Oh sweetie, If I knew how hard your daddy was gonna spank you, Or how long your Momma was gonna yell, I swear, I SWEAR, I would never have made you tell them what happened. I'm so sorry little man.
Sure, smashing your bike into Blue Boy's bike, while he was on it, and trashing his training wheels 'cus "training wheels are for babies" was mean, but you're just a little boy!
When you saw the plastic bits littering the road, you said sorry right away. You hugged Blue Boy when he cried. I thought you were going to cry too. You might think you are a big guy, but you are only five, just a few months older than Blue Boy is.
No child - fuck that - no person deserves to be talked to like that! And there is never anything a child can do that deserves a spanking like the one you got.
If I knew you were going to get into that much trouble, I would have looked the other way.
I'm so SO Sorry.
Come by tomorrow and I will give you a Popsicle;
Your Very Mean Neighbour Lady Who Couldn't Take Five Seconds To Think Before She Acted.
Pee Ess: Ethan, If I EVER hear your daddy hit you like that again, I will call the cops on his ass so fast his head will spin! This is a promise I make to you.
Family Draaaaama Update: My brother just got arrested. Now the shit be hittin' the fan peoples!
Labels: I'm Important Too