all around, the turkey did not kill anyone, and people left my home happy. My Christmas Hosting Cherry has officially been popped. And it felt Goooood.

Who Doesn't Like A Cowboy?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Ever been to Las Vegas Nevada? The lights, The casinos, the chance at winning piles upon piles of money? Did you ever stop to think about the huge rodeo events that happen there? Like the PBR (Professional Bull riding) Championships?

Buckles big enough for a five course meal right there folks!!

Those guys and gals risking life and limb for our entertainment. Eight seconds has never felt sooo long. I have never had the chance to see the PBR finals in person in Las Vegas, But I would love too!

We played a board game last night, and one of the questions was ÂWhat TV show do you secretly love?Â and for me, itÂs the rodeos. I love those sweaty, dusty cowboys with their tight tight jeans and the hats they always seem to be bending over to pick up.

I love watching the rides, holding my breath and cheering when the buzzer sounds and swearing at the screen when the scoring doesnÂt go as I thought it should have. Seeing a rodeo in person would be a slice of heaven.

October twenty sixth through till November fourth, the cowboys will be saddling up, and you can get tickets to the Pro Bull Riders from TeamOne.

I would have made a great Buckle Bunny in another life!

This Pay Per Post was brought to you by my intense love of a tight pair of Jeans and Team One Tickets

"Santa" Sunday Six

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Rainbow Man and Blue Boy are super excited. We are on our way out the door to Baby Tubbys birthday party. Stuperman is having a bad morning (is anyone shocked by this?) If he happens to get into a better mood ( The season for miricles and what not) I will ask him the questions and update then.

1. How does Santa make it to every one's house in one night?
Rainbow Man:.He stops time with a magical clock. When ever the clock stop, the time stops. Santa has magical juice so it doesn't affect him.

Blue Boy:. He goes in his sleigh

Stuperman:. We can watch shelly fish Sponge Bob mommy!!!

2. What are the names of his reindeer?
Rainbow Man:. Rudolph Dasher Prancer, thats all I know.

Blue Boy:. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.

Stuperman:. I going to watch ghost monster. I ever be a ghost monster mommy?

3. What does Santa do if a home does not have a fireplace?
Rainbow Man:.He uses a portal and he walks thru it and then puts the presents and then walks back out.

Blue Boy:. He goes thru the door

Stuperman:. Ghost monster is on mommy!!!!

4. Does Santa make all the toys, or does he buy them as well?
Rainbow Man:.What he does is, his elves have a machine that makes the parts of toys that they need then when they are done, they give it to the other elves, bigger elves and then they load the sleigh up.

Blue Boy:. He makes the toys

Stuperman:. The candys mommy.

5. How old is Santa?
Rainbow Man:. Santa Claus is 96 years old.

Blue Boy:. Twenty.

Stuperman:. Danta Claus is seben.

6. What are you leaving out for Santa tonight?
Rainbow Man:. I will leave out cookies for Santa Claus.

Blue Boy:. I don't know

Stuperman:. Chocolate and toys mommy.

From the Bluepaintred Household to yours;
We wish you a Very Very Merry Christmas.

The Naughty Proof

Friday, December 22, 2006

Here we have a note to Rainbow man from Santa. Please note the X's and O's and the festive red and green writing.

And Blue Boy, again, a personal note from the jolly man, X's and O's added Plus a few HoHoHo's added to ensure BB knows he is on the good list.

And the final damning piece of evidence is Stupermans letter. Please Pay Attention. No festive red and green pen, but plain black. No personalized note. Its obvious that Stuperman has been a very naughty boy and will be receiving only coal in his stocking three days hence.

____________________________________

A few years ago, Kiss gave Rainbow Man a book with information sheets on a billion different animals. I took it out the other day and gave it to Blue Boy and Stuperman to play with. These two videos are for Kiss's enjoyment, although you can watch them too LOL. I uploaded three videos to you tube tonight as well as updated the Photo Blog.

Digital Age

Who here has a digital camera?

I don't know how I lived before I got my first one. It was a low megapixel camera, maybe a 3 or something. It took really blurry photos and had no LCD screen.

But I loved it. And It loved me. (And not in a kinky way either except for that first night after we got it, after all we had to try out all the little features, didn't we? But I defend my position, it was love, not lust)

After a while we realized that out wee little camera was not up to the task of recording the lives of our little family and we upgraded to a bigger camera. And I do mean big. It's amazing around home, but the camera bag for it is as big as a diaper bag for triplets. On a week long vacation. In the Sahara desert.

I have taken so many videos with the camera that the video mode is starting to go on us. Le Sigh. We are going to look into having it serviced after Christmas, and I hope it does not cost an arm and a leg!

In the back of my mind, I have been thinking about getting another camera. One that I can slip in my purse and sneak pictures of weirdos when I am around town. One I can take outside while playing with the kids and have it fit in my coat pocket so I can have my hand s free.

Im not willing to go lower on megapixels, but man I would love a smaller one. (see guys, size doesn't matter!)

HP has a sleek little 6 megapixel camera out on the market, AND a photo printer for it. You don't need to go thru the computer at all with it! Rock on!

One thing I love about digital photography is how clear a picture is. I love zooming in, just to see how clear I can get it. I have taken some awesome "zoom in" shots in the last year.

This post is sponsored by HP, and besides getting paid to write this post, HP is giving away six cameras to the post they love the most. The camera up for grabs is the exact kind I have been looking at, great specks and the perfect size. My fingers and toes are crossed, y'all cross yours too!

im a bad blogger

Thursday, December 21, 2006

do you recall that i promised a post tonight? well it aint happening now. my gel nails are awsome , but i am finding it hard to type. this will be proven to you byt the fact i will not correct any erros. like that one. aMy borther and his almiost wife are movieng eighteen hours away from me and taking their precious baby away from me. wahhhhhhh. so when they asked me to take her over night so they could go watch a late movie and so she could try her nails out onhis back, i said for sure! however, my cable thingy for the camera lives in teh basemnt with the desktop and my basement is full of choking hazards so i cant go sit down there and play with pictures tonight. im gonna go sit onthe floor with baby now. shes such a girly girl.

sorry y'all

Overheard

Ohhhhh! more Croc-kill-dile's!! (Stuperman)

Yes. They like to thwim in water and walk on land, but they normally live in sewers (Blue Boy)

______

Oooowww! Thats - thats hurt me in my feelings(stuperman)

*nap time is fast upon us and then I will be uploading the proof of Stupermans naughty list-ness.*

I'm tired, do we really need to title this post?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

At home
*
Me: Are you on the naughty list?
Stuperman: No I ona stool.
*
At coffee
*
But you just can't masturbate with long nails! ~ during a conversation about gel nails.
*
I'm a girl! ~ after being told 'Have a nice night guys'
*

I was thinking this morning about the weight I have gained in the last seven years. Its not pretty. And then I thought that since the boys were still in bed, I should do some sit ups. So I checked my email.

Santa will be here in three days. I have already peeked at some of the gifts under the tree. It's gonna be a good Christmas LOL

At some point tomorrow I will be posting proof that Stuperman is on Santa's Naughty list, and the other two are on his Nice list. Its freaky.

Im tired. ZZZzz

A Very Long Post

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Did anyone wonder why I gave the phonetic alphabet according to Stuperman? It's because Mr.Fab tagged me with a MeMe and I wanted to annoy the crap out every one of you by answering it in StupeSpeak. But I can't. Some think more importnat has come up. Something you ALL need to know about.

Tonight I wasted TWO HOURS of my life. Two hours I will never get back. Hours wasted that I could have spent in bed with jitteryjoe, Two hours I could have spent reading and commenting on your blogs, Two hours I could have been drinking coffee. Instead, I went to the movies.

IF YOU HAVE READ THE BOOK ERAGON DO NOT SEE THE MOVIE.

For the love of everything that has ever been and ever will be, do NOT see this movie. Oh I know what you are thinking, I will see that damn movie if I want too. I read a billion reveiws telling me not to go see it, that it sucked, that it was nothing like the book. And I went anyway.

*shame*

Let me put it this way. If you read the book, and you go to the movie, expecting ANYTHING to be like the book, you will not find it... The dragon is wrong the bad guys are wrong the good guys are wrong the time frame is wrong the weapons are wrong the words are wrong the season is wrong the..the the..... EVERYTHING but the title of the movie is WRONG.

I'm pretty sure they gave the book to a 12 year old boy and had him write the screen play, only for every half a chapter he read he jacked off the next ten. I honestly cannot think of three things that were the same in the book and the movie. The two I can think of are the title is the same and the main character (15 in the book, 17 in the movie BTW) has the proper name.

It was horrible.

-----------------------------------------
Please stay tuned for a horribly long Meme!

A- Available or single? That depends on weather your name is Matt Damon or not…

B- Best Friend? Kiss. Duh, where were you on the 12th when I was shouting it from the rooftops??

C- Cake or pie? Cake

D- Drink of choice? COFFEE

E- Essential item I use every day. My lungs

F- Favorite color: Blue, but for Matt Damon I would be willing to reconsider.Or for fresh coffee. And a donut.

G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms? as much as I love candy, im not a big fan of gummy anything!

H- Hometown? I think only people in the states have hometowns, I have lived in....lots of places. Plus I have the "dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" song stuck in my head and I only know that line!

I- Indulgence: Wednesday Coffee and Pot of Gold cherries

J- January or February? July

K- Kids and names: I'm not willing to fork over the cash to pay their therapy bills I will incur if I run around calling them names.

L- Life is incomplete without? Coffee

M- Marriage date: Coffee

N- Number of siblings: Four

O- Oranges or apples? Bananas. Don't judge me!

P- Phobias or fears?If I tell you, one day I will find my self locked in a small windowless doorless room filled with spiders so I won't tel..FUCK!

Q- Favorite quote? I don't walk around quoting people, I walk around drinking coffee. And you can quote me on that

R- Reasons to smile: Coffee in the morning. And baloney. In the morning with Matt Damon

S- Season: I hate them all equally.

T- Tag 3 or 4 people. SpongeBob, CoffeeMom and Big Daddy. This way they will be forced to update thier blogs!

U- Unknown fact about me: I have a penis

V- Vegetable you don’t like: Tuna

W- Worst habit: Mr.Fab

X- X-Rays: right wrist, right wrist, right wrist, left wrist, left wrist, left and right wrist, chest, teeth, ankle

Y- Your favorite food? Coffee

Z- Pisces. Dude. What the fuck. Was I supposed to make up my own questions? Holy shit I broke the meme.

ABC 123

reciting numbers and letters with Stuperman

1- hun
2-chew
3- fee
4-tor
5- fibe
6-hix
7- eben
8- NO!
9-nine nine nine nine
10- den

A- Hay!!
B- E!
C- Tee!
D- Tee!
E - Eee! I want a gwint (drink)
F- ep
H- oych
I- Mmmm. I got a Punkin ducker
J- Shay
K-Day
L- ewl
M- mmmm
N- hen
O- Oh hehoheho
P- No potty!
Q- prue
R - arrre
S- et
T- tee
U- me
V- be
W- dabayou
X- ek!
Y- Cus
Z- dee

Ahh, he talks so clearly LOL. I loved U and Y. hehe

The House is Hot Now

Monday, December 18, 2006

What did I do today?

And What did the Children do while I did that?

(BlueBoy is singing "If you want to be strong, You need to exercise")

My feet are really really sore. I am trying to do a slide show thingy in the photo blog. Please be patient I may give up and go for a bath first. I took pictures as each dozen came out .. For a while, and Blue Boy Kept saying over and over again, "Its a whole army of Cookies." Did I mention my feet are sore? ( By the way that's 10 dozen Melt in Your Mouth Shortbread, 3.5 dozen Mocha Chocolate Chip, and 7 dozen Ginger Sparkles...It would have been eight dozen but a bunch of you updated your blogs and that dozen got burnt )

Santa Was Napping; I'm Still on the Nice List

Sunday, December 17, 2006

During our wonderfully non-stressful trip to the shopping center where my sweet well-behaved angels did not knock over display cases and whine incessantly I WANT THAT, I used the restrooms. *eww*

Sitting there, minding my own business I read

Tammy Loves Jimmy

*scribblescratchcrossout*

He doesn't love you , BITCH! Jimmy + Laura = Love

*franticslashingcrossingout*

Sara N Jimmy 4evr

So I took out my permanent marker. The one I carry just in case something like this happens, and wrote:

Jimmy is Gay.

Wouldn't you have done it too?

ACK!!! SEVEN MORE SLEEPS TILL SANTA COMES!!!! ACK!! PRESENTS!!!!! ACK!1!

*swoons*

*ded*

Beds Are For Losers

Saturday, December 16, 2006

It has been a while since I have resorted to pictures for a post, but I am exhausted. I went to bed last night round midnight and slept till noon, plus I had a three hour nap in the afternoon. With Stuperman. It only took him 45 minutes to stop crying. YAY. I think I am tired from stress. Does stress make people tired and bitchy?

Oh and little help here. Is it normal for a SEVEN year old boy to have B.O.? Twice this week, Rainbow Man has hugged me and I have had tears in my eyes from the smell. He has regular showers, and uses soap when he is in there. I know this because half of the time I have to send him back in to rise off the rest of the soap.

We could not do our regular Saturday Grocery shopping, we got ten centimeters of snow. And rain just before the snow so we could have skated on the highways. We hope to go tomorrow, should I get him his own "under-oderant" (he calls it that, not me!)

Oh well, on to a picture post LOL
_______________________________________________

For the past, year, pretty much ever since Stuperman was taken from a toddler bed to a Big Boy bed, we have gone into wake him to find him sleeping in his closet, or under the bed or in his toybox. On average, only 1 out of every 15 times, he is still in his bed.

We tried filling his closet with things, because he used to take his pillow and blanket in and shut the closet door to sleep.

I think its cute, but his room gets pretty cold at night, and he hates jammies, he is always taking them off in the middle of the night.

And his bed is perfectly good too. We have even tried spiderman sheets and things like that to keep him in it.

So what do you think. Should I just be happy he is sleeping at night and ignore where he chooses to do the sleeping, or should we be fighting to get him to sleep IN his bed?

Thank God It's Friday

Friday, December 15, 2006

This past week has been horrible. For those of you who were fast enough to see my last post, you know exaclty what I am talking about. Stuperman has been a trial and a half. This afternoon I sent him to my mother in laws because I had to keep my hands in my pockets every time I came near him. I was so mad.

At first his behavior was kind of funny because he is never like that, but as the days wore on, and he got worse and worse, I got madder and madder at him. He cries if I look at him, if I touch him, if I talk to him, if I offer him the potty, lunch, juice, even candy. He hates me, I think. If the boys talk to him he collapses in agony on the ground and screams. For Nana tonight he was a perfect angel, until I got there, then he started with the screaming again. I did not want to take him home. I just don't know what he wants.

***

Tonight me and Rainbow man went to his school for Family Fun Night, it was basically a craft class. But it was a lot more fun then I thought it would be. We made Christmas Cards, tags, angels, sang Christmas carols and Watched a movie. We saw a huge bonfire and made bracelets that have jingle bells. We did not go Skating because I had no helmet for him, and under grade three, the rule is helmets are a must. Oh well.

***

When I got to my MIL's tonight I asked her what she thought of my new hair shade.

"Its ok, I guess, I don't like purple. I don't know why you people do that to your hair? Blue? Why blue? That's not even natural looking"

I took it as a compliment LOL. The first time I dyed my hair blue, Rainbow man was eight months old. I have done red , purple, pink, fire, ( fire RAWKED) green, orange.. I think the only one I have left to try is HOT pink.

***

Rainbow Man updated his blog. It was so funny, he was saying things like "Ohhh I gotta put this on my blog!" He cracks me up.

thanks for the recipe Fantasta Girl, I really appreciate it. But what's a butter cream frosting? Im gonna go search allrecipies.com for it LOL.

I am going to spend the rest of the night in the bath with a book and then in bed with my book, I'm just done in.

***

I Like Cookies

I want to make some flat cookies I can cut out with cookie cutters and have the children decorate. Anyone have a recipie? Shopping is tommorrow, so i'd like to have a list of ingridiants by then :o)

I want to make cookies that looklike the ones Tink and Pan made..... so maybe I should just as Fantasta Girl for the recipie, but this is much more fun!

Tink and Pan Cookies, Photo stolen in the middle of the night from Fantasta Girl
I am E-VILLlllll

I Suck. Wanna know why? *EDIT*

Thursday, December 14, 2006

*deleted by me, I could not stand it being up there, plus, you know, hate mail is no fun*
_____________________________________
whatever. delete that.

Here are the pics of my hair.

I need to get an after taken in the light so you can actualy see the color. Like my warm fleece house coat?

Rainbow Man Presents

Color # 67 : Light Auburn

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I had a post written it was quite long and quite funny and I was looking forward to hitting puplish and getting into a hot bubble bath with a good book. Then the computer crashed and I hit the laptop and it hurt my hand so I cried, and had some coffee and swore a bit and now I am back.

Quick summary of the post that never was:

I am dying my hair tomorrow. Who wants before and after pictures?

Big surprise (brought to you by Rainbow Man) expected to be in place for tomorrow night.

You stupid Weffriddle retards. If you can get thru 90% of Weffs riddles before having to ask me for help, I assume you are smart enough to leave your freaking E-mail address so I can respond. I hate you all. Ok I don't... Just the six who e-mailed today with Annon@noreply.com. You suck. Very plainly : If you want Weffriddle Level Hints, tips and spoilers, I need a way to contact you.

OK then. Bath time. You would have liked the other post much more.

An Inbox Post

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with three kids who don't fight and two pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the neoghbours' dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the floor.

Freindship is like Peeing Your Pants

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

.... Everyone can see it, only you can feel it!

You know how it is when you are with friends or family, and you want to tell them just how important they are to you, but it never comes out just the right way? You end up laughing or breaking eye contact, and it all gets brushed aside as a meaningless bit of conversation to pass the time.

You rehearse the words you want to say over and over, in the shower, in the car, across the table from them at coffee, but you can't quite work up the courage to lay your heart bare, and then the moment is gone. Maybe forever... Well that isn't going to happen to me, not today.

Kiss_My_Glass, you are my best friend, you are more then that; I love you.

I met Kiss in the fall of '97, we were both in University, and she was working full time hours on top of that. We were great friends, but not best friends for a year. And then, we sort of drifted away. In 99, at almost eight months pregnant, Jitteryjoe and I were married. My clearest memory of my wedding day is walking down the isle of the church, trying so hard not to cry - my make up had taken HOURS - I was looking for anything to distract me, and I found it in a smear of make-up on Jit's suit jacket. I busied myself trying to figure out who was here that was short enough to leave the mark. But came up with no names.

Imagine my surprise when Kiss came up to us afterwards. Jit knew she was there the whole time, he had seen her, and hugged her before the wedding (hence the make up on the tux). She had heard from a friend that we were getting married and decided to crash the wedding.

This was the best idea she has EVER had.

Kiss is the one I talk to when I am sad or angry. She is the first person I think of when I have happy news to tell. I have been known to tell her about a positive pregnancy test before my own husband. Kiss and I joke that we are sisters, but we are much more then just sisters. She is a part of me.

We have never successfully fought with each other, though we have tried. She has saved me from myself more times then I can count. Above all, she is always, Always there for me. No matter what the situation, I can count on her. I hold her in my heart in the same way I hold on to my boys. I love her.

If I was into carpet cleaning, Kiss would be my soulmate. ~~Weather she wanted to be or not.~~

Kiss : I don't have the words to properly explain to you, exactly how much you mean to me. Hallmark has never made a card that covered this emotion, this deeply.

Happy Birthday Kiss, Be Happy.

A Dish Served Cold

Monday, December 11, 2006

A Letter to My Husband:

I know that you worked hard all day long, doing .... whatever it is you do that has you coming home filthy and covered in burns. I have heard tell that a man's home is his castle, but honey dearest, with the day I have had today, the last thing you should have done is had a nap. Seeing you so sweetly sleeping on the couch,

When I have spent the entire day with cranky Snot Factories who leak from all sorts of unpleasent ends....

My mind is filled with red and angry thoughts. Really, you got off lucky, considering...

********************************************

Here we have Exhibit A : Stuperman makes his feelings on germs known even in his sleep, This was perhaps the best part of my day. A nicely drugged child.

Exhibt B: This photo only proves the extent of my fed-up-ed-ness With my day. Too tired to fetch him a proper blanket, he is covered in a towel.
********************************************

The children are in bed, my love, the little one has had his medicine. I'm going to soak in the tub, and if I fall asleep, well, I am sure you will wake me when you look down at your feet.

XOXO your Loving Wife.

Baby Snowmen

The same night that we traveled to the ~~North Pole~~ City to see Santa We were stopped by a red light. Since we have had so much snow in the past month, the graders had been through several times leaving tall piles of snow at the sides of the roads. Rainbow man was looking out his window and got all excited about the Giant Snowballs outside his window.

Now, Of course we knew that they were just chunk's of snow the grader had left, but why ruin his fun like that? So we patiently explained to Rainbow Man that they were not infact Giant snowballs, but Baby Snowmen.

You see, while we get some pretty cold weather here, it is no where near as cold as I assume the North Pole gets, and babies are delicate be they human or Snow babies. Every fall when it starts to get colder and colder and the snow starts to fall, we sit around and think it is falling just to annoy us, but in truth, those little snowflakes you see dancing round your head are really making babies.

The baby snowmen have to stay here, where it is warmer, until they get big enough to withstand the cold and then they migrate to the North Pole to become a part of Santa's Army.

Rainbow Man And Blue Boy were out a good part of today making a snow babies into snow men. Jitteryjoe and I spent the rest of the day giggling as they continually checked out the window to see if their snowman had migrated yet.

I have already gone out and dismantled their snowman to propagate the lies we told them.

***
I don't want anyone to go away mad because I have posed a PPP post under this one. I think that For every PPP post I do I will put a 'real' one on top of it.
***

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pranks

Sunday Six

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Let's talk about Advent! All three boys played this week, and Kelly.. It's good to have you back!

1. What is Advent?

Rainbow Man: Uhm... .... um this isn't a question. (I tell him it is too) I dont know

Blue Boy: I dont know. A kitty?

Stuperman: Adabent breaks. (Breaks his cookie in half) Like dis. I break.

2. What do you do for Advent?

Rainbow Man: I dunno, I do not know

Blue Boy: Celebrate.

Stuperman: Adabent. Do my adabent. Hair-wee Twit-twas!

3. How many days do we celebrate Advent?

Rainbow Man: I think ten.

Blue Boy: Forever

Stuperman: Uhm elephent fraid. Out!

4. What happens when Advent is over?

Rainbow Man: Whatever we want

Blue Boy: Everybody that isnt your family goes to their home, I need a drink with this mommy

Stuperman: adabent over. Mooooooo. (drinks his egg nog) Mommy! I said moo mommy.

5. What else do we count down to?

Rainbow Man: the next year

Blue Boy: one hundered and thousand eighteen four

Stuperman: (BlueBoy Coughs) are you ok?? I ok. You sick??

6. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?

Rainbow Man: My Christmas concert, Christmas.

Blue Boy: to milk.

Stuperman: I eat a goldfish mommy.

I want my Star

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Call me slow, but I just now noticed that people have left actual comments on the Photo Blog. That's so funny. I went so long with no comments there that when I saw it the other day I was like OMG. Hehe

Rainbow man is in seventh heaven right now, He just bought three Game Boy games online. Made him use his own money too.

I'm mean like that.

Christmas is only two weeks away, give or take a day.

I.CAN'T.WAIT.

R.I.P John, We Miss You

Friday, December 08, 2006

Tonight we decided to take the boys into the city to sit on Santa's lap and tell them what they want. Bonus, I get a picture. Extra Bonus, the whole thing is free. Being the type of parents we are [bad] when Rainbow Man asked us where we had to go to see Santa, we told him "The North Pole."

"But that will take forever! We won't have enough gas to get there"

"I just filled up yesterday"

The whole trip into the city we strung the story of the North Pole. It would take many days to get there. We will have to make lots of yellow snow. We forgot to feed the cat... We had answers for Everything!

"But our car doesn't have enough horse powers to get through the snow." (Blue Boy)

"When the snow gets too deep, we are going to be using a dog sled honey."

Finally we get to the mall where Santa is waiting. Rainbow man comes to the conclusion we are going here for photos, not the North Pole after all. But being us [bad] we weren't yet ready to admit defeat on the the North Pole story.

"No no, we are just here for supplies, we need rope, pick axes and shovels."

"Why rope?"

"We have to climb the mountains to get to Santas house. Its very high up, it will take a long time to climb, in fact, you will probably miss your Christmas concert"

"But we won't have enough food!"

"We are going to buy some at the store here, and besides, if we run out, we can just eat Stuperman."

"You can't eat family! Its illegal!"

(Jitteryjoe and I had no idea we were breaking laws when we played 'who can get the worst rug burn!')

At this point, Jitteryjoe and I went from being just plain old run of the mill bad parents into horrible, nasty warp-your-kids-minds parents.

"Do you remember last time we went to the North Pole?" I asked Jitteryjoe, fully aware the children were listening. I have to hand it to Jitteryjoe, he caught on quick. Plus I can blame him because he started it!

"Oh yea, Wasn't John with us?"

"John??" asked Rainbow man.. "Who is he?"

And at this point we might have told Rainbow Man that John was his older brother who we might have taken to the North Pole, just like we are taking them. And we might have eaten John when we ran out of food.

In two days, when the photo's are ready to be picked up, please excuse the tearstained faces they sport. They miss John too.

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pranks

But It Tastes Soooo Good

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Jitteryjoe and I went into the city tonight to grab the games for the boys. Kirby and Pokemon. I find it kind of sad that we really, really meant to walk past the isle with all the Christmas chocolate in their pretty shiny boxes with the bows and the ribbons and the sweet, sweet smells and ended up spending over 35 bucks just on Chocolate.

But on the up-side, I was trying to eat a chocolate while reading in the bath, and I laid the chocolate on my chest to turn pages and I forgot about it. When I finally remembered my chocolate it was all melty and yummy. Did I just gross several people out? Cus I totally licked it off my boob. It's a waste to do it any other way.

I'm planning on bringing a box to bed tonight ;o)

Speaking of bed, Jitteryjoe is convinced that a solar eclipse happens every month somewhere in the world, and I say it sure as hell does not! I am so convinced it doesn't, that if he is right ..well.. I promised something involving whipped cream. But that's none of your business. So, how often do solar eclipses actually happen?

Stuperman started to cry last night, just as I was hitting publish on the band-aid post, so I went in and sat on his bed. I hugged him and asked him what was wrong. He had his fingers poking into his eyes , and I took them down and he looked at me still crying, and told me he "had bad TV in my Eyes". Bar none, that is the cutest way I have ever heard a nightmare described. It was his first, that we know of, and he came and slept with me and Jitteryjoe. I woke up with his foot my eye. Stupermans, not Jit's.

Anyone know what to buy a 65 year old man for Christmas? We have to get JitteryJoe's dad a gift. We have no clue. I asked Jit's mom the other day if she had any ideas. She suggested that "wouldn't if be fun," if she came with me and BFF Kiss one Wednesday before Christmas and had coffee with us and we could all go shopping together and find Dad a gift.

Oh Hell No. No no no nononono NOOO! Never, not in a milion years! If my MIL came with us, we wouldn't spill liquid soap on the counters and bitch about men and smoke and laugh and swear and be US. So internet, you are all that is standing between me and a night of pure unadulterated hell. Save me. Please.[/begging]

weffriddles help, email me for hints nigh!no!nigh!no neptune spoilers hints weffriddels level tips blueplanet zip level 14 level 44 sound file weffriddles help email me

Got any Band-aids?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The other day I was over at IT2M, the snarky review blog. You gotta love the Bitches over at IT2M. Reason? You get to call them Bitches and THEY DON'T CARE, and the other great thing is watching them go from nice to asshole in .3 of a second. Its damn impressive. I was told by two different commenters on their site that I should get rid of My Precious Precious Snowflakes.

But I don't want to.

However, If they are causing difficulty when you try to read this, I will, sigh, take them down. Keep in mind they are only here till Boxing Day so you can all pull up your big girl panties and be a man. Hmmmm, that last sentence makes no sense. Oh well, I'm on a time constraint here. Bedtime is in 30 minutes and bedtime is fun.

In the shower today I cut my underarm with a bar of soap. That was interesting. FYI, deodorant in a cut does not sting. I also cut myself with the tape and the wrapping paper today. And on Sunday I cut myself no less then three times with the grater. In under five minutes.

I also burnt my finger on a pop tart and dropped a singing Santa on my foot. But that was Monday.

We should buy stock in band-aids.
___________

Hey, I was wondering, with all the new strict anti bully rules and the fear of kids coming to school armed, and what not, what would happen if a song, that I remember quite fondly from my childhood, was sung in the halls of the schools today :

(sung to the tune of joy to the world)
Joy to the world
the school burnt down
and all the teachers died
but what about the principal?
yes what about the principal
we hung him by the toes
and kicked him in the nose
....And I can't remember the rest.

____________

A conversation between Blue boy and myself while I was getting ready for coffee:

Why do you got to put cream on your boobies?

Because it makes me smell pretty (it was NOT my boobies, it was my neck and chest!)

Oh, you smell pretty. You smell, you smell... Almost good enough for me to eat you. But I wont for real eat you mommy.

Somehow, I think I will sleep better tonight knowing my child has no cannibalistic tendencies. And you should all know that Stuperman has been wearing a mini skirt for two days now. Should I take pictures? Stop him? Ignore it?

_____________

Things to Remember:

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Today was a very ~~long long long long~~ long day. Today was one of those days I wish I drank.

The two year olds were acting like a bunch of two year olds again. They seem to do that a lot.

Why don't stores sell ground orange peel? Fuckers. I think they're doing it just to piss me off. It's working.

I'm tired, I'm bitchy, I have the cramps but not the blood. I'm going to bed. Your assignment for the day is to memorize this list.

Two year olds and cute little candy canes on a Christmas Tree don't mix.
Twister is not an appropriate game for toddlers.
Take the flyers you lazily shoved in the oven when they were in your way, back OUT of the oven before pre-heating it.
Put the batteries back in the smoke detector.
Cats don't like being shoved in an empty cat food bag.
Remember the difference between rubbing alcohol and peroxide.
Buy ear plugs

And just to soften this up a wee bit, I'm not always a cranky bitch after all, here is a photo from Cute Overload, I promise you will NEVER look at egg nog the same again. May I present, for your veiwing pleasure

Pug Nog!
~~Have a cuppa, you know you wanna!~~

And Yahoo Begot....

Monday, December 04, 2006

Have you ever wondered how people pick their screen names? I know I have.

Some are easy. Like One Tall Momma ... She's a mom and six feet tall! But what about all of the others? OTM is the only name I can readily see the reasoning behind it.

And My Screen name? What on earth is a Bluepaintred? A food? A TV Show? A sex toy? Seriously.. Was I on Crack when I picked it? Come on, I know you've wondered. Well the truth is...I never inhaled.

About four years ago I was introduced to Yahoo Chat by my BFF Kiss. They were Hella amusing. The fights we would start, the caps lock screaming, the swears, the death threats...ahh good times. The first ID I tried was Weirdangle69. But it was taken. So I tired roughly thirty thousand other ID's that were all more outlandish then the last. All taken.

At my wits end, I looked around the computer desk, searching for inspiration. At this time, Rainbow Man was most enthralled with Spiderman. He had a white dresser and I was in the middle of painting it like so :

What do you suppose I saw sitting on my computer table? Bluepaintred was born.

_________

New Photos up in the Photo Blog

How Do I

....Disable this mother fucking bite me in the ass mouse?

Feeble Excuse For A Post

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Since no one wants to read about the chocolate paintbrushes and the 8 billion cookies I made this afternoon, Nor the yummy tacos we had for supper or the uber relaxing bath I had, I present these three pictures, courtesy of My Aunt L. Enjoy.

A Fabulous Sunday Eight

Todays Sunday Six are brought to you by the guy who thinks its normal to jack a banana off, The one, the only MR FABULOUS.

Stuperman, is laying prone in the hallway screaming bloody murder because I wont let him gnaw my leg off to the bone. He won't be participating today. Im in a hurry LOL. However. I will ask him the questions one or two at a time and post his answers throughout the week. BlueBoy (4.9) and Rainbow man (7.3) both played along.

1.What is misletoe for?

Rainbow Man: Uhm. Kissing?

Blue Boy: To kill us (EDIT: JitteryJoe just explained to me that misletoe berries are really poisonous?? Which makes Blue Boys' answer not so funny...SIGH)

2.Does this look infected?

Rainbow Man: What do you mean? What does that mean? Mom, what am I looking at to know what is infected. And no it doesnt. I said no cus I dont see anything so no.

Blue Boy: Nope.

3.Who is stronger, daddy or superman?

Rainbow Man: Superman Is stronger.

Blue Boy: Superman could lift up the car, the whole thing

4.Are you drunk?

Rainbow Man: No. N-O. no.

Blue Boy: Nope.

5.If I gave you some money, what would you buy?

Rainbow Man: hmm, uhm.. a hot tub, also I might buy 200 game boy games.

Blue Boy: A toy dinasour with a snowman

6.Who is the boss, me or daddy?

Rainbow Man: Both of them.
Blue Boy: You

7.Do you think we should get a pet monkey?

Rainbow Man: NO. Becasue it would swing around the house and destory our christmas tree and be destructive and go haywire.

Blue Boy: No cus it would break everything like last time.

8.What is the meaning of life?

Rainbow Man: Hmm. Uhm. I think it's to have fun.

Blue Boy: of being good.

I Need YOU

Saturday, December 02, 2006

...To help come up with six Sunday Six questions! Kelly has not updated in a while. She is super busy with a big case and I hope it is the case and not her daughter Janelle sick again! However, I LOVE Sunday Six! Don't you guys? In the commentsection I demand questions. Good Questions. Ones that will make the kids answer in ways that are worthy of that Kids Say The Darndest Things show. I will pick the best six questions. You can ask more then one. All extra questions will be kept for future use. And so on and So forth.

Hands up! Who likes the snowflakes on the front page? Does it make it hard to read? I was playing with BlogMad, and they were on this guys blog. I wish He had left me his Blog URL so I could credit him. Anyway I left a comment asking him where he got them and he replied by the time I woke up. Nice Guy. We will call him Earl. He told me to go here.

Mouse muscle is a lighter pink then human muscle. I did not take photos. Feel free to thank me. In chocolate.

It's almost midnight and I feellike making cookies.

I need to buy three Large candy canes and Two Nintendo DS games and then I am Done Done Done Christmas shopping.

I had a nap.

(are you board yet?)

Lets Ignore the Big Pink Elephant Today, Shall We?

Friday, December 01, 2006

Since a post full of anger and honesty will not be well received, and I am not prepared to face the fallout from it, today will be a post about ... well nothing. A mix of this's and that's and the other stuff. Maybe when I have calmed down, and can think through my anger, when I am able to look at both sides evenly, I will post about the elephant.

I doubt I will get to that point.

This:
Last night we went shopping. Got an awesome gift for my Brother. It was a Yes! Perfect! gift. I am sure he will love it. Got My Mother-in-Law a pretty candle lamp thingy, it was the most perfect thing evarrrr .. Untill we walked three stores down and saw the Yes! Perfect! gift.

But Jitteryjoe was pleased with the candle lamp and over-ruled me returning the lamp for the Yes!Perfect! gift. Sigh. We also managed to complete My StepMothers present. Have I mentioned I hate the step part? It ruins a sentance. And we got Tubster the bestest Birthday gift too. I think I might go back and get Stuperman and Myself one. Can't tell you what we got her, Tubbys' momma reads the blog and I want it to be a surprise. :o) All in all I was super happy with the amount of shopping we got done in under two hours and in one stop.

When it was time to go, I complained to JitteryJoe that:

"my feet are killing me ... next time I will wear more comfortable shoes"

"Boy it doesnt take long for you to drop when you shop...."

So I punched him. *smirk*

That:
Check this out : Christmas Cactus. UsedToBeMe over at Why are You Stalking Me, sent me this link. I thought it was so funny, the idea of a daytime or a nighttime Christmas picture taken in front of a cactus. I have a six or seven foot tall pile of snow that runs the lenght of my driveway!

The Other Stuff:
The other day I was showing Blue Boy an Ultrasound picture of himself.

Me :"hey whats that"
BuleBoy : "A tornado??"

Close enough...

_________________________

The elephant in the room is an English idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored, for various reasons. It is based on the fact that an elephant in a small room would be impossible to ignore. Wikipidia link.

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