I wasn't quite a teen, but I definitely wasn't a child when I fell in love for the first time. I can clearly remember seeing him on the TV for the first time. His rippling muscles, his attitude, the rakish tilt to his bandanna. All a girl on the verge could ever want. ~sigh~
But I had to hide my new found love from the world. I knew no one would understand. I knew I would be the brunt of a million jokes at home and at school. And so, I loved him in secret.
As the years past me by, I lost touch with him and his career. I grew up. Met a boy. Got married and had children of my own. I watched with jaded eye when I saw him on the television, smiling with a secret pride when my children gasped in awe watching him fight for justice.
Sadly I thought, he's changed - gotten older and less... mysterious.
I assumed I had finally grown up.
But today. Today I found the truth. I learnt that a girls' first love will survive anything. Today I watched him in the theatre. So large, at times his face took up the whole screen, and I felt that old familiar heat in my blood. Even my toes were tingling!
How wrong it felt, sitting there, passing Twizzlers to one child, holding a popcorn bucket for another, while my thoughts were centered on the being on screen. How wrong was it for me to be holding a toddler in my lap, my eyes closed, imagining a time and place where we could be together without societies prejudice.
How wrong was it that I left the cinema in a very, shall we say, excited state; caused from staring at my old beloveds
How wrong is it, that I am still in love with him?
Labels: I'm Important Too