R.I.P John, We Miss You

Friday, December 08, 2006

Tonight we decided to take the boys into the city to sit on Santa's lap and tell them what they want. Bonus, I get a picture. Extra Bonus, the whole thing is free. Being the type of parents we are [bad] when Rainbow Man asked us where we had to go to see Santa, we told him "The North Pole."

"But that will take forever! We won't have enough gas to get there"

"I just filled up yesterday"

The whole trip into the city we strung the story of the North Pole. It would take many days to get there. We will have to make lots of yellow snow. We forgot to feed the cat... We had answers for Everything!

"But our car doesn't have enough horse powers to get through the snow." (Blue Boy)

"When the snow gets too deep, we are going to be using a dog sled honey."

Finally we get to the mall where Santa is waiting. Rainbow man comes to the conclusion we are going here for photos, not the North Pole after all. But being us [bad] we weren't yet ready to admit defeat on the the North Pole story.

"No no, we are just here for supplies, we need rope, pick axes and shovels."

"Why rope?"

"We have to climb the mountains to get to Santas house. Its very high up, it will take a long time to climb, in fact, you will probably miss your Christmas concert"

"But we won't have enough food!"

"We are going to buy some at the store here, and besides, if we run out, we can just eat Stuperman."

"You can't eat family! Its illegal!"

(Jitteryjoe and I had no idea we were breaking laws when we played 'who can get the worst rug burn!')

At this point, Jitteryjoe and I went from being just plain old run of the mill bad parents into horrible, nasty warp-your-kids-minds parents.

"Do you remember last time we went to the North Pole?" I asked Jitteryjoe, fully aware the children were listening. I have to hand it to Jitteryjoe, he caught on quick. Plus I can blame him because he started it!

"Oh yea, Wasn't John with us?"

"John??" asked Rainbow man.. "Who is he?"

And at this point we might have told Rainbow Man that John was his older brother who we might have taken to the North Pole, just like we are taking them. And we might have eaten John when we ran out of food.

In two days, when the photo's are ready to be picked up, please excuse the tearstained faces they sport. They miss John too.

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18 Comments:

Blogger Jerri Ann said...

So..where's the pic?

9:14 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Am I terrible, because I think this is funny?

Can't wait to see pictures.

10:08 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Jerri Ann And I quote "In two days, when the photo's are ready to be picked up, please excuse the tearstained faces they sport. They miss John too."

10:09 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Fantasta Girl hey! your comment wasnt there a minute ago! You could never be terrible, you are a super hero

10:09 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Tug said...

Sick. Just sick & wrong. And yet I laughed. 1 - because I can. 2 - because you remind me of myself when my daughter was growing up. 3 - because she turned out great, and is now doing it to her kids.

Great post!

10:16 PM, December 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG thats hilarious...oh wait im nto laughing i miss john too...um k im lost...so when tubby starts asking querstions as to if santa is real or not can i send her to you guys you seemed to handle it quit well...you guys are not bad parents...i think me and daddy spongebobber would have handled it along the same lines...

i have pics with santa to and she is crying in them does that mean she misses john too?

10:51 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug You knoe, when we were kids, as my dad would drive into underground parking, my mom used to use a radio voice and say that a parking lot collapsed on such and such date, ant it would be that days date, and that the only family killed was the *** family, us. Ive tried it on my kids, but i think they have to be older to really appriciate it. LOL

Sponge Bob You would have liked John, he was a nice and tender kid LMAO

11:14 PM, December 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is hilarious!

I wouldn't been able to keep a straight face during the whole thing! I'm impressed with your skills.

Let's all have a moment of silence for John, shall we?

11:30 PM, December 08, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's awesome, your kids are going need counselling. We like messing with the kids too, it's just to much fun. SBW is sooooo gullable.

1:13 AM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

His rreaction was exactly what u said it would be-me-I was howling-I couldn't begin to keep a straight face for that long.
Tho I never met him, John will always hold a special place in my heart-the ultimate sacrifiice!

MM

6:10 AM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:44 AM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You would have liked John, he was a nice and tender kid

Can I have the recipe?

6:50 AM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:53 AM, December 09, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Mrs. Fab and I were roaring with laughter!

8:47 AM, December 09, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila Thanks for coming over, i checked out your blog. i sure hope you got your coke and cigs the other day. for me it would be coffee and cigs...

Big Daddy see, thats my point, if the kids weren;t so gullible, we wouldnt be able to get away with it, its all their fault

MM yea, see, dont let me hear you say I dont know my dad. But FYI john made the BEST sandwiches ever.

Blogarita i deleted the other two comment syou made. they were repeats. as for the recipie, its a secret family recipie.

Mr. Fab The Mrs. reads my blog with you? Im honored. thats way cool

2:13 PM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fing hilarious. hope john was tasty.

7:09 PM, December 09, 2006  
Blogger Shelli said...

You made me laugh. We told our oldest child a similar story about meat when she was little. Maybe that is why she is fucked up. LOL

7:59 PM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very funny sis You so remind me of another that could pull tall tales from ther butt

Merry Christmas

Aunty

10:03 PM, December 09, 2006  

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