:) :(

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Let's give this a shot. Who knows I might get lucky and find relief. Things have been super shitty. And super awesome.

The awesome parts have been amazing. I got a job! Two of them, actually! I went to disney!! I got two new puppies! A kitten and a hedgehog! A car!!

But the shitty parts? I nearly died from it. Some days I feel like I still might. My sister died. She left me. All of us. She's gone and it kills me to think of it. It's been nearly five years and my brain still shoes away from thinking if it. My heart aches, and I can't get enough oxygen. My whole body tenses and tthe pain is incredible. Still.

I haven't dealt with it, but I've learned how to hide the pain pretty good. The only problem is that I'm in Such constant pain, such constant agonizing pain, that it takes so little to push me off the edge.

Bad traffic? Kids misbehave? A paper cut?

I'm constantly on the verge Of a breakdown. I feel like a little doll that has been stitched together, but with too much stuffing, at rush o popping my seems at any instant.

And that is why I'm back here. Maybe I need a valve. A release.

We'll see. Give it a shot. Can't hurt, and anything helps, at this stage.

2 Comments:

Blogger Miss Lexiloo said...

Found you! Hope the venting is therapeutic!

3:47 PM, November 08, 2014  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

Love you!

4:08 PM, November 08, 2014  

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