Conversations in bed

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Back Story. I went out last night, Hubster and I have a long standing joke where who ever is staying home is watching porn the whole time the other one is out.

Me: did you enjoy your porn?
Him: No, I didnt get to go to the peeler bar - had the kids.
Me: There is a cucumber in the fridge, you coulda peeled that.
Him: Nah, Naked vegitables just don't do it for me.

Pictures, Ducks, Bums and Laundry

Friday, September 29, 2006

Oh wow, Its been an interesting day. And by interesting I mean stressful. Lets start with the new laundry soap I am trying. Tide vanilla lavender. Do not buy this CRAP. You know that smell when clothes have been left too long in the washer? The icky smell. THATS what the new Tide makes the clothes smell like. I spent hours sniffing ALL the clothes in the house to figure out which ones needed to be re-washed. Wheeeee. Laundry. Fun.

After laundry, the day was awesome, Rainbow man got 14/15 on his spelling test, plus seven bonus words right. (out of seven), the toddlers were cute and I was looking forward to Baby Tubby coming for the night. Then I found this under the living room couch :

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Blue boy has been hiding his food there. I have no idea for how long, because this is only a portion of what I cleaned out. The first time he "hid" food was cute. He told me his plate was in the sink and he was done, and I think he honestly did not think I would see it on the floor under the table. I punished him for lying and told him when he is full, he should just tell me! Inside I was amused because I remember countless "bathroom" trips where I snuck off and spit mouthfull after mouthful of food in the toilet. I can remember stuffing wads of meat and pea's in the crease of my chair. Hell sometimes I go to the MIL's and I am still tempted to do that. But this has to stop. We are going to get bugs or start stinking or something. Grooooosssssssss

On to a lighter note. Baby tubby did come to stay the night, and this was taken during bathtime. Ignore the baby bum. Bums this chubby only belong on a baby, and only then are they cute.

Now here are the bathroom painting pics I promised. As for painting with cats, Shadow decided to play in paint. It wasnt very messy, one paw and a nose. He was pretty ticked off about the bath. I have no pictures of this, I figured I should bathe him before he ate it, and I stand by my decision.


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That orange tub in the tub? Thats what Stuperman filled with Pee water and swam in.
Boy that was fun.

Here is Picture Proof that Baby Tubby's Abduckted Ducky is back in her arms.

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And just for the Hell of it, here is Stuperman Blue Boy and H playing with Play-doh

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Im going to go upstairs and watch a scary movie with the hubster now. I like scary movies because they are a great excuse to cuddle and *stuff*. Im pretty tired, so this isn't the best written post I will ever do, but its here and you obviously read it, so Lets Deal With It, shall we?

Y'all have a great weekend.


Im a horrible person and this is why (Now With Bonus FOAD post)

Thursday, September 28, 2006

1. I slept throught BFF Kiss's visit to my house. She drove all the way out and I slept thru it

2. I also slept thru Stuperman finding a cup, the toilet and a toy box. Slept thru him swimming in his new "pool" too. No the toilets had not been flushed prior to him finding them. Thank you for asking. Yes he did get a bath immedialty. No I havent scrubbed out the toy box yet, its still sitting in the bath tub waiting for me. I will do it tonight. Then I will take photos of the bathroom.

3. In my effort to overtake Lorrain on Mr. Fabs list of who loves him most I monopolised his comment section and wasted valuable space Michele could have been using. Don't understand this? Go check out Fabs blog.

4. Arent those three things enough?

My fabulous sister, whom I have been estranged from for about three months... long story... seems to have given my phone number out as a contact number. I understand givig it to hospital people. I understand why her one friend calls it when she is in town (mine is always the same and Sis has a different one everytime you turn around), but TELEMARKETERS? Who the hell gives out a nimber to be reached at later to a telemarketer? I checked my phone . Eight calls for my sister in the last three days. Eight. And every single one is a telemarketer. I have had Visa, The blood Bank, some community survey place, all sorts of weird freaks wanting to talk to my sister.

So I called her up. I thought she had no phone. I guess I got that idea from the fact that when my two year old son was peeing blood and I was freaking out she didn't bother to call and say OHMIGOD whats wrong with my nephew, but I could be wrong, anyways I called her and asked her if she could give me a list of the people she gave the number too, so I could call them and tell them not to call me. But she hung up on me. One minute I was talking then next minute Click.

Hey cool its actually Thursday and I have a semi sorta FOAD post... YESsss

Ok, I am not heading up to scrub the toy box and tub, do the dishes and have a nice hot bath. Then I will head to Fabs place to make sure Lorrain hasn't commented again...

Also, new studies find tarantulas make silk with their feet. Interesting fact everyone should know.

I Complain AND I Am Rude

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

So I have No right to say this. None at all. But its my blog and as rude and improper as the following is, I will do it anyway. Oh and YES I know I am being COMPLETELY irrational.

ok then
My brother and his bride to be and their adorable baby May be moving to the same town as my father. May. Might. Not for certain. Just talking about it. But the point is. The Same Town As My Dad. So dad will see the Tubster more then my boys. And I'm jealous. Good, now that that's out in the open. Here is why this is a complete bullshit irrational post. Yea. I live three houses from my In-laws who see my kids every day. So uh, basically im complaining about what my dad is already going through. Im a bitch. Now I think that if Bro and Sponge bob want to move to DL, that's perfect for them. Bro works two weeks away and one week home, and Sponge bob will really really benefit from having adults to talk to, a small town where she can walk everywhere she needs to go, and tubster will benefit from having grandpa close too. Just don't tell me too many stories about how cute she was doing this or that at your hose, mkay dad? I might be irrational with this, but its how I feel. Oh, Bro? Sponge Bob? I am NOT going to be mad if you decide to move. Im not going to get all bitchy to you, I am NOT going to suddenly lose the Tubster craving I get for your daughter. If moving to DL is what you think is right for you DO IT. ( personally, with a wedding coming up and 395 verses 700 rent? if it was me, Id do it too)

Who thinks my family will have me committed now?

Who noticed today was wednesday? ME ME ME ME. Wednesday means cofffeeeeee, and once more, for some reason, RoxDar is operating under the misinformation that her family is more important then me. ME!
Some people are just like that. Its annoying. wonder if she will realise this is a joke before or after reading this line? Wonder if she is laughing right now?


I had a great freaking time, of course, tonight, Im sitting on top of the world, OH! and do I ever need to take some pictures to show you what My MIL did to my bathroom. Honest I will take them tommorrow and post them. Its awesome. Who even remembered I wnted to re do my bathroom? Beuller? Beuller?

oh shut up.

mkaythanxigotnuthin Buhbye!

I Tend to Complain a Lot

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

1. Blue Boy - Even at four you should know that if the roll is empty, either get up and get a new one, you helped me put them away, or call me, I will happily get it. I know you are out there on you're little bike happily smooshing poo into your underwear. The toilet was full, but no paper in sight! Sigh

2. MIL - When I wake up at 5 am for no apparent reason, and end up cleaning the house.. spotlessly ~ Including washing floors and cupboards and taking an old tooth brush to the window sills. Don't Fucking complain that when I swept the freaking garage, which is OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, I left a pile of dirt by the garage door. If you feel you Must complain, first complement me on a very clean kitchen floor, or the fact that the light fixtures were washed, then complain. It takes the sting out. Oh and don't suggest that it must be "her time" to you're husband when I respond with a snappy comeback. Also. My sex life with your son is none of your business, hickeys do not give people cancer, you do NOT need to have a "talk" with him about it. Do I ask about your sex life? Didn't think so.

3. Rainbow Man - Spelling IS important. I am not being mean when I realise you left your spelling words at school on purpose and pick 20 , not 15, but 20 random words for you to spell. Yes I realise the teacher only gives you 15. You should have brought your work home. Oh, and as for how I know you did it on purpose? I can hear you talking in your room from my room quite clearly. This is perhaps soemhting you should remember when you get a girlfriend.

4. Kiss(BFF) - You need to seriously consider working two days and taking five days off, instead of five on, two off as you do now. Each week, Wednesday seems further and further away. This is a very valid point and I already know you will counter with "But I like the paycheck". Thats fine, I have a solution. Win the freaking lottery.

5. Husband type person who sleeps in my bed - Either get a second job and buy me my laptop now, or let me have some computer time in the evening. I cannot leave the babies upstairs unsupervised for more then five minutes at a time. This is not enough time to blog. I know I am addicted, But it's somethingI enjoy. We need to work something out. I refuse to wait till midnight, when you go to bed, to blog.

6. People who built my house - Im super happy you got a great deal on the DISCONTINUED line of toilets. I am not so happy, however, that My FIL had to go to over 20 different stores to find a part for said discontinued toilet. Use half a brain. If a toilet is no longer being manufactured, neither are its guts. Should this part not work, and I have to install a whole new toilet just so I can flush, I will be forced to start slinging shit in all directions.

7. Blogroll Maker People- You lured me in with your fast talking pitch. You had me dependent on the little *~* that showed up. I knew whenever my favorite bloggers updated. And besides that I had a comprehensive list of who to read and more importantly, where. Then you went down. Now of all times. When I finally have the time to sit and Stalk read up on what everyone has been doing. Why? Why would you choose today? Just three days since I cleaned up my computes bookmarked pages. Why would you leave me sitting here with no back up? You had better return my list to me, unharmed, or there will be HELL to pay!
EDIT : OK blogroll, I forgive you. Don't let it happen again!
EDIT2: FUCK YOU. Give it back. Dont freaking tease me with it until I close the window "just to make sure" and then hocus pocus it away again. GIVE ME BACK MY LINKS

*Coming Soon* How to paint with cats... a heart warming story of a cat, a gallon of paint and lots of cat shapoo.

Sunday Six - A duck of a good time

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Kelly Hasn't gotten the Sunday six questions up yet (?) Not sure if she forgot, what with her big case going to court, or if she is still sick. I hope its forgetting and not still sick!
Hubs and I decided to ask our own question. I had to get hubby involved becasue I wrote down five questions instead of six and didn't realise until I went to type out number six. Rainbow Man(6.10) and Blue Boy (4.6) Participated. If you did a sunday six, please tell me so I can come and check it out!

1. Kelly was sick last weekend. Why Do you think Kelly hasnt gotten the sunday six questions up this week?

Rainbow man - Umm. Because she is very very sick still. Maybe she has the chicken pox!

Blue boy- Cus she is sick. She is sick of the giant spiders teeth. Just like I am sick.

2.If you picked the questions, what question would you like to be asked?

Rainbow man- I don't know.

Blue boy - Of flowers?

3. Do you think I should give The K-ster back her ducky?
Rainbow man - No. (laughs)

Blue boy - Uh huh.

4. Was it mean or funny to torture the ducky?

Rainbow man - Funny. I liked the one where you hanged the string on the ducks neck. And the one of duck soup.

Blue boy- It was mean

5.What would happen if you did that to a real animal?

Rainbow man -
They would arrest you.

Blue Boy - We would get under arrested.

6. What should we do to the Ducky next?

Rainbow Man - Take a toy gun and aim it at it and take a picture

Blue Boy - ( laughs) Boil It.

No Hiaku with these photos cus blogger shut down as I hit the publish Button Five Freaking HOURS ago. So deal with it. (blue boy is aiming the gun)

Weekend Drivel

Saturday, September 23, 2006

So not one single person has offered up a recipie for me. That bites. You all suck. Go to the Kitchen and get me one NOW.

Back? Good. I bought the ingridiants for Chris's meat dip today. In a smaller quantity of course. I think Im going to really enjoy it. A normal Shopping Saturday is Hell. Three kids and weirdos.. what else could it be? Today we were walking out of Costco and met up with the In-laws. Told my MIL I'd pay her 20 bux if she would take Rainbow Man with her, and she fell for it. You all know I have no intention of paying her.

So of course we took advantage of him being gone and bought his birthday presents. We got him binoculars. He wanted them. I dont know why. But we spoil him like that. His sibs bought him some sort of magnetic car track thingy or something. I wasn't really paying attention. His party is booked at the Fun Factory. Uh, don't google this, I just tried and you get PORN! I sooo know fab is typing it in his browser as the rest of you read! He is bringing nine kids to his party, and has decided on the sports theme room. He got pretty upset when I pretended to call and book the pretty princess room. He is sooo weird. Ummm.. By he I mean Rainbow Man, Not Fab. Not that Fab isnt Weird and all, oh nevermind.

I can't wait till Wednesday I get to buy mulch ( please , for the love of God, won;t someone tell me what mulch is before wednesday??? Please!!!) Oh, And I plan on beating up Kiss(BFF) cus she got tickets to the Dixie Chicks. Im gonna stuff her in my trunk, and go sit with her mom. I figure if I put on her cute little cowboy hat, her ma wont know the difference. Oh have ai mentioned that one of the biggest reasons I think Bush Sux Ass is because of what he did to the Chicks for having freaking OPINION????? Bush is a Dumb Fuck. I feel bad for you Americans.
You can move into my house if you want, as long as you don't mind making the coffee in the morning.

I watched Deal or no Deal for the first time on Thursday. That show rocks, Except for the part where I was jumping on the couch screaming DEAL. Take the freaking money you cow and woke up the baby. Yea that was impressive. I also hated the part where they stopped the freaking episode before she said Deal or No Deal. Buncha TV jerks.

I got nuthing Im gonna check out my blogroll see who has updated n then hit the bath.


Commenting on Blogs

Friday, September 22, 2006

I love blogs. I love reading them. I miss you when you forget to update. But I am not the best at commenting all the time. I suck. I really do. Somedays I run down to the computer, see who has updated and do a quick read keeping on ear cocked for the kids upstairs. I always mean to come back and comment, but somehow that doesnt happen as often as it should.

I run down on average once every two to three hours. It's an addiction I am working on.

And when I do comment.. I mean it. So it really really really REALLY bothers me to go back to a blog to see what the poster has replied (if they have) to my comment, and find it Deleted. Gone. Like it never happened. Like my veiws on something are shit? I totally get the fact that its YOUR blog, and your the boss and shit. But its an opinion and by opening up the "comment" option on a post, you are asking for them. Darn shame that some people have different opinions on different subjects, but it happens occasionally. Communication. Its important.

Only one time have I disallowed a comment on my site, aside from the spam , and that was a comment giving out my home address. I'll publish a comment where you tell me my kids are ugly, that my dog is mangy and my husband is gay. But be sure i will refute them in the comments as well. Thats how you communicate people. I don't have a dog by the way, so call it whatever you want.

Im not about to publicise the blogger who deletes comments, and should he/she want to out themselves by refuting this post, that comment Will be published, But let it be known, Im. Pissed. Off.

A lot.

Anyways. We saw Click today. its good. really good. A movie that can make you laugh till you pee one minute and in the next, bring you to tears.... go see it. Really. I mean it, go.

Are you still here?

Fab? Gimmee the recipie dammit!!

Boring Long Post : Don't Read

Thursday, September 21, 2006

My new door is up. But we can't use it. Well we can but anyone under say 25 is barred from touching it. Without a special chain thingy, the door will open into our big window on the living room, and like most windows ours are made of glass. So if you want to visit, I'll open the garage for ya. And make a fresh pot of coffee while you are at it!

Wednesday. Its my favorite day ever. Wednesday means coffee, and coffee means Kiss(BFF). A few hours of no kids, no bounderies. My favorite part might be when I play the ATM like a slot machine and scream "I won" and freak when it gives me money. I like trying to convince other people to try their luck. It might be the part where I act like a teen, no worries about bills and kids and leaky floors. Maybe my favorite part is re-connecting with Kiss, a weeks worth of comings and goings. Having someone to bounce ideas off on. We never got around to talking about if Rainbow Man should start having "regular" chores around the house and an allowance. I'd like some input on this by the way. (yes I mean you) Keep in mind he is only one month shy of seven.

OMG He is almost seven. WTF when did that happen? He has lost four teeth. My god I remember calling my dad from a Hotel Lobby payphone crying with excitement when I felt the first tooth! He is almost as tall as me. He can read and spell and cross streets. He can change a diaper. A poopy diaper instead of waking me up and getting me to do it. I don't agree with that by the way and I told him so, he is the brother, not the parent and there is no way its his responsibility to change a diaper. He will have enough of those in fifteen or twenty years. Hopefully.

I found out soemthing really cool about Blue Boy today. See when we write things, I place the pencil in his hand for him and help guide his hand up and down and around to make the letters. Today I wrote "Happy Birthday Papa" on a peice of paper and let him do it on his own because I was busy (READ: I wanted to read my book and drink coffee) I went for a java refill and checked to see how he was doing and there were letters on the page. Recognizable letters. I have been trying SO. FREAKING. HARD to get him to make letters. Any letter. ANYTHING AT ALL... With no luck because without my hand to guide his, he zooms off the page, uncontrollably. Then I noticed he had the marker gripped in his Left hand. Coooool. I whelped a lefty!

My mom was a lefty. She had the neatest writing I have ever seen, it was all slanty and every letter was perfect. I loved the way her writing looked. Plus she had the page turned almost upside down when she wrote. Thats talent. Sometimes I grab a book from the oodles of boxes my dad ships to me (cus he loves me) and I open the front page and see a bunch of random numbers she has written, a phone number a math problem, and Its cool. Gone for so long, and yet there is a part of her in this book, and now a part in my son. Genetics ROCK.

Some people have grown concerned over my little foray into the wide world of Duck abduction. But its OK. Trust me. When The K-Ster's daddy gets back from the rigs, she can have her duck back. Just think of me as an abusive Duck Babysitter. Or something. (This is mostly directed to FlipFlopMama, she's such a softie)

Speaking of Bloggers. I got a sweet ass recipie for Apple Crisp off OneTallMommas blog. (I hate apples, kids love em) And I was going to take a picture of it, after I made it, but I got busy and then it was gone. Just vanished. I found some later on Blue Boys chin, and some on the babies chair. But they said they were framed. I also stole a recipie from Chris, down at Notes from The Trenches. I haven't made this one yet, but I was thinking it would be nice during the Christmas Holidays. Or soemthing. It just sounded so damn yummy I had to steal it!. So, Who else out here has some great recipies? I hear Mrs Fab makes a great cooookkkieeee...... anyone? Anyone?

xo people

EDIT: Just popped back in, I was over at IT2M, they just reveiwed a site with the SAME template as mine. Freaky. I know it is a free skin, and one I plan on only using temporarily, but its really weird to see someone elses thoughts where it seems mine should go. Anyways, Its official girls, the wet stuff on her lips may be drool. Here is a quote:
Red and white. Lips with what appears to be drool. Nice template overall except for that annoying line running down the side of the content box before the sidebar separation line. I can see it very clearly on my desktop but it’s not as noticeable on my laptop.
Remind me not to get re reveiwed using this template, Mkay?

Once I saw a Pecker Wood

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed
a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided
to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much
yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the
crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said.Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
And the congregation said, "Amen."

  • Cold. Brrr.
  • Cleaned the garage.
  • Cleaned the backyard.
  • Shut off the exterior water.
  • Cleaned the weeds out of the back alley.
  • Did not get a nap.
  • Ran out of Duck torture photos.. I think
  • Selling our snakes ... Interested?
  • Cold.

This is why all you get is pictures today. Mostly cus Im FREEZING and cannot wait to crawl into the bath tub. Gonna be thinking of me all wet n neked now arent you?

Shame on you .... Pervert

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I never once said he wasn't weird.

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I found a photo
Lost in the oldest archives
Frozen Stiff, Like me.

Ducks who are plastic
Should not opt for surgery
Duck looks fine to me

Under the knife, duck?
what would your dear mother say?
Looks aren't everything.

Got your own duck show
Prime time slots for nip and tuck
Season one : New You

And now Im off to the bath. Oh one more thing
We had a bird in the garage last night and this morning. Trying to come up with the birds name (it was a finch), Blue Boy offered this suggestion : Maybe it is a pecker wood.

Duck Tired

My children go to bed at eight. This is very important to me! At eight oh one I have four hours to do ... whatever. Last night I wanted a bath, to sew a beach bag to handstitch the binding on a quilt and blog about my mail.

Round about ten thirty Stuperman wakes up. For good. I cannot stress how rare this is, My kids sleep when they are told. thats it, thats all. So havimg my routine disrupted makes me cranky. I thought I had him back to sleep at 11. And again at quarter after twelve. At one thirty I shut the door to his room and put a pillow over my head and went to sleep.

Not Sure how long he cried for, but he was asleep when I got up.. untill.... well thats a post better left for a Thursday!

So I am tired, I am cranky, I will Need a nap this afternoon, which means that dollars to donuts, the inlaws will be over here for something. Here is my mail!

My prize came in the mail! This sucker is HUGE! like twice the size of my normal cup. Sweet dawgs. I have to go wake up Rainbow Man for school, and eat soemthing and I am tired of trying to type with my blurry eyes. Duck Update anyone?

Wait, no, thats my children of the corn photo from the other night. I'm not fixing it. Deal with it.

Duck Soup I must Write
Hiaku hiaku Im sleepy
You write it, meanie!

Duck Update

Sunday, September 17, 2006

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No time left for rhyme
The litter box is waiting
The snakes are dirty

I have work work work
waiting to be done, by me
who wants to help? You?

The Duck is a meal
Name this delectable treat
So yummy for you

A sad time tonight
I heard the baby crying
I must return Duck.

Go read the Sunday six Nine.

Click here to see our latest pic submitted to stuff on my cat... which is a kick ass site by the way.

Sunday Six Nine and MIssing Teeth

Kelly was unable to do the Sunday Six, But thanks to my fellow bloggers, we can still play. The questions were awesome, even I was chuckling as I wrote down their answers. Rainbow Man (6.11) and Blue Boy (4.5) played. And here we go!

Mr. Fabulous said... Where does the Easter Bunny live?

Rainbow Man: Um he lives in a little cave where there is all chocolate eggs. Everything is chocolate.

Blue Boy: Where chocoalte is.

Fantastagirl said... Since it's almost time for the season's to change... how about?

1)What is your favorite Season?

Rainbow Man: Umm, spring ~ it's nice and hot and we get to go to the water park, and I like winter too (does he mean summer or spring??)

Blue Boy: Blue

2)Why do the leaves change colors in the fall?

Rainbow Man: Becasue they are going to die so they fall off yellow or brown or maybe sometimes green too? Can they fall off green?

Blue Boy: Cus they get watered and wet and change leaf colors. Like clothes.

3)Why does the sun go to bed so early at night in the winter? (asked by Tink)

Rainbow Man: Because the moon is coming back here and if the moon doesen't come back here it will be time to wake up too early.

Blue Boy: Cus It's tired

4)How much snow is too much snow?

Rainbow Man: When It is up to somebodys deck. Thats' really high, right?

Blue Boy: That we have to *** (I couldnt understand his word here, he made shoveling motions with his hands to explain and when I said "do you mean shovel" he agreed)

5)Have you ever made a snowman?

Rainbow Man: No.

Blue Boy: No, I would need help to making a snowman.

6) What is the best way to eat cookies? (with milk, or without?)

Rainbow Man: With Milk, because it tastes better.

Blue Boy: With Milk, cus its yummy

Lady Noelle said...

What's your favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving?

Rainbow Man: Uhmm, whats thanksgiving? The turkey Day? (I said Yes) OK. Turkeys.

Blue Boy: Cookies (Still back with the cookies and milk question I think)

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Rainbow Man: A pirate

Blue Boy: A dinasour. Cus you tol' me you wasn;t wasting money when the dinasour fits, member? Can't I be a monkey again?

Rainbow Man pulled His. Own. Tooth. tonight. All by himself. He is six. Don't get me wrong there was a lot of crying and yelling while I tied the knot onto the tooth, But I figured he'd give it wussy tugs and then ask for the knot off and I'd lie and say sure i'll take it off, but then rip out the tooth ( his adult tooth is popping out already, with the baby tooth still in place. With just four baby teeth gone and four adult teeth to judge by, I'm pretty sure he will need braces anyway ~Sigh~) but he pulled it out himself, without me. so all is GOOOOD. There was a lot of blood tho... on the sink, his shirt the soap the walls the floor... you get the picture. He tried to spit in the sink, but sprayed it instead.

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Sunday Six Help

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Kelly, the wonderful creator of Sunday Six is Ill. Horribly nastily fluishly ILL. That means she can't do the Sunday Six questions. At first I thought that I could think up six, but after talking to my oldest, we decided to leave the questions up to you people. In the comment section as a question. It can be for all three or just for one (Rainbow Man 6.11~Blue Boy 4.5~Stuperman 2.4)

Of course any question that is inappropriate will not be asked and I will hunt you down and hurt you for being a bad influance. The kids are willing to do more then six if more then six get asked.. So what are you waiting for??? Hop to it, Because we can't do this without you guys!

OMG..Overheard in New York

And Remember, Fans, Wednesday Is 'Pussy Tattoo Night' Here at the Ballpark

Woman #1: I don't know how I'm gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I've even tried waxing.
Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there.
Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings.
Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That's a start.


tooo freaking funny, but I wonder how painful it would be to actually get a tattoo "there"

I'm So Wet

Friday, September 15, 2006

(2:30 pm)And so are my towels. We are in the middle of a serious towel shortage, and I have three closets FULL of towels. Right now I am using a sheet while the towels are in the dryer - dirty, cus I don't have time to wash them.

(4:30pm) If the rain does not stop soon I will cry. The wind is driving it straight against the door at sixty miles an hour. Dammit. Oh, wait, did I forget to mention one tiny detail?

This is all our fault.

We are lazy bastards. Waaaaay back in October when we bought this house we saw we needed to re-caulk where the laminate meets the exterior doors. The Other Half has a real aversion to playing with caulk and we both didn't want the house smelling like caulk, so it never got done.

So now It is supposed to rain all tonight and tommorrow and then snow.... fuckers! But funnily enough about five minutes before it started to rain the other day, I had Blue Boy kill a spider for me. So It may be double my fault!

(8:55pm) the rain has slowed considerably. Really its just spitting. I have a stack of dirty but dry towels incase the wind picks up tommorrow. FIL brought over a space heater (which I hate) to try and dry up the laminate and the wood under it. Space heaters are dangerous and I want to sneak up and unplug it.

Too wet to haiku
Ducky has played in the water
Bad, naughty duck,

I took the VISA
Snatched it from you're purse
I bought out the stores

And now you will dread
The she-mailman's heavy tread
She will bring the bills

I should not have bought
a car, an Apple, a big TV?
You will pay for me!

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Yesterday I asked y'all to Guess the Torture. Good job RoxDar! You guessed Duct Tape.

Here is Your name up in lights:

Myspace Graphics, MySpace Glitter Graphics, MySpace Glitters, MySpace Goodies, Myspace Codes at www.MyGlitterSpace.comGenerate Your Own Glitter Graphics @ - Image hosted by ImageShack.usMyspace Graphics, MySpace Glitter Graphics, MySpace Glitters, MySpace Goodies, Myspace Codes at

Who wants to guess todays? Its pretty easy... almost spelled out for you ...

Edit: OMG. /Edit

Water Works in Full Effect

I'm a bit concerned about the water drip drip dripping from my basement roof.

Oh What a Day

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Wow. An exhausting day. It's hard work, this kidnapping gig.It has been very wet and windy here. It was way too hot in the house, but the wind was blowing the rain in the windows.... all the windows. How is this even possible?

We had "meet the teacher night" at Rainbow Man's school. his classroom is colorful and nice, and I like the teacher. I brought up some concerns and she took me seriously, so yay. Also we had to sign up for parent teacher conferences. WTF is with that? Its the first part of september...sheesh

Hey did you know it is super easy to qualify as a spy in Canada? Cus My BFF Kiss just got her papers last night. I can't tell you what agency she works for, cus she'd have to kill me ... or somthing. All you need to do is move into a building two plus years before the retards people upstairs do.

Hmmm... yea so my sister lives in the same building as Kiss. Kiss moved in while I was six or so months pregnant with the brat Stuperman, so almost three years. My sister moved in about two months ago. Therefor Kiss is a spy.. but she doesn't get cool gadgets, and she said even if she did, she would not let me borrow them. Anyway My Genius sister accused Kiss of "spying" on them. Should I remind her she is the one who gave me her current address, NOT Kiss? Should I ask her if her dingleberry BF told her that Me, Hubs and the kids saw him exiting the building ~ and he saw us? Or that when I pick up Kiss for our weekly coffee date, I can see them canoodling on the balcony? Nah... Why ruin her fantasy!

Yes, we do freaky ass things on our dates.

So on to more interesting things... like torure and mayhem.... Duck Tales Awoo-oo...

Poor little Ducky.
They have left you here with me.
Nobody loves you.

Sticky yucky tape
covering up your yellow face.
Can't cry for help now

What fun torture is
can you guess what I did?
All tied in tape, Duck

So many mean things
I will do to you, sad duck.
No one can stop me

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Feel free to take Guesses on what this duck related torture is named.... There are no prizes for being smart, it's rather obvious.

EDIT: Want to see the Ducky owner beg me for mercy? It's Grade A entertainment. Visit her blog!

Big Bertha's Prision Bitch

I am headed down the slippery slope of morality. Soon I will be reduced to blogging about my shower activities with Big Bertha on the prison computer. Do prisons have computers? I have committed a crime. Or am about to I should Say. No backing down from this once I hit that big old publish button. It will be on display for the world to see!! Am I sorry? No, or at least not yet. Ask me again when if the authorities find out.

Cops don't go online, right?

I am not sure what the penalty for Kidnapping and Torture are in my Provence, so I am asking you all, from one friend to another... Don't rat me out to the Donut Boys!

And Now I present to you all, in the very first step I take as a criminal master mind, for You're veiwing pleasure,

The Duck

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From this point on, I will only discuss my crime in Haiku, Because all great Criminal Masterminds have their own unique "Signature".

I took the ducky.
Stolen from that precious baby
will I set him free?

Will I make demands

of diamonds, jewels, cash and cars?
No, nothing like that.

I plan to torture

my fowl rubbery foe
Quack for mercy, Duck!

Dear ducky owner,

Contact me, or the duck dies.
That yellow Quacker

Lesson Learned

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

(a story of luck)

I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite a lot indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations.

So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door... I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased; you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Lesson learned: Always keep your condoms in your car.

HodegePodge O'Crap

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

So, in the past few days, Rainbow Man got 100% on his spelling test, Stupermans' Man Parts exploded, Blue boy bathed in mud, the Cats trashed the bathroom, and I have been frantically reading the 9/11 tributes. Ah.... shall I back up for a moment?

Rainbow Man, now is second grade, has manditory homework every night. This is not homework he fails to complete during school, but work he must do at home to "strengthn the bond between home and school". Monday he is assigned 15 words for the spelling test on Friday. Those must be practiced nightly. He Brings home assinged reading each night, Also a list of question he must orally answer on the story to ensure he is not just reading, but understanding what he reads. Friday night, along with his assigned reading he has math homework to be returned on Monday, where the whole cycle continues.

Some days, the work takes an hour, other days, when I am tired and easily frustrated with the normal mistakes kids make, this can take up to two hours to do. I would NOT be able to homeschool, thought I admire those who do. Last Fridays' spelling test, he got 15/15. Mondays Pre-test he scored 11/15 and on tonights' he got them all right. He quite enjoyed reading to his brothers tonight.

And Stuperman. What a horrible experience. I liked the nurse and intern and even the doctor who saw him, but I never ever want to have to sit and hear nasty words like "hospitalization", "attacking his organs" , Polluting his bloodstream", "death" in association with one of my children Ever. Again.. Ever.

Sunday morning his Poor little Man parts had swelled so much they litterally burst at the seams. There was pus and miles of open skin. He could not walk. I immediatly got dressed and headed for the hospital, and he was seen by a nurse within two minutes of checking in, an intern not even five minutes later, and the doctor very shortly after that. Cultures were taken, and the splits in his penis were pulled back )he did not like this part at all) to make sure it was the soft top layer of skin that had split and not deeper. Imagine stitches...there. It was nasty.

And here, two days later I proudly showed Hubsters parents how wonderful and healed it looked. They had gone to visit one of their kids and just got home tonight. Papa glanced and looked away. Nana was horrified by how bad it looked. WHAT???? this is nothing, they should have seen it Sunday!

For the second day in a row, Blue boy has ignored my explicit orders to Stay. Away. From. The. Hose. Far away. Not to even think the word Hose. Water comes out of hoses and water mixed with dirt makes mud. My bathtub will never ever be the same again.

And the cats? They are hanging from their toenails in the garage right now. Or sleeping on the couch. But they deserve to be hung! A string, hanging from the towel in the bathroom. A freaking string. And now, YAY, I get to sand and mud and try to remember what freaking yellow we used on the walls . They brought down the towel rod, and half of the plaster with it. All. For. A. STRING.

Baaaad Kitty. BAD! No Cat Nip for you. In fact... Isn"t it time for a bath? Y'all kinda look dirty all sitting oh so innocently licking that foot!

I have decided I want to read all of the 9/11 tributes, and this make take some time. Over 3400 bloggers joined. Unfortunatly I have already read some blogs who did not post a tribute, and then in the next minute read bloggers who wrote theirs and ones for the names so casually dropped. All of the tributes have been different, and all of them have pressed it deeper that these were people, not just names or a vauge idea of lives lost. But beyond that, what happened, happened. I am sick of seeing the photos of the towers online and on TV. I am sick of hearing Bush turn what is supposed to be a memorial into a political lobbying for a war. Yea.... an eye for an eye is a reaaaal practical solution. Not that I can offer up a practical solution, but still. We are here and alive, and while we should never forget that this happened, we don't need to obsess about it either.

I am working on a 100 things list for my 500th post, so far I am at 60, and five hundred is coming up fast.

Tommorrow is garbage day so I will cut this now, as I have to remind hubs we still have to clean the snake tank and get the garbage delt with.

Dude! I am totally planning on responding to comments. Serious.

At Least I Died Happy

I went to Fab's place, where I was sent at lemure point to Nobodys' house. There I got this death threat. Buncha TV stealing Marsupial lovin jerks!

'What will your obituary say?' at

Matthew Carmen Sellitto ~9/11 Tribute~

Monday, September 11, 2006

This post is going up early, I had planned on publishing on Midnight, September 11th, but I have noticed some hits in statcounter looking for it already. Please scroll down for the latest posts. ~ Sunday Six is up

Matthew Carmen Sellitto

On September 11, 2006, 2,996 volunteer bloggers will join together for a tribute to the victims of 9/11.Each person will pay tribute to a single victim. We will honor them by remembering their lives,and not by remembering their murderers.

I am not American. I do not know anyone who was personally affected by this act of savegery. But I am a human being, And as so I hurt for those who died. Those who have to live on without thier loved ones, and for the babies who have been born since, never having the chance to be held by their daddies.

The morning of September 11th, I was sleeping when the first plane hit. I had found out on August 9th that I was pregnant with Blue Boy. We lived with my Mother In Law at the time. She came downstairs and woke me up by saying "World War Three has started. Someone has attacked America." I assumed she was exagerating as is her want. I hoped she was exagerating. I came to the Tv intime to see the second plane hit. And there I sat rooted for hours watching coverage. Rainbow Man did not get breakfast. I wondered about the baby inside me, and weather we should be bringing a child into a world where this type of disgisting behavior can happen. I cried. I obsessed about the victems. I was horrified to find out about the women who were pregnant and lost their partners in the attack. I was pregnant along side of them. When Blue Boy was born, I looked at my husband and was thankful he was by my side, when so many other people had lost theirs.

The Victim I was assigned to remember is Matthew Carmen Sellitto. He was 23 year old. He had a Mother and a father who loved him. His mother kept a journal to help her greive. On October 11th she wrote : Can you see me? My heart aches like nothing I have ever experienced.
His father remembers his last phone call. Matthews Black Labrador fills his parents' house in Harding Township, N.J., with occasional barks.

Matthew Started his job with Cantor Fitzgerald in February. Their office was on the 105th floor of the First Tower. He was only a few months older then me.

The United In Memory Group is a " a non-profit organization whose purpose is to keep alive the memories of the victims of September 11, 2001 through the United in Memory 9/11 Victims Memorial Quilt™.

The have generously allowed me to share Mathews Quilt Block with you.

Please Visit the 2996 Tribute homepage.
Read Our Tributes.
Above all, Remember.

Stuperman ~ Kryptonite Attack

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Our little Stuperman is very ill. I took him to the emergency room this morning. he is on high doses of antibiotics and must return at 4pm tommorrow. If his infection is no better tommorrow he must be hospitalised for IV antibiotics and to keep a close watch on his other organs.

Therefor, please excuse my tardiness on posting and answering comments, as well as checking all of your blogs.

EDIT: Stuperman isnow passing small amounts of blood in his urine. I am getting VERY worried. I called the Emergency room, they just told me to "watch him close". Why can't they just say bring him in? What if I put him to bed and he worsens beyond their help?

EDIT2: Woke Stuperman up for antibiotics and a diaper change (he is fully trained for day, but not night). His Swelling is down A LOT. Still very red and angry looking, when He wakes I will pop more baby tylonol into him, but I am sure that when we go to the ER tonight, the Doctor will not make him get the IV. Fingers crossed people!!

Final Edit: Stuperman is bouncing off the walls. I don't know if they gave him antibiotics of sugar. The swelling is about 99% gone. He is all scabs and ooozy spots, but he doesnt seem to be in any actual pain... which I dont understand. All day today he has been able to pee without screaming, so i dont really care if it was sugar or not, it take sthe pain away. His bladder and kidneys were also affected by the staph, but the doctor said he will be fine in time, as long as we give him the full course of antibiotics ( well DUH) so, hopefully the major stuff is delt with and we can get on with healing up the broken icky yucky skin parts. Hubs cant look at his dingle without wincing.... neither can Rainbow Man. Blue boy is pretty sure that stup had an operation like he did, no matter how much I try to explain. One good thing though. Stuperman is not afraid of the doctors, even with all of their grabbing and pulling. He got out of the bath with wrinkled fingers and told me " my finder bwoked. Doctor fix it?" Im going up to have ice cream now. have a good night everyone!

Sunday Six ~ Homework

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Kelly has Given us our Sunday Six homework Assignment... Homework. Rainbow Man ( grade 2) is assigned Homework Monday thru Friday. This is not work that he has failed to finish in schooil, but work assigned Just.For.Home. On a normal night, it only takes him an Hour, which includes a half hour of reading out loud to us.
Stuperman (2.3) Blue Boy ( 4.5) and Rainbow Man (6.11) Participated.

1. What is homework?

: No.
Blue Boy: A place where we go.
Rainbow Man: It's work you have to do in school to learn how to read.

2.Who assigns homework?

My Sponge Bob.
Blue Boy: Teachers.
Rainbow Man: Miss. Teacher.

3. When do you do homeowork?

: I show kitty Sponge Bob.
Blue Boy: At Four O'clock.
Rainbow Man: At school time.

4. Is homework Fun?

Yea. Sponge Bob. I want Ju (Juice)
Blue Boy: Yea.
Rainbow Man: No.

5. How long does it take you to do homework?

Take it.
Blue Boy: 40,000 seconds.
Rainbow Man: I Dunno. Long.

6. If you could grade your own homework, what would you get?

(laughs) What happen daddy foot?
Blue Boy: A "c".
Rainbow Man: If it wasn't good writing, I';d get a "b". If it was good writing, I'd get a "A".

Please check out Kellys trubute for September Eleventh.
We Can't afford to forget!

New Canadian Currency

America should consider changing their currency too!
Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting.

The Canadians have decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Islamic terrorist, from even touching it.
It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism: