It's the little things that matter

Friday, April 20, 2007

I always is like to think the of the worst possible thing that can happen in any situation.

Being hit by a train while swimming for example. Or having a speck of dust fly up and lodge itself in my belly button and burn its way through my body down to my toes while trying on a new pair of Capri's.

Some people think this is strange. I do not, because when you are expecting an octopus to leap out of the sewer and drag you under to his deep dark lair to make octo-babies with you, It makes your day So. Much. Better. when you manage to walk across the street unscathed.

I try to instill this wonderful characteristic in my children at times.

For example. With no clue what to get Blue Boy, we guessed and bought a bunch of random crap. I figured If I could make him think that something stupid was his gift, when he opened the actual toys, he would be over the moon.

I gots good logiks, huh?

I told him his present was in a bag on the table. His little face lit with glee as he raced to peek in the bag.

Can I open it? he asked, sounding doubtful.

Yeah. Here. I said as I dumped the bags' contents on the table. A roll of scotch tape and a package of dry erase markers.

Fully expecting confusion, anger, tears even, I was a little shocked when he looked up at me as if I had told him here's a million bucks, go buy candy!!

Is this fo' really my tape? He screamed, clutching it to his chest, knuckles white with the death grip he had on it.

Clearly, we need to take all this crap* back and get another roll...

* Individual photos, ones where I actually tell you what all of this crap is, can be found at Paint!
And over at the Photo Blog, I have photo proof of the difference between boys and girls.

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Blogger Sheila said...

One year, my older brother and I bought my baby sister shampoo and laundry detergent for her birthday. I'd say she was 7 years old? She did not get the humor in the situation, although my brother and I laughed until we cried. Then our mother made us give her the real presents...

11:25 PM, April 19, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

ooooh, and super-de-duper, I was first! (I didn't want to jinx myself incase RoxDar was commenting at the same time I was!) :D

11:26 PM, April 19, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh man, I want some tape! How come he gots all the tape?

3:33 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

Tape is an awesome gift.

6:07 AM, April 20, 2007  
Anonymous Slick said...

My daughter used to love the discarded boxes and such. Children are weird.

Looks like Blue Boy racked up! Can I have my next birthday party at your house?

6:26 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Wow he has some nice gifts there! But ya know Blue...all kids like their very own tape! lol

7:10 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I remember when I got my first tape. Ah, the memories! It was the best day.

7:35 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

But was it invisible tape? I once worked with a guy (no shit) that couldn't find the tape in the supply closet. When I pointed it out to him he said "Oh, I couldn't see it because it's invisible tape".


My interview is done!

7:53 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger New York City's Watchdog said...

It's always the simplest things that please us... really... which is why Scotch Magic Transparent Tape is always at the top of my Wishlist.

8:09 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

Was it Magic Tape or just ordinary tape? Or maybe painter's tape? Double sided?

Who knew he was such a cheap date?

8:22 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger J. said...

OMG that is way too freakin' cute.

8:58 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Monkee said...

You know what? Now that I think about it, I think I would have loved to get tape as a present when I was a kid. Tape, white out, post it notes, and binder clips. All the stuff that I used to get in trouble for wasting. =)

10:03 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Nobody™ said...

I wondered where the hell my tape went.

10:37 AM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila I see the humor in it. Wonder why she didn't... you mom is a kill joy

Sheila LMAO he was at work last night. tonight she is on a date, (YAAAAY!!1!) and she works tommorrow night.

Mr.Fab this from the man who spent time in jail for felony lemure taping?

Avitable duct tape = silence. WORD!

Slick You betcha!

Catch he goes through tape like a fish goes through water!

Lynda HAH blue Boy says that a lot! " this is my bestest day ever!"

Tug LMAO it is scotch 600 transparent tape. but there is a plain red cover on it so it's pretty easy to see!

Dawg Really really? thats funny!

Finn just ordinary clear scotch tape. good for presents ect.

J. had I known he was going to react like that I would have had the camera ready.

Monkee see, when I was a kid, my favorite plaything was fire...

Nobody Sorry about that, but I needed it!

1:36 PM, April 20, 2007  
Anonymous mac said...

That's a kid for you. Buy 'em an expense gift and they will throw it aside and play with the box it came in. I've seen that one first hand myself and never bought my kids expense gifts again till their teen years.

2:14 PM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Katherine said...

Oh shut up! That is too damn funny. You could really make his day by giving him a little more variety. You know, some electrical tape, maybe some masking tape, just to shake things up.

2:25 PM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Mac oh trust me, none of those things (witht he exception of the chalkboard - 24.95) was over 20 bucks. in fact three of them were under five.

kathrine HAH my mother in law buys red and blue and black electrical tape and masking tape, every other tape you can imagine for them to play with. they come home with tape watches and tape pictures on their clothes. Sigh. they are tape-aholics!

2:49 PM, April 20, 2007  
Anonymous squirrel said...

I just love childrens birthdays I think I have more fun buying the presents than they do getting them!

3:23 PM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

... or getting ass-raped to death by the IRS ...

9:58 PM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Squirrel heh, thats what I love about christmas, and then I have to wait all teh way till teh 25h to see them open it. Sigh. Nawt Fair!

M.Snay EXACTLY! im stressin cus we do our taxes this sunday withte accountant. Sigh. I hate april!

10:08 PM, April 20, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

What is it about tape that kids find so damn fascinating? All my kids love to hoard the tape. Go buy some, I say. It's only a buck or so. Good Lord. They are going to be happy in life if that's all they expect.

10:40 PM, April 20, 2007  

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