Iced Cappichino Anyone?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

This is my third attempt at writing this post. I can't find the photo of Jittery Joe in the purple velvet, and he wont do a re-enactment for me. Rest assured that when I DO find it, I will pop it up in the photo blawg.

So. Don't read this if you are squeamish. I talk about periods. And placentas. Placenta placenta Placenta! If you got through that without wincing, please feel free to proceed.

It's February of '98. I am six weeks pregnant, though I would not find this out for another eight weeks. In preparation of our second Valentines together - back during a time when he still remembered it - I bought a dress. It was beautiful. Velvet. Purple. Strapless. I had my very first strapless bra to go with it and the tiny-est black thong I could find. It was going to be an awesome night of fine dining - on a budget, and hot hot sex for dessert.

Then my Ex- Boyfriend, Ty, called saying his mom was in a bind and would we be willing to come down and help them run the dog sled races during the Valentines weekend. How could we say no? The dress went to the back of the closet. I eventually did wear it. To coffee.

Saturday the fourteenth found us knee deep in snow, watching the races, with nothing to do. They had enough volunteers that we weren't really needed, but that's OK, we had fun anyway.

After the races, we went back to Ty's parents' farm and decided we would go tubing. For those of you with no snow, that's tying a tractor's inner tube to a ski-doo and going really fast and laughing and falling off, and generally having an awesome time. I do not recommend this as an appropriate activity for pregnant women. . .

I hadn't packed the proper clothing for this activity so Ty's mom lent me waist-high ski pants, mittens and a toque. I had a good winter coat already.

We were out for a good long time, and when we went in to warm up, I laughed at the snow that had been pushed up, without my knowing, into my shirt and bra. I didn't mind, I wasn't even cold!

That night my nipples were on fire. I went to the bathroom and peeked under my bra and they were red and swollen and OHMIGAWD!!ONFIRE!!PUTITOUT!!ITHURTS!

Uhm, just so you know, don't put cool cloths on frostbitten skin to kill the burning hot ouchyness. Yea, not a good idea.

So I took some Tylenol and hit the hay, hoping that whatever was wrong with my poor abused nipples would be done and gone by morning. I got my period that night. It was unusually heavy.

Unfortunately by morning my nipples were cracked and bleeding and blistered. Disgusting to say the least. I put some polysporin on them and tucked toilet paper in my bra and tried to get through the day.

By Monday I was dying. Or wishing. Same thing. Nothing can ever compare to what my nipples felt like. Every time I took a breath they would rub on my bra, opening blisters and skin and blood and guck and owie! They say you forget the pain of birth, and you do, but you do not forget this type of pain. Ever.

I finally went to a 24 hour clinic, basically, because I was pretty sure that my nipples were about to fall off, or explode. At that point I didn't care which, as long as the pain ended at the same time.

When the doctor explained to me that it was frost bite, I blanked, I couldn't figure out where This could possibly had happened, and I even argued with him. After about ten minutes I finally remembered the snow packed bra and slapped myself up-side the head.

So the Doctor peeled some of the dead skin off, not fun, gave me prescription creams and instructions to purchase breast pads. You know? The ones that stop leaky milk in Moo Mommies?

It took a long time before they were healed and a lot of embarrising doctor appointments. Even now, eight years later, when they get cold, they BURN. If you ever see me walking outside in the winter time and you cant see my hands in my sleeves, that's because they are tucked into my bra trying to keep my nipples warm.

Any ideas for next winter, girls? I've tried the little mitten inserts, but they get too hot too soon. I have what i call my winter bras, they are heavy thick Cotton. Can I get a bra in flannel? I wonder if lumberjack checks would turn Jittery Joe on...

Now for the hard part of the story. At the beginning I explained I was six or so weeks pregnant. We had no clue. None at all. I swear to God, If I knew, there is NO WAY I would have gotten on that inner tube. But I didn't know.

On March 25th, I went to the doctors for a pregnancy test. because Coffee Mom made Me I argued and argued when he told me I was already 14 weeks pregnant, I explained very patiently, that I had gotten a period, a nice heavy one, in February. I could not possibly be 14 weeks already.

But whatever! Cool! A baby!

Throughout my pregnancy with Rainbow Man there were weird shadows and echos during the ultrasounds. Lots of things that we didn't understand, nor to be truthful, really paid attention too. The baby was healthy at each appointment, growing, that's all I cared about. We planned our wedding, and by "we" I mean them, 'cus I watched a lot of TV and napped while they did all the work.

Finally the day came for RM to be born. I won't get into his whole birth story here, although, I would like to mention that I am a champion pusher and had that boy out before the doctor even got to the room. Three pushes. I rawk.

Anyway, at about four centimeters a nurse came and broke my water, then I had a nap. A new nurse came in a while later and broke my water again. I had no clue what was going on, I didn't pay attention to the birth videos in prenatal class except to make fun of the seventies bush the women all seemed to sport. And I was tired.

We didn't know anything was wrong until the nurses started to argue about who broke the bag of waters. Rainbow man was out and in his nice warm bassinet. Ten Fingers, Ten Toes. Jittery Joe was over on the other side of the room, doing the proud papa act, he even changed the first diaper.

When it was time for the placenta to come out, something else came with it. Something that the doctor later told me should have killed Rainbow Man in the womb. Rainbow Man had a twin. My doctor figures that because there was two separate sacs for them to live in, that's why RM didn't get ill.

And to be honest, really and truly honest, I had my healthy wee baby. I fell in love with him long before he was born. I didn't know about his sibling until it was already to late, and by then, well I had my baby, the only one I had known about and loved. The most perfect little man.

I've never been really sad about Rainbow Man's twin, whats the point? You can't miss what you don't know after all, but we do have a lot of questions about what, if anything, do we say to Rainbow Man about his birth.

Not really the post you expected, huh? I tried to make it humorous but I failed. I like whips, so flogging me is a viable option...Just sayin...

About the title. Seriously. I drink enough coffee. I swear my bobbies would make some sort of coffee product not milk. Maybe Coffee Crisp's? That would Rawk!



Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Is that how you spell cappachino? this is my longest post ever, at 1,349 words

10:26 PM, March 27, 2007  
Anonymous squirrel said...

Wow you POOR thing those frostbitten nipples had to have hurt really really bad!

Sorry to hear about losing the twin, but I know what you mean about not missing what you never knew existed until it was over. Maybe that was Gods way of helping you deal with the loss.

10:32 PM, March 27, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

K... uhm, where does JJ wearing the dress fit into this? Or, did I miss that part?

And, wow... thats a hell of a story. I'm kinda up in the air on how to respond to it.

Also, I have no ideas on how to save your nipples come cold weather, but I'll keep thinking on it.

11:27 PM, March 27, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

It was indeed an epic tale...

4:15 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

Why did those two stories go together?

Now I definitely don't want kids.

6:29 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Monkee said...

First of all, and don't take this the wrong way, my nipples ache for you...On the other hand, maybe there isn't a right way to take that.

Second of all, three pushes? Good God woman, you're like the Ironman of labor and delivery!...hmmm, there may not be a right way to take that either.

Third of all, I holy subscribe to the idea of "what you don't know, can't hurt you" and don't feel the least bit guilty saying that I'm sooo glad you were lucky enough not to know about the twin and that Rainbow Man was born healthy and well.

6:48 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Squirrel could be .

Sheila that was the humor part. Sigh. I wonder what I did with it.

Mr fab *snort*

Avitable the day I frost bit the nips is the same day we lost the twin

Monkee In total for the three kids, its something like 11 pushes. i'd have to watch the video again to see how many with Stuperman.

7:08 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

JJ didnt wear the purple dress to the dog sled races did he? lol.

Your poor nips....better keep them warm Blue!

I am sorry about RM's twin. What you dont have you dont miss, and you werent expecting twins anyway, so I can understand that. You have such a healthy way of looking at things Blue...I love your attitude!

7:14 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

You miscarried the twin. Best you didn't know.

Poor boobies; don't have any ideas about keeping 'em warm. Move to Florida?

It's "cappuccino."

8:07 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger me said... lucky you were he was safe and sound. Isn't it wild how the body works? I went sky diving when I was 5 weeks pregnant for my youngest, I had no clue, I thought I was just lucky my period held off until after our trip to Bahamas. I was so worried when I got home and wonder he can't spell..too much rum and skydiving.

8:10 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Amy said...

You could sprinkle cayenne pepper in your bra... but, I think that would be kinda uncomfortable. Although, my husband says it is the best thing to put in your socks when you are out in the cold.

That was still a great story, although, a little sad, obviously, but I do completely get what you mean.

11:40 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

This was reported but it doesn't look as if they are for sale. You could make your own from a microwave gel hot water bottle. Or two.


12:29 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Catch Oh LOL NO! he put it on to tease me, I was eighty zillion months pregnant and disparing of ever fitting it again and he put it on to make me laugh! he didnt leave thehouse in it, he had it on for probably less then five minutes! hehe

Finn thanks for the proper spelling! I wonder why my spell check doesnt spell check the titles of posts??

Me wow lucky you! but skydiving? that sounds scary! and really, toth and tooth are very similar! LOL,

Amy Im glad it made sense to you. it was difficult to get written out. Its been so long.

Sans oh wow. those are cool!

12:57 PM, March 28, 2007  
Anonymous bice said...

When was the twin lost? Back at the tubing event or with the breaking of the sacs?

1:49 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Katherine said...

Wow! Damn woman, the situations you get in...frosbitten nipples? WTH knew that could happen? And, what is a toque??? I'm a big believer in what is meant to be, will be. I'm sure you didn't cause RM's twin to die because you went tubing. I would tell him he had a twin.

1:52 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Coffee Mom said...

your poor nipples...hey I have an idea, you could sew yourself an extra warm bra

2:03 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Bice tubing

Kathrine a touque is a hat to keep you warm.

Coffee Mom eh. effort. I like easy fixes. I have flannel inserts I made for when I have to be out for a long tim ein the winter

2:39 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

OMG that had to hurt. I know how my nipples felt when nursing the kids - cracked etc... But the burning? OUCHIE!!!

Three pushes? You should've had my kids for me...I pushed for what seemed like forever with Pan - and they finally went in after him, Tink was an automatic C-section...

4:50 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

I wouldn't tell Rainbow Man unless he specifically asks for details...some twins feel guilty for being the one that lived.

Have you seen those rice bags you can freeze or heat in the microwave? Make some shaped like the breast pads & stuff it - heh.

5:04 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Owwww. and Owwww...

I am sorry about RM's twin. It wasn't your fault for tubing. I hope you don't think that.

5:47 PM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I am glad the story had a happy ending, with the exception of losing the twin. RM must be a fighter! :)

8:32 AM, March 29, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

What a story!

Do they make electric bras? You know.. like the blankets, but for the Girls... as my Hubby calls em.

Pregnancy is so scary. I'm glad Rainbow Man is okay.

7:36 PM, March 29, 2007  

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