I gots Ideas from youz!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Yesterday I asked for blog post ideas and y'all came through with a blast! That's a lot to choose from people!

(START - 10:59 pm my time. I deliberately did not check comments until just before opening this window - sorry for not responding!)

I was tempted to start with the easy ones and get them out of the way but that would leave me with all the hard ones at the end So I asked Jittery Joe to pick a number. He picked seven which is:

Sheila said...

Why is the cat in the dish washer again?
I love to eat turnips, but you know what they do to me...
Don't you pick your nose to scratch your ears, too?
I have never seen a bug come out of there before!

7:33 AM, April 26, 2007


Trust my pal Sheila to have multiple strings going at the same time! Here we go! I shouldn't have to point out that the following story is not true! Any similarities to real bloggers is coincidental and not intended by the author. *muah!*

(All linkage is just to prove I know how to link. It doesn't mena a damn thing. Stop looking at me liek that!)




EXCITEMENT! Finally I was going to meet some bloggers! I'm kind of nervous. I mean really. they could all be serial puppy killers, what do I know of them but from their daily addiction to the web?

I dressed with care - Fine, Fuck you, With comfort in mind. What If I had to run to escape the weird ass bloggers? I didn't want to be tugging my thong and cursing high heels!

We were to meet at a coffee shop. This was my idea and a great one indeed! Cus, hello? Coffee! World peace could be achieved with coffee! (I would have also accepted chocolate or strawberry bubble bath)

The place was busy. Would I know them when I see them? Would they know me? Should I have sent out a more recent photo. Or waited to dye my hair neon pink? Which totally rocks by the way. I'm thinking of getting the ends dipped in electric blue, whattaya think?



OH! I think that's them! ohmigawd! Its Mr.Baf! Wow. His..personality.. is much bigger in real life!

Turns out no puppies were killed at all during our visit. Sigh. I was really hoping for a new fur cuff. Whatever. Did you know that when Mr.Baf eats turnips his face gets really really red? I was a bit nervous when steam started coming out of his ears, but after he manually adjusted the crank in his pants, and the steam dissipated, all was well.

I told him he should get it checked by a reputable doctor, but he told me that his butt is still beeping on the hour, and for three minutes every morning at seven, from his last doctors exam. I understand his hesitation to go back!

Only one of the bloggers was late meeting us, but it was hilarious. I should have brought my camera! She completely covered in soap and cat hair. She tired to tell us her granddaughter Elleb had put the cat in the dishwasher, but knowing her as I do from her blog, it was quite easy to read between the lines and understand that the cat, her, and large kumquat had been engaged in some pretty kinky activities and she lost track of time.

It's too bad she didn't think to invite me, I have a box full of over ripe kiwi in the back of my car. Sure the seeds are a bitch to get out of tight places, but they are so fun to squeeze!

My friend Aliehs came too. Unlike Illehs, she wasn't preoccupied with cat tails and was on time. She brought her hottie boyfriend too! That was a bonus because we didn't know he was coming. It was a bit weird meeting Mot. He is in a wheelchair, - that's not weird, my sister is in one too, but she has lots of XXX bumper stickers on hers - Mot kept picking Aliehs' nose and then stuffing the boogers in his ear. He would just reach across, shove his finger in, root around and pull out. It was like Aliehs didn't even notice. I'm not sure she will be invited to another blogger meet, even if her BF is hawt!

I know for a fact all those bastards bloggers will be typing at the speed of light to tell all thier minions what happened to me, so I want to get my version (the truth) out!

The worst moment came just half hour into our meet. I was on my sixteenth cup of coffee, - everyone else was still adding their various creams and sugars, - and just as I leaned over to grab my purse out from under my chair - I had the cutest pictures of my brats having a "cock" fight between the snakes and our cat - Oh god, this is hard.

As I leaned forward, in complete view of everyone there, a bug crawled out from under the edge of my skirt. At first I figured I could just swat it and everyone would think it was just some random bug.

That idea was squashed when it crawled onto the table carrying my tampon. Mr. Baf fainted - after wetting himself - and Aliehs screamed and said "I have never seen a bug come out of there before!" while standing on her chair. Illehs just kept picking the cat hair out of her teeth. It was horrible.

I told them that I was getting some work done,. The bugs were the construction crew just getting the site ready for the interior decorator I was meeting later that day.

I don't think they believed me...

(END - 11:30PM my time)

(I will not be prefacing my future blogger ideas with a disclaimer, simply their comment quote and a link - the disclaimer still applies)


Labels: ,

15 Comments:

Blogger Sheila said...

This was flippin' hilarious!

And, I'm FIIIIIIIIIIRST!

1:22 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Shelia is always first. I'm gonna have to take her out.

4:16 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

Very nice! That Baf is crazy, isn't he?

6:33 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Monkee said...

"Sure the seeds are a bitch to get out of tight places, but they are so fun to squeeze!"

This is a mental image that I will never, ever, recover from. Thank you.

7:01 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

I don't know who's crazier, you for Baf.

8:19 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

lmao! nice job, blue!

8:35 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Fab is taking me out? Like, to dinner and a movie? What should I wear? Should I get my hair done? Geeez, I'm so excited, but nervous! ;)

9:55 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

BTW - Tom tried picking my nose last night... this is your fault.

10:01 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Coffee Mom said...

LOL, that was awsome.

11:56 AM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila you take your BPR firstie badge seriously, dont ya? get it? Seriously??? Im so funny

Mr Baf..uh Fab NO! You will not lay one finger on her. That is an order mister!

Avitable Sigh. im glad I don't know that kind of crazy person IRL lol

Monkee Im sorry. Maybe a trip to the grocery store and a pair of tweezers would help?

Finn I choose me.

MizWeb thank you

Sheila Uhm. I think he ment kill you, not steak and wine...

Sheila really? where on earth ddid he get that idea?

CoffeeMom I usually am LMAO

12:00 PM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Fab wants to kill me?

Hm. Still, should I get my hair done?

12:10 PM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila Best bet is to get your hair done, and wear something pretty, then bribe him with something sweet. he is diabetic, soon he will fall into a coma and you can escape!

12:48 PM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Any post that needs a disclaimer at the start...or the start of the series, has to be good!

1:05 PM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

marilyn Just covering my ass from hate mail LOL

1:15 PM, April 27, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Did you know that our cat, Libby, broke her leg in the dishwasher when she was just 7 months old? True story.

6:32 PM, April 27, 2007  

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