Because I trust you to play by the rules. Yes. Even you

Friday, November 02, 2007

Part One: I'm a Dumbass

I went to see the optometrist today and I almost came home with a sixty four year old man. He was the cutest thing ever. I just wanted to squeeze his fat old man cheeks and invite him for Christmas Dinner.

I didn't, But only because it is not my year to host .

So I'm sitting in the super uncomfortable special optometrist chair and the chick tells me to take off my glasses, cover my left eye and read the board.

I told her I see nothing.

So she points at the board again and says Just read that.

I said "All I can see is a glowing white square"

This time she turns on the lights in the room, walks up to the board thingy, touches it and says "Right here, I want you to look right here and tell me what you see"

"NOTHING. I cannot see a damn thing! There is nothing there FOR me to see, you haven't put it up." And I am feeling all smug right then. Pointing out her mistakes like that. Yea! Take that you beeeee-atch! Woooo! I ROCK!

Until she asked me to put my glasses back on and I saw that there was a letter on the board. In fact it was. Sigh. The large "E".

Turns out I can be declared legally blind - without my glasses. I am fine with them. Or sort of fine. They gave me a new prescription.

Part two : Show and tell.

I got mail! From Sheila! Look!


Oh Noes! Naked feets!

Yay! Non-naked feet!

Oh noes! Attack Of teh puppy!~
Puppies like new socks to!

Woe Is me! More Nekked toes!

Oh wait, I'll just put this conveniently packaged pussy on them. Now my toes are toasty warm!



Don't worry new socks! I'll protect you from that dastardly wabbit Puppy!


Part teh Three: Trust

And now I put you on the honor system Interwebs. I am trusting you to NOT click this link. This link is JUST for My Sheila's Tommy. Srsly Interwebs. My modesty is at stake!

And Tommy? If this makes you blush you HAVE to leave a comment!

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18 Comments:

Blogger Sheila said...

Yay Sockies! And, uh... uhm... *blush*

12:09 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger THOR said...

I feel truly honored ;-) XOXO

12:29 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger THOR said...

Nice helmet rack btw...

12:33 AM, November 03, 2007  
Anonymous Katie said...

LOL I laughed out loud when you were talking about the optometrist - I was with you, thinking the silly lady hasn't put it up yet. :D

3:24 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

You could have had three full posts and then you could have been lazy again, but you had to combine them into one and now you're screwed for next time!

6:11 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Annie Jones said...

If I were a guy, would you put the the Royals logo on the other one?

7:07 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

I like the sockies. I like new sockies, but only white ones. You know I have to wear white socks at work, so no sense buying any other color.

7:51 AM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Annie - he's not that into baseball! But I'm sure he wouldn't mind it.

10:20 AM, November 03, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

I looked....BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT!!!

12:17 PM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I clicked...NICE shot! :)

12:50 PM, November 03, 2007  
Anonymous Chris said...

Great funny post...Just decided to de-lurk and glad I did. I needed me some laughs.

8:19 PM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Sorry about the optometrist - I understand though...LOL

Love the socks....and now I have to go back and click the link, because I feel like everyone else is in on the joke, and its going right over my head...

9:51 PM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I clicked... *blush*

9:53 PM, November 03, 2007  
Blogger Robin said...

I'm not even 30 yet and I can tell I am getting more blind and deaf all the time.

4:28 PM, November 04, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

NICE SOCKS!

But seriously...the Chiefs? I thought you were smarter than that.

2:52 PM, November 05, 2007  
Blogger Angry said...

I didn't look, I promise.

Um, I've been meaning to ask... what football team do you follow..? (tehe).

2:19 PM, November 08, 2007  
Blogger Pixie said...

I totally looked, only cuz you told me not to! Blushing....

6:34 AM, November 09, 2007  
Blogger Pixie said...

I totally looked, only cuz you told me not to! Blushing....

6:34 AM, November 09, 2007  

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