Now We Are All Out Of Bandaids
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
First of All, I should tell you that the title is a bit misleading since I found a secret stash of band aids in a box of tampons. Stuperman went through a stage where he would sneak off and use a whole box of band aids on himself, without first attaining a suitable blood letting injury. I must have hid some for a rainy day and forgot about it. I think that falls under the "useless information" category that my English teacher would circle in red while marking all of my high school essays, eh?
Lets warm up to this story with some simple math, mmk?
THIS 
PLUS
PLUSTHIS* 
EQUALS
EQUALSTHIS
&
THAT
*If it has wheels, All of my children, (the baby included) wear a helmet. And I don't give a rats ass if you think it is dorky! I like their brains just the way they are. Slimy and twisted!
&
THATOhhhh! You are such a smarty pants! So many hands already up in the air at the first part of the equation shouting out the answer! I am so proud. You all get gold stars. Except for you in the back. Still a little confused?
What do I have to do? Spell Type it out for you?
Fine.
Two years ago, Rainbow Man Got this electric powered Honda Mini Bike for Christmas from his doting Aunt and Uncle. It's top speed is somewhere in the range of ten klicks an hour, seems safe enough.
Being an over protective momma, I hadn't let RM on the bike yet - except for that time I went for coffee and his daddy put him on the bike the second the car backed out the driveway. Reluctantly, Jittery Joe agreed RM was too small for it when he realised that Rainbow Man could reach the throttle but not the brakes. At least he was on grass that time..
This week, we took it out and gave him the key. The bike is ridiculously small on him now. Kind of cute, but kind of retarded looking, but he likes it.
Yesterday I asked The Husband why the bike was bouncing around all over the place. He said that the tires must be a wee bit low and that he would fill them up.
Until this point, RM would have the throttle full out and the baby could run faster then him. I was applauding myself on yet another example of great parenting. How can a bike, motorized or not be dangerous when a two year old can out run it?
And then the tires were filled.
It goes just a tad bit faster when there is air in the tires. I didn't realise this, and JJ didn't think to mention it to Rainbow Man. Off he goes down the street, pushing the throttle ALL the way down... all of a sudden** rainbow Man realises he has no control of the bike, and panics.
Ass over tea kettle - and the president has been shot - oh the humanity- this is a sad sad day in the history of man.
What you should learn form this :
Round things like air and will reward you with speed.
Polysporin and pirate band aids are a mom's best friend.
So are Popsicles. . . have I said that before?
What do I have to do?
Fine.
Two years ago, Rainbow Man Got this electric powered Honda Mini Bike for Christmas from his doting Aunt and Uncle. It's top speed is somewhere in the range of ten klicks an hour, seems safe enough.
Being an over protective momma, I hadn't let RM on the bike yet - except for that time I went for coffee and his daddy put him on the bike the second the car backed out the driveway. Reluctantly, Jittery Joe agreed RM was too small for it when he realised that Rainbow Man could reach the throttle but not the brakes. At least he was on grass that time..
This week, we took it out and gave him the key. The bike is ridiculously small on him now. Kind of cute, but kind of retarded looking, but he likes it.
Yesterday I asked The Husband why the bike was bouncing around all over the place. He said that the tires must be a wee bit low and that he would fill them up.
Until this point, RM would have the throttle full out and the baby could run faster then him. I was applauding myself on yet another example of great parenting. How can a bike, motorized or not be dangerous when a two year old can out run it?
And then the tires were filled.
It goes just a tad bit faster when there is air in the tires. I didn't realise this, and JJ didn't think to mention it to Rainbow Man. Off he goes down the street, pushing the throttle ALL the way down... all of a sudden** rainbow Man realises he has no control of the bike, and panics.
Ass over tea kettle - and the president has been shot - oh the humanity- this is a sad sad day in the history of man.
What you should learn form this :
Round things like air and will reward you with speed.
Polysporin and pirate band aids are a mom's best friend.
So are Popsicles. . . have I said that before?
**I really wish I had it on camera, because it was really awesome... uhm ..in a terrifying OMG that's MY kid flying through the air kinda way..
~~~~~~~~
Oh, and here is a photo of Stupermans first Sunburn of the year. I say first because he is very very fair and tends to burn even when I DO remember the sunscreen.
Labels: I'm Important Too, Pictures
posted by Bluepaintred @ 11:03:00 PM
22 Comments:
yah!!!! I'm first...sorry about the sunburn...looks painful.
But all will be fine, cuz I'm first.
RoxDar
I like the 'useless information' category. You should use that category more often.
I think its very wise of you to put a helmet on your boys! Watching that wipe-out would of made my heart skip a couple beats!
And, sunburns completely suck! Poor kid!
why the hell am I second? Second is the new first! ;)
Have you sold the bike yet? I agree with you on the wear helmets if it has wheels thing. In the paper several years ago, there was a little girl who was riding her bike. She tipped over and bumped her head on the curb. By the time they got her to the hospital, she was dead. She had a subdural hematoma, which is a fancy way of saying that her brain was bruised and swollen. Too swollen for her to survive. From falling off of her bike. There are so many things you can do to try to prevent these things, you might as well because there are so many things that you can't prevent.
Sorry. Did that sound preachy? I didn't mean to.
RoxDar so I kind of get the feeling you just come to my blawg to be first. And here I thought you loved me!
Sheila I am a very very wise person!
Shelli nope we havent sold it and arent. im darn proud that he got back on it and drove it back to the garage for wound washing!
helmets are not a law where we are, and the kids get a fair amount of teasing for wearing them. it took me letting the air out of all the bikes for them to realise I was serious about the helmet rule.
and no you dont sound preachy!
What did you do to my son! Damn it, woman!
I think Rainbow Man needs elbow and shoulder pads.
Oh, poor baby. I hope his smile is back.
And I buy sunscreen in the 5 gallon economy bottle with the pump spigot. My kids fry. And then freckle and fry some more.
Ouch!! Helmets are a great idea. Dorkier the better (for us parents to laugh at).
When helmets first became law here (in Ontario) people would carry them on their handle bars in case the police came by - at least it was accessible.
Now they have BMX type helmets and the kids think they're awesome!
Glad he's alright!!
Proper inflation = speed. That's the more important math, right?
grandpa says to slow down but keep on riding love you use the sunscreen
ouch ouch ouch.......but what fun!!!! And who could resist? Ive got a few motorcycle marks myself...and Im glad you make them wear a helmet! Smart thinking Blue...you are one intelligent cookie! But we already knew that ;))
Blue: Helmets are good. Sunburns are bad. We're all fair at my house too and go through a lot of sunscreen. A secret stash of bandaids is genius. I need one of those.
Well a scraped elbow is better than muffler burn scars on the inside of your calves. I have many of those. And when we were kids we never worn helmets with our motorbikes; and that should be enough of an example as to why you SHOULD. LOL.. You could have him wear elbow pads, or a cool leather Harley Davison jacket.. totally your call.
I you thinking I love your blog more than I love you? Silly silly Girl.
RoxDar
That must have been exciting. It is such a boy thing, too!
Helmets are a good thing. It is law in California, bikes for those under 18, and motorcycles any age.
Helmets are always a good thing! My grandson has a little motorcycle...HATE.THEM. But that's just me.
As ET said...ouch.
Mr.Fab well i sent him outside to play in the wading pool and eat popsicles. I didnt tell him to get sunburnt. Sigh. when is my child support coming?
One Tall Momma You can buy five gallons of sunscreen? Way cool!
S@m I actually want to take him in and get him fitted for a good helmet. Im not 100% sure the one he wears right now fits him as well as it should..
Avitable But. How would i take pictures of that?
Grandpa/Dad yea I will make sure he uses sunscreen, and he has already been back on the bike. he rode it home, blood running down his leg :o)
Catch I think I would rather be a chocolate chip cooke than a smart one. Wait NO! I changed my mind! Can I be a ginger snap?
Marilyn I have heard that because I have all boys I can Hide all sorts of things in my tampon box and the children will never find it!
RoxDar "I you thinking I love your blog more than I love you? Silly silly Girl." huh? Say again?
Lynda Helmets should be law world wide. Its such a simple thing. I mean in canada you cannot take your baby out of the hospital without a carseat, so you should not be able to buy a bike without a helmet!
Tug I hated it two years ago when he got it but now he is big enough for it, plus we moved from a busy city to a small town.
Finn ET also said Phone Home, but that doesnt mean RM can have a cell phone!
I call you more than I comment on your blog...draw your own conclusion...Silly silly girl.
RoxDar
Dang, what a clever place to hide the bandaids! Have to remember that hiding place for important things like chocolate. Husband would never think to look there. Glad the kid wasn't seriously hurt!
RoxDar Yea but when you call you always ask to speak to my blog...
Katherine mmmmm chocolate on a string... I doubt it would be very absorbent plus, that's a guaranteed yeast infection right thar!
Ouch on the sunburn - I totally understand how the little guy feels.
Helmet = great idea
Filling tires with air - not such a great idea.
Ouch - that's some nasty road rash...he'd gotta be soo proud!
ouch! that looks really painful!!! poor kid!
It is awesome that he got back on it. That question was tongue in cheek. I would have beat the bike up if it hurt my baby. lol I did, after all, throw away the flip flops that caused the accident that mangled Belley's head.
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