Because I Like Inappropriate Things, A Meme

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I would like to point out that this morning, in search of a puzzle for Stuperman, I found, in his closet, his Easter Bunny, unopened, from last Easter. I let the boys eat it.

The following is a Sexual Meme. This should not be read by my Dad, or JJ's sister. Annnnd. Maybe Mother Marnee. Well ....MM can read it as long as she doesn't get all weird about it. I mean really. You have a new mattress.....

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? Well, lets see, It has been 2007 for almost three months. I'm married to a man who has a healthy sexual appetite. DUH.

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? What do you consider public? I have done it in the front seat of a car, as well as the back seat int eh industrial area of the city. It was at night so there were no witnesses, but for the huge bump I got on my head. DO NOT have sex in the back seat of a small car. Ever.


3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Yes. Because the machinations of sex are funny. Sometimes its so funny we have to stop and wait for our laughter to subside and then continue.

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Uhm. I don't think so. But maybe. I know I have begged and pleaded.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? In the winter yes, but just for the warmth. In the summer, HELL NO!


6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Nope

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Not that I recall.

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? Either or. It really depends on the mood I am in.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Yup. Lots of it. I'm gonna get me some unsafe sex tonight. I hope. Does it count when it was with the same guy?

10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Uh? you on crack? that's just wrong!

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Nope.

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? Yes once. One time our cat crawled in between us and laid down on my chest.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? Yes. I don;t think you can watch porn and not have sex!

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Not that I know of. I often wish JJ had a twin during though.

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKEN? Yes


16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
Just so you know I decided to do this meme JUST so I could answer this question.

In the first weeks of me and JJ dating, he wanted a Blow Job. Being kind of innocent Stupid, but wanting to reciprocate I took aside one of my friends and asked her how to get the job done, and done well. She told me all about the tongue movements, teeth - but not too much, and all sorts of other goodies. She did not mention the end product of a Blow Job is cum. It didn't occur to me either.

I spit it right back on him and told him that that particular event will NEVER again happen in my mouth. And it hasn't.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? Gimme a sec, I will ask JJ. Eighteenish

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? JJ. Right now. Deal or no Deal gets me all hot and bothered and I am counting the minutes till bed time.

19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? Well I will either have him or Big Red tonight. I'd prefer him.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? Uhm, have you been paying attention?

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? take off the "s"

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? In the front seat, yes. In the back seat, no.

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? When I am in a good mood I do.

24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? EWWWWWWWWWW - I mean, no.

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? Don't think so

26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD. Good

27. LINGERIE. Good five years ago, good next year. now? not so good.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? No. I do not work. Working is horrible. Getting dressed in the morning? AsFuckingIf!


29. WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX?
()park
()church
()cemetery
()beach
()boat
()school
(x)parent's bed
(x)your bed
(x)car
()picnic table
(x)kitchen counter
(x)couch/chair
(x)dining room/kitchen table
(x)woods (open and/or in a tent)
()hood of a car
(x)bathroom
(x)shower
(x)bathtub
(x)the other person's bed
(x)porch/deck/balcony
(x)in a house with parents home
(x)at a party
()on top of the washer/dryer
()with other people in the room
()hotel

()concert
()grandparent's house
()field
()bleachers
()bookstore stock room.
(x) Linen closet

So who's brave enough?

{crickets}

Labels: ,

25 Comments:

Blogger Curiosity.Killer said...

I like your meme and your answers. I'll have to wait for a really bored day to do this meme cause it's going to take a lot of balls for me to answer truthfully. But I'll keep it on reserve. That day shall come. LOL

12:06 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I told you. When the wind blows LOL

4:25 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

Nice. You should have forcibly tagged people, though.

6:52 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? I must be getting SO old....NO

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? YES

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? yes, we broke his glasses. ( no, he didnt have them on!)


4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
NO

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? ALWAYS


6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? YES

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? NO

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? STFU

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX?
YES
10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? HELL NO

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? NADA

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? NO WAY


13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
WHO HAS TIME TO WATCH ANYTHING?

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? YES
15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKEN? YES


16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? ONE TIME WE FELL OUT OF THE BED...LOL


17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 16

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? TC

19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? ?

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? NOPE...GOING TO WORK

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? 5 OR 6

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? IT CAN BE INTERESTING

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? WHEN I HAVE TO


24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIEND'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER?
YES
26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD.? GOOD

27. LINGERIE. NO.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? NO


29. WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX?

(X)park
()church
()cemetery
()beach
(x)boat
()school
(x)parent's bed
(x)your bed
(x)car
()picnic table
(X)kitchen counter
(x)couch/chair
()dining room/kitchen table
(x)woods (open and/or in a tent)
(X)hood of a car
(x)bathroom
(x)shower
(x)bathtub
(x)the other person's bed
(x)porch/deck/balcony
(x)in a house with parents home
(x)at a party
()on top of the washer/dryer
()with other people in the room
(X)hotel
()concert
(X)grandparent's house
(X)field
()bleachers
()bookstore stock room.

() Linen closet

So who's brave enough?

6:57 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Curiosity.Killer Lol I layed in bed last night wondering if I should quickly get up and delete this thing. Then I realised with bloglines, it doesnt matter If I delete cus anyone on bloglines would have seen it already

Mr.Fab I swear to god Fab. Watch deal or no deal. I dare you! You cannot come away from that show without getting a chubby. I TYPED deal or no deal and got hawt.


Avaitable So.. Does it count if I go back and say you are tagged? Do you read comments? How many fingers am I holding up?

Catch Wow. you got guts! Thanks for playingalong! You rawk!

8:04 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

You're holding up one finger. I might do this one later.

8:19 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger onetallmomma said...

Oh man, you are so funny. And no, I am not brave enough. Plus, my kids read my blog and as I am on a grand passionate high right now...welll..I'll have to pass.

8:49 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

You funny.

And chocolate for breakfast? You are the best. mom. ever. ;)

Not going to do this right now; it would be too pathetic. :(

8:57 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Monkee said...

A linen closet? That just sounds like a bad/painful idea. Now, the woods sound like fun. Maybe it's time for The Husband and I to take up camping. =)

P.S. I almost forgot to link again, but I just barely noticed. =)

9:09 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

wait, maybe I read this wrong, but is your husband seriously the only sexual partner you've had?

9:38 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Avitable oh you are good but i wasnt holding up any fingers, I was typing the comment MUahhahah

OneTall well they dont read my blog LOL

Finn isnt it against the law for chocolate to be wasted though?

Monkee Ok truth be told i added the linin closet to the list. And we were trying to put the drywall up in it. there were no shelves in it yet. Drywall is very sexy you know.

WebMiz Is that a weird thing? Sigh. I know. Im odd.

11:45 AM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Ahhh...great answers. Small cars suck!

12:08 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Ole Blue The only thing a small car is good for is parking. I want my next vehicle to be wither a van or an SUV

12:48 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Katherine said...

I loved your #16 story!! I also think anyone who hasn't laughed during sex must be too damn uptight.

2:46 PM, March 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you forgot to add grandparent's house

~Jittery Joe~

4:44 PM, March 20, 2007  
Anonymous squirrel said...

Sorry my kids read mine too. My daughter would die it I posted this one! LOL

6:20 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Kathrine well really. the first time you did the deed did YOU expect that outcome?

JJ OMG he speaks!

Squirrel Heh. that would be funny. Im waiting for the day that my kid grows up and reads this.

6:39 PM, March 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no, i'm typing, not speaking.

~Jittery Joe~

6:44 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

I'll have to do this one some day...you CAN go on the past, right?

AND SPEAKING OF DUCKS...(heh). Shout out to YOU at my place!!

7:32 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I'm not doing this one...well maybe, nah....nope, not gonna do it.

8:19 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

JJ nope i clearly heard you say "Hey blue, you forgot to mark grandparents house." and I said "oh well" and then you typed it. but first you speaked it!

Fantastagirl Wimp! lol

Tug OH! A duck in a box! awesome. took a long time, eh?

8:27 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Amy said...

I am SO going to steal this one!

9:24 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Amy Cant wait to come over for coffee and read it! you will have coffee ready this time, right?

9:38 PM, March 20, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

I can't do this one for obvious reasons. But, yours was interesting.

7:26 AM, March 21, 2007  
Anonymous rachel said...

I'll do it but if my mom reads it and dies I'll cry

3:01 PM, March 21, 2007  

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