I would like to point out that this morning, in search of a puzzle for Stuperman, I found, in his closet, his Easter Bunny, unopened, from last Easter. I let the boys eat it.
The following is a Sexual Meme. This should not be read by my Dad, or JJ's sister. Annnnd. Maybe Mother Marnee. Well ....MM can read it as long as she doesn't get all weird about it. I mean really. You have a new mattress.....
1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? Well, lets see, It has been 2007 for almost three months. I'm married to a man who has a healthy sexual appetite. DUH.
2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? What do you consider public? I have done it in the front seat of a car, as well as the back seat int eh industrial area of the city. It was at night so there were no witnesses, but for the huge bump I got on my head. DO NOT have sex in the back seat of a small car. Ever.
3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Yes. Because the machinations of sex are funny. Sometimes its so funny we have to stop and wait for our laughter to subside and then continue.
4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Uhm. I don't think so. But maybe. I know I have begged and pleaded.
5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? In the winter yes, but just for the warmth. In the summer, HELL NO!
6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Nope
7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Not that I recall.
8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? Either or. It really depends on the mood I am in.
9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yup. Lots of it. I'm gonna get me some unsafe sex tonight. I hope. Does it count when it was with the same guy?
10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Uh? you on crack? that's just wrong!
11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Nope.
12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? Yes once. One time our cat crawled in between us and laid down on my chest.
13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Yes. I don;t think you can watch porn and not have sex!
14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Not that I know of. I often wish JJ had a twin during though.
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKEN? Yes
16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? Just so you know I decided to do this meme JUST so I could answer this question.
In the first weeks of me and JJ dating, he wanted a Blow Job. Being kind of
I spit it right back on him and told him that that particular event will NEVER again happen in my mouth. And it hasn't.
17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? Gimme a sec, I will ask JJ. Eighteenish
18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? JJ. Right now. Deal or no Deal gets me all hot and bothered and I am counting the minutes till bed time.
19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? Well I will either have him or Big Red tonight. I'd prefer him.
20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? Uhm, have you been paying attention?
21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? take off the "s"
22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? In the front seat, yes. In the back seat, no.
23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? When I am in a good mood I do.
24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? EWWWWWWWWWW - I mean, no.
25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? Don't think so
26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD. Good
27. LINGERIE. Good five years ago, good next year. now? not so good.
28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? No. I do not work. Working is horrible. Getting dressed in the morning? AsFuckingIf!
29. WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX?
(x)dining room/kitchen table
(x)woods (open and/or in a tent)
()hood of a car
(x)the other person's bed
(x)in a house with parents home
(x)at a party
()on top of the washer/dryer
()with other people in the room
()bookstore stock room.
So who's brave enough?