We have multiple email addresses. One I use for signing up with things. I get three hundred spam emails in there a week. Its Yahoo.

One is for my blogging, my gmail account. Me and hubs use that for any email we actually want to receive.

One is for family and Hubs to use. It has a built in spam protector that SUCKS ASS. It takes any email it wants, holds it hostage for a week to ten days and then sends us an email telling us which emails it has stolen and put in quarantien.

This morning I got the Hey we stole your mail wanna see it? email.

Lets see. Spam. delete, delete delete, oh! Youtube comments! Deliver. delete. delete Oh! Another YouTube comment, deliver. delete .delete.. this went on for a while. There were emails from friends and family in quarantine, there were comments from bloggers in quarantein and of course, those two YouTube comments.

Labels: I'm a big baby, I'm Important Too

More importantly though, Santa Ducky has been unearthed from the cardboard cage he was imprisoned in, lonely and scared, for the past eleven months and is back in his rightful place.

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pictures

I ran out of tape, so I had to stop wrapping. But the good news is we are almost done. Now all we have to do is put up the Christmas Tree. So, uhhmm, any idea how we get a Christmas tree and a puppy to live in harmony?

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pictures

Labels: I'm Important Too, LOL, Pictures

Hubs has a thirty inch waist (feel free to hate him for it, I do) and a six foot inseam. For as long as I have known him, I have never seen him in a pair of pants that fits him properly. He would be able to get pants to fit his waist, but then he would be walking around in manpries, so he gets pants to fit his height and uses a belt to take in the extra foot of material in the waist.

Sigh.

I know that there are places that we can buy jeans that will fit him in both the waist and the leg, but you have to pay like seventy bucks for a pair. The way we shop for clothing is if it over twenty bucks, it's too much. Except for shoes, and coats. And socks, I guess, becuase I once spent 21 dollars on a pair of socks, but man were they awesome!

For the last few months I have been trying to convince hubs that we should spend the cash and get him a pair that fits, and he can wear them just for special occasions, weddings and family gatherings and the like. Yes he wears jeans to weddings, nice, ill fitting black ones with a dress shirt and a sports coat. He looks good so STFU.

Hubs hates shopping. A lot.

Annnyway:

So I think it is time to go and get those jeans. I think you should get a pair tight enough to make a genital devision sign.

Uh. No thank you, I like my sperm count exactly where it is!

What? At Zero?

So ... I guess we will go see Santa this weekend instead...

Labels: Husband, I'm Important Too

After we finished our nightly meal, and by we, I mean me, hubs and the eldest ate our food, and the dog ate the two younger children's meal, Hubs took a shower.

I told him to hurry up as I wanted one too.

Normally, If I need a shower in the evening I hop in with him, but Rainbow Man had homework and without an adult sitting right.beside him he finds it impossible to tune out the other boys and do his work.

So hubs finished his shower and I went in to have mine. Shirt off I realized I had forgotten my razor in the other bathroom and was trying to convince him it was faster for him to get dressed and go get it than it would be for me to put my shirt back on.

Then the phone rang.

You see, his parents got their first internet capable laptop this afternoon, and were trying to access their email account. First up : trying to explain how to click the mouse. Then I tried to explain where to find the word in-box on his email program so he could put his new clicking skills to use.

All of this is happening at the same time the hubs is wagging his tail in my face. I tried to wave him away. No luck. The tail just kept wiggling, begging for attention mere inches from my face. I gave him a disgusted look AND managed not to laugh as he said in his most innocent voice "What? It's clean. I just washed it!"

The fact that I did not laugh - while still on the phone with his parents who are now arguing about the viagra email in the spam folder- tells me I am due for yet another gold star.

Labels: Husband, I'm Important Too

I'm still in the midst of My Christmas shopping - I have no idea at ALL what to get my dad. I think that in the past ten years he has gotten some sort of sweater each Christmas. I really do not want to go that route again this year!

I have read blog posts here and there where different people have talked about the wonders of Overstock dot com, but I hadn't clicked on their links until recently. They have so many cool things there and the prices are great!

But the neatest part? Overstock.com is having an All I want for Christmas Giveaway where over the course of five days, five people will win 1000.00 to spend any way they want on overstock.com. At the end of the contest one super lucky person will win 5000.00!

If I won* the 1000.00 contest, I would get my dad one of those nifty GPS navigation thingys so he could find his way to my house to visit more often.

But if I won the five thousand dollar part? For Sheila? She would totally get a Laptop! We'd never have to stop the chatting then!

You can enter once a day, so get your rear in gear and enter!

*Pee ess: This contest is ONLY open to US residents (bummer for me) So if you win, buy me something nice! (HINT: I'd like a LCD TV, LOL)

Labels: Holidays, I'm Important Too, information

A long, long, long time ago, when I was in grade four, I had gone on a school day trip somewhere. I cannot remember where, but on that trip I had gotten my little brother a very tiny glow in the dark dinosaur. And then I promptly forgot I had bought it.

Just before bedtime, in a panic I remembered about the dinosaur and it seemed like the most important thing in the world that he have it before going to bed. It was downstairs in my room and I was upstairs, so I ran fast fast splat to the bottom of the stairs.

The floor was concrete and the steps were wooden. There was a telepost at the bottom of the stairs - a metal support pole thingy. I hit my head on the telepost *insert so thats what happened joke here* and hurt both of my wrists at some point on the way down the stairs. I suspect it was the splat part.

Sigh. I just spent an hour looking for the picture taken of me after the fall and cannot find it. You will have to use your imagination.

So what does me falling down a set of stairs ages and ages ago have to do with my "ow" last night? Well it's simple. I cannot follow directions. At all. If you tell me to do something, it's like a mental block forms and all I hear is static.

I was told to do a billion and one different strengthening exercises for my wrists. But they were hard to do so I simply did not do them. And not doing them had consequences. I have zero strength in my wrists, I cannot lift a small pot full of water without using two hands. And even then, by the time I get from the sink to the stove - about a foot and a half away, or two steps, my arms are shaking from the effort.

And then there is the joint pain.

Last night I was doing the dishes and Rainbow Man asked me what was wrong with my arm. I had it cradled against my chest and was doing things one handed, and yet I hadn't even realized it was hurting. This wold have been the opportune time for me to have taken some pain meds and wrapped my wrist, but instead I finished the dishes.

You see, when it starts, it's just a dull achy feeling.

After the dishes, I played bubble shooter with my opposite hand until the children went to bed and then we watched a movie - Live free; Die Hard - excellent, by the way.

About five minutes into the movie, my elbow started to hurt. I really should have wrapped my arm and taken the pills at this point, but I figured if I just rubbed it, the Ow would go away.

It always starts at the wrist joint, and then the bone in my forearm will start to ache. When I actually use my brain, I have taken pills and wrapped it before my elbow starts to ache, but last night it went right to the shoulder before my brain kicked into gear. Half way through the movie I took the pills, but it was too late.

When it gets this bad, I do not have the strength to wiggle my fingers of rotate my wrist. Last night I wasn't even able to hold my arm against my chest without supporting it with the other.

And so. No post. My bad.

Labels: I'm Important Too, Oh Noes

For the first time since 1989, the Saskatchewan Rough Riders have won the Grey Cup. I should watch next year. I seem to be good luck.

Labels: Games, I'm Important Too

Ahhh Friday nights. They have great potential for mischief making, but the fact we get up at 4:30 AM on Friday mornings makes it really hard for us to want to do anything but glue our butts to the couch in the evening.

Of course the kids still seem to think they are entitled to entertainment no matter how few hours of sleep their parental units have had.

Little bastards. They refuse to sleep in on weekends too.

I decided that a movie would be the best way to keep them sitting and quiet so me and hubs could doze on the couch and took them to the Movie Gallery to pick a movie. I wanted to rent a Christmassy one, but Blue Boy took one look at the south wall and shouted "MOM! IT'S RAT-A-TOOTIE!! THERE'S STILL SOME LEFT! WE HAVE TO GET IT!"

So we did.

I didn’t want to like Ratatoulle. I mean come on? A movie about rats in a restaurant? How disgusting can you get?? The only thing I know about rats is that they live in my freezer and wait for their turn in the microwave.

WTF were the writers thinking when they thought up rats in a kitchen anyway? How to give parents nightmares? Maybe it started out as a mouser training video for cats.Or maybe the writers were high. I bet that's it. The writers were on drugs.

'N drugs are bad, mmmk?

As it turns out, like all movies written whilst under the influence of mind alternating drugs, Ratatoulle was freaking hilarious.

Wonder if it would be funnier if a person watched it while high. Someone look into that and get back to me, mmmk?

Labels: I'm Important Too, In my opinion

Bluepaintred: I cant get smokey to fit in the box

succulence29: lmfao

Bluepaintred: she is too big to sit in it

succulence29: why are you trying to stick her in a box

Bluepaintred: uh
Bluepaintred: just cause
Bluepaintred: and thats all you need to know

succulence29: lol
succulence29: geek

Bluepaintred: still
Bluepaintred: its twenty after eleven and I have no blog post
Bluepaintred: gimmeh teh funneh!

succulence29: ummmmmmmmmmmm I haven't a clue lol

Bluepaintred: LE SIGH


You know its a sad state of affairs when you can't even count on family.

Labels: I'm Important Too, LOL

Tonight I noticed that the grill on the front of my brothers big black "I'm not compensating for ANYTHING" truck was missing. This entertained me for a good part of the day. I feel that his truck is incomplete and that I should offer him some sort of solution for his vehicular deficit.

I suggested that since we have plenty of wildlife in our area he could replace the missing grill with one that has shish kabob skewers attached. I felt that this was a very practical solution.

You see, he works quite long hours and with the new and improved grill, he would be able to smuck a deer (Smashing at speeds higher than 60 will ensure your animal is properly tenderized) and skewer it.

By the time he got home the engine heat would have cooked the venison to a nice medium rare.

It's hard to decide what to cook after working all day long, trust me, I know becuase I don;t work and I am afflicted with teh indecision every day 'round four PM. With the new I Think I Should Patent This grill, you can provide a fresh, organic meal to your family, made as you commute.

I presented my (well thought out) plan to my brother, but he shot me down faster than a fat guy can empty a buffet.


I think the public at large would benefit. What say you interwebs. Would you buy a new I Think I Should Patent This grill?

Labels: I'm Important Too

A Bunch of people were doing this last week. I may be slow, but at least I play the game. Not like some people!

About a year ago, I started a puzzling game called Weffriddles. A YEAR ago. I still get a billion searches for weff each week.

pqo weff
weffriddle spoiler
weffriddle hints
weffridle spoilers
weffriddles answers 49
32 weffriddle cheat
weffriddles lvl 58
weffriddles help
weffriddles level 45 spoiler
weffriddles level 44
weffriddle answers
weffriddles fake level 47
weffriddle solutions
nigh no nigh no nein

And what would Search results be without Pee?

best friends are like peeing your pants
friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can s
me peeing my pants video
true friends are like peeing your pants
friends peeing pants joke
dripper ‚o‚o‚o
friends are like peeing

And in no particular order :

balls spanked - I'm not sure if you mean the soccer or the basket ball, but they are in the back yard. I don't think they are going to care if you spank them.
leaky boob pictures - Well. Interesting. I sure hope you are referring to milk.
i saw his tiny penis - Did you laugh? I would have.
eet my boobs - If you had typed eet my peenis, I would have complied.
the first time i saw a penis - What? Don't leave me in suspense! What happened the first time you saw a penis?!
how to lengthen your penis quickly - Try pulling on it. If that doesn't work, rub it briskly with habanero peppers. This only works if the peppers are fresh.
boob washer - I use soapy hands, but now that I know this is on the market I'm.. wait. . .Is that your tongue?
spanking me ess - Fisrt You want your boobs eeted, now this. You're such a glutton for punishment!
i saw his penis - Who's? Not mine. I have a vagina.
porno lady - You must be referring to someone else. I am a sweet, innocent, lovable girl.
itchy boob - try scratching it. Sometimes it's the simple things that work the best
if you do it again i'm going to give you a spanking - I've been such a naughty girl, haven't I?
pic peni blood - Wait. Wha?
funny penis scene ouch - Although I do not have a penis of my own and am in no way g8considered an expert on penii, if it hurts, it probably is NOT funny.
looks like blue balls - And blue is so not your color. Try Pink.
im a horrible person - Yes. Yes you are. Find a bridge. Jump.
shelli oye - *giggle* I think you are looking for this site
murder october 24 2007 - Should I know something? Am I an accomplice now?
i was drinking cough* - Co -feee. The EE is really important you know.
avitable - Uhm yea. That dude with two girls and a cup, snake fucking? You want right here.
you poked? i prod. - I LOVE the proper use of punctuation
bunny poop - And once more, if you are looking for someone who knows bunnies, you want to go here.
oh hia - Right back atcha!
cursing baby while sleeping - Bad! Bad Parent! You should be drinking while the baby is sleeping. Or working on that meth lab in the back. Is a mess!
it's tough being a kid - No. It;s tough being the one who has to wipe your stinky ass!
tractor channel - Wait, Am I on punked: the Jeff Foxworthy edition?

Labels: I'm a Dumbass, I'm Important Too, LOL

Part One: I'm a Dumbass

I went to see the optometrist today and I almost came home with a sixty four year old man. He was the cutest thing ever. I just wanted to squeeze his fat old man cheeks and invite him for Christmas Dinner.

I didn't, But only because it is not my year to host .

So I'm sitting in the super uncomfortable special optometrist chair and the chick tells me to take off my glasses, cover my left eye and read the board.

I told her I see nothing.

So she points at the board again and says Just read that.

I said "All I can see is a glowing white square"

This time she turns on the lights in the room, walks up to the board thingy, touches it and says "Right here, I want you to look right here and tell me what you see"

"NOTHING. I cannot see a damn thing! There is nothing there FOR me to see, you haven't put it up." And I am feeling all smug right then. Pointing out her mistakes like that. Yea! Take that you beeeee-atch! Woooo! I ROCK!

Until she asked me to put my glasses back on and I saw that there was a letter on the board. In fact it was. Sigh. The large "E".

Turns out I can be declared legally blind - without my glasses. I am fine with them. Or sort of fine. They gave me a new prescription.

Part two : Show and tell.

I got mail! From Sheila! Look!

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pictures

Wow. I'm actually going to do more than click the "upload a photo if you are willing to wait six hours" button!

A lot has happened since I caught teh lazy. I'm not entirely cured, hence the bullets!

• I have been taking maximum opps per day on PayPerPost.
• I made Seventy nine bucks today :o) (!245 this week !)
  
• This is good as my only real source of income went on strike today.
• Well.
• She didn't. Her mom's work did.
• Excellent timing what with Christmas in a few weeks
• Fuck.
• I was going to get a big ass Tattoo In the beginning of December, but now I can't
• Unless
• Would the boys accept that my tattoo is our gift to them?
• Yea, Thats what the husband said too.
• I break for KitKats
• No really, I stopped typing long enough to eat a mini KitKat.
• And a Coffee Crisp
• They are excellent, especially dipped in coffee!
• They say the strike might only last a week.
  
• if it does, I will only lose a hundred bucks.
• So I hope it does only last a week.
• Unless I win the Lottery.
• That would be good.

Meh. I'm tired of The WTF Bullets. Are you or does the sudden full line text confuse you? I'd hate for that to happen. One minute you are fine the next you will be circling the blog with that annoying slack jawed look on your face, trying to convince my stat counter it is in the mood for anal.

Really. It isn't. Please stop, you're getting lube everywhere!

Pee ess: I lied about not hitting the "upload a photo if you are willing to wait six hours" button! There are lots of pictures there. Bowling, RM's Birthday, Some of them were taken by a three year old, some by a five year old and some by me. See if you can figure out who took what.
In a bit. Cus. It takes like six hours for blogger to understand a picture is something to be viewed and not screwed.

Labels: I'm Important Too, WTF bullets

Eight years ago tonight, ( 1:05Am October 29th) I lazily pushed out the first of my three sons. I say lazily because it was three half-hearted pushes. Don't hate me for my "birthin' hips"

I was able to get away with not changing a diaper until he was five days old because I am very good at being busy when work needs to be done. Just ask my dad.

In any case, When I opened his smelly little diaper, wipes at the ready, I saw his penis for the first time and broke out into laughter. It was tiny. Smaller than tiny. I'm serious, it was like a little nub, barely there.

That night, our first night home with the baby, I asked my husband if boy babies always have such teeny tiny penis'...peni...dicks. My husband, engrossed in the tiny fingers of his little heir, distractedly explained that when a boy reaches a certain age, their dad takes them to the Penis Garden to pick out a new and improved, larger sized penis.

I laughed. That got his attention. His face paled and his hands trembled and he begged me never to tell anyone that I knew about the existence of the Penis Garden. Apparently, the Penis Garden is very well kept secret among the testosterone sect.

I promised never to tell (oops) but every summer since then, I have meticulously searched every garden I happen across, on the off chance that I will finally find the fabled Penis Garden.

Saturday Morning I finally found it. I was a bit surprised to see that it was made of ice considering penis'..peni...cocks have such violent reactions to cold.




Pee Ess: It is also Not A Granny's Birthday today. Go wish her a good one

Afterthought- Having slept on the issue at hand I have decided that they must flash freeze the phallus to ensure maximum freshness.

Labels: I'm Important Too, information, Pictures, Rainbow Man

This has been a very hectic weekend and it is not over yet. I have fifty or so cupcakes to decorate still. Some one obviously did not get the STOP WITH THE GROWING message and celebrated his eight birthday this weekend.

Want pictures? (<--- click teh linkage) The rest are on the brats camera and I don't know how to download them - yet.

I'll link 'em when they are up, but for now I have to do the dishes so I have room to work on the cupcakes!

Labels: I'm Important Too, Pictures

So I got the results of my blood tests back today. Sorta. There was not much they were willing to tell me over the phone.

They do know it is not my thyroid. And that the problem is with my heart. Or more to the point, how my heart pumps blood.

Not going to say much more on this topic, at least not until I know more about it.

Monday I have to schedule a few tests and we will plan from there.

Labels: DocToc, I'm Important Too, Oh Noes

I tucked my boys into bed with kisses and cuddles completely unaware of a ghastly murder that had taken place just moments before. I was to remain unaware of the crime through out the tucking in, the picking up of that days dirty clothes and the picking out of outfits for the next day.

Still unaware of the carnage that awaited me, I walked wearily up the stairs, fists pressed into my lower back, images of a good book and a HOT bath drowsily running through my mind.

However, my relaxing bath was not to be. I opened the door to the bathroom, crossed to the tub, arm reaching for the hot water tap, only to see blue. Blue on the side of the tub, blue in the tub. Blue on the top of the toilet. Blue on my good towels. The ones the children are not to use.

The remains of a deadly explosion were spread on ever surface you can imagine. The floor, the sink, the wall, my hair brush. Even the dog, who had followed me into the bathroom and was now rolling in ecstasy, grinding sticky blue -now with fresh strips! toothpaste into her fur.

Joy.

Labels: Horror, I'm Important Too, lolkids, Puppy

I was sitting there, minding my own business (which translates loosely to "losing at solitaire") when he walked in. He specifically asked "How are you doing today?"


"Actually, I feel horrible, I think I'm falling apart, but, hey, thanks for asking" Then I turned off my iPod and took off my shirt.

He took me by the hand and laid me down on the bed and started to fondle my chest with his stethoscope, and then sat me up and started to bang me with his big, hard hammer, after that, he asked me to open wide and filled my mouth with wood.

Then we just sat and talked for a bit. It was nice.

Not many guys just want to talk anymore.






Pee ess: He sent me for some blood work. He hopes it is my thyroid. If it isn't, I have to see a neurologist. The lab tech said to call in two days.

Pee pee ess: My doctor is hot.

Labels: DocToc, I'm Important Too