Big Bertha's Prision Bitch

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I am headed down the slippery slope of morality. Soon I will be reduced to blogging about my shower activities with Big Bertha on the prison computer. Do prisons have computers? I have committed a crime. Or am about to I should Say. No backing down from this once I hit that big old publish button. It will be on display for the world to see!! Am I sorry? No, or at least not yet. Ask me again when if the authorities find out.

Cops don't go online, right?

I am not sure what the penalty for Kidnapping and Torture are in my Provence, so I am asking you all, from one friend to another... Don't rat me out to the Donut Boys!

And Now I present to you all, in the very first step I take as a criminal master mind, for You're veiwing pleasure,


The Duck

Posted by Picasa
From this point on, I will only discuss my crime in Haiku, Because all great Criminal Masterminds have their own unique "Signature".

I took the ducky.
Stolen from that precious baby
will I set him free?

Will I make demands

of diamonds, jewels, cash and cars?
No, nothing like that.

I plan to torture

my fowl rubbery foe
Quack for mercy, Duck!

Dear ducky owner,

Contact me, or the duck dies.
That yellow Quacker


12 Comments:

Blogger MIA said...

HILARIOUS< OMG you are so funny.

11:21 PM, September 13, 2006  
Blogger Catch said...

ok whose duck did you take??? what baby is left crying for his duckie?

12:46 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You fiend!

It is a good thing there is no law enforcement in Canada, or I would be dropping a dime on you right now!

6:54 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Umm...you're not actually going to do any...inserting of the duck anywhere, are you?

6:55 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Girl you are crazy! Hey? Did you get over that whole running your foot over thing???

7:03 AM, September 14, 2006  
Anonymous Dawn (webmiztris) said...

wait, I'm confused - where did the Ducky come from?

9:25 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Mia or maybe deranged....

Catchare you a cop? why are you asking so many questions!

Mr.Fab Ha! we have donut eating police horses here

Mr.Fab Please stay tuned for more torture updates

Flip Flop No, but now its too cold for a cast. we will try again in the spring

WebMiz Got any good duck torture Ideas?

9:56 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger sponge_bobs_pants said...

please dont kill poor ducky he means so much to me in my bath tub.....we swim together we do everything...oh please dont kill the ducky....THINK OF THE CHILDREN....hahahaha

9:59 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger sponge_bobs_pants said...

and for all of you the klittle girl who is missing her precious ducky at bath time is 8 months old....what a crime blue what a crime

9:59 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

oh give the babygirl back her ducky - I'll send her a new ducky ... oh the tears...the horror...

8:11 PM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger sponge_bobs_pants said...

I WANT MY DUCKY BACK

10:07 PM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Lady Noelle said...

your funny

10:29 AM, September 15, 2006  

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