I honestly think men should not be allowed to speak without the presence of a lawyer.
We were sitting in Edmond the Tax Dudes' little waiting nook when Jittery Joe stuck his hand in his pocket. I knew what was coming. I think this is something all men do when they are bored. It still doesn't make it right.
Coin Jingling. I hate it. You hate it.
They give me the *shivers*
So, his hands shaking furiously up and down in his pocket, He says "I must have more then ten dollars in here. I wonder where it all comes from."
In a desperate attempt to stop The Husband from feeling up his coins in a public place, I said "Well dear. After hooking up at a local register, they head to the nearest, and seediest pockets they can find. There, two pennies will fall in love. The product of this union is called a nickle."
"And the dime?" He asks, eyebrow cocked, hand still pumping away in his pants. I went through the denominations of coin currency, one by one. The penny begot the nickle, the nickle begot the dime, the dime the quarter and so on. I was getting really into my explanations.
For example. Here in Canada we have various animals on our coins. On the nickle, we have the beaver. I explained how sometimes two women fall in love. How they bump beavers to have fun. And then, when they were sure they were in a committed relationship, they go to the piggy bank and are inseminated with coinage. Thus the nickle births the dime.
I am having moderate success with this distraction. His hand has slowed from a fast jerking motion to a slow, rolling motion in his jeans.
And then he has to ruin yet another perfectly good
"Two pennies can't make a nickle. You have to start with the larger coins, because that's where the smaller ones come from. Five nickles to a quarter, twins for a dime. Like that. The way you are telling it, you end up with negative amounts. Then you have to deal with the ..." As his hand resumes its furious pace.
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