Yesterday, I said to The Husband that my nose felt runny, but wasn't drippy enough to drip nor blow. I thought it was weird, but ignored it.
Later that night, my throat was killing me. It was like swallowing golf balls covered in jalapeno peppers every time I swallowed. Or swallowing a porcupine. Or a ball of sandpaper marinated in five alarm hot sauce. Basically it made me want to cry.
I was drinking Cough syrup right outta the bottle.
Today, My throat is much better, but there is an army of little snotz monsters attacking my lip. At bedtime, I told the boys no kissing, that I was a germ factory, and was sort of hurt that Rainbow Man looked so relieved.
He told me that there's boogers in your nose and you will kiss me gross and wet like Stuperman. Maybe tomorrow. Blue Boy offered to hold the cat to his face, like a furry germ shield, and I could kiss him through that. He giggled, I ended up with enough cat hair stuck to my lip to make me seriously consider shaving.
When I try to talk, I sound like a three pack a day frog. My lips are chapped and bleeding from breathing through my mouth. I've applied enough Vaseline to my nose to make me a shoo-in for a porno shoot.
The Husband, ever so concerned, asked me how my breathing was.
He clarified, Can you breath out of your nose at all?
I shook my head and blew my nose. Again.
He looked sadly at me and I was touched by his concern. Until he thrust out his pelvis and said I guess that means no blow job tonight, huh?
I agreed that was a safe assumption to make as I didn't want to be responsible for giving him a head cold.
Labels: I'm Important Too