Does your DNA match the semen inside Heather?*

Thursday, February 22, 2007

**********For Tug**********
*****I Heart Penis*****

Today is my Step Mother's birthday. I haven't a clue how old she is. I'm gonna guess 44 and hope I'm not guessing high cus she will hit me. Hard.

Yesterday was my sister-in-laws birthday (HI PAM). I need cake.

I love cake.

Tomorrow is going to be so busy. I hate being busy. Doing..stuff. I hate that. Stupid dishes. And broom. Why do I even need a broom? It's not like the cheerios on the floor have an expiration date..right? I like my jammies and coffee and fuzzy cat-chewed slippers.

But whatever. Eye on the prize people. Cake. last night some fucktard had the nerve to call me during Deal or no Deal. Pisses me off. The only damn TV I watch and they just happen to call me during? Bitch slap waiting to happen I tell ya.

So then they offered me 150 bux MORE then I was asking for my snakes. Fine, I forgive them. But now we have to drive the girls down to the city tomorrow and then get ready to drive back the opposite way to my dads for Cake. This definitely falls under the category of stuff.

Icky work-like stuff. I'm probably going to have to put pants on before two.

Whatever.

And, AND, now Mother Nature is fucking with me. She's really picking my buns! Scraping my seseme seeds One By One.

There is a winter storm warning in effect which is busy wreaking havoc with my plans. Speaking of plans. It suddenly occurred to me that I will actually have to pack clothes and shit for the kids. Go figure. I'm gonna make the brats earn their keep and pack for themselves, I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

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* I was wondering what to use for a title when this line was said on TV. Good 'nuff.

Labels:

35 Comments:

Blogger Tug said...

numero uno?

10:12 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

And no golden dicks. **sigh**

10:12 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

HAT.TRICK.

10:13 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

;-) Back atcha' Blueness. Have your cake, & yes, eat it too. My "kids" (daughter, SIL & grandkids) are coming up this weekend. We've had 50's this week, supposed to get 30's & more snow Saturday. AND the doodlebops. AND Chucky Cheeze.

Have a good weekend!!!

QUADRO (is that 4?)

10:15 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug Yes, yes you are number one. did you want a gold star?

Tug Oh, my bad , you wanted a gold dick.

Tug It's up. are you looking? Do the balls seem saggy baggy to you?
Nice veins deffinition tho. Im a bit WTF about the wings, truthfully.

Tug Cake? I love cake. Mmmm. Cake
I have no idea if quadro is four or not, but i feel like mr fab. And so long as Im not feeling UP mr fab, all is good. Continue with the multiple comments this pleases me.

besides i needa get off my ass, I havnt DDR'd in four days

*shame*

10:53 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

I was gonna put a link to your site under my favorite bloggers, but my dad reads my blog and I can just imagine his face should he click on the link and see the lovely golden statue of a winged penis.

Why do you suppose they gave it wings? I used to have an origami folding pattern for a winged penis. I never did fold it. Not that talented.

Marilyn

11:14 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Marilyn LMAO LOL.thats ok.. so long as you keep coming back!
As for the wings i was thinking it was a play on words. this yuear is the year of the pic for the chinese. Maybe this was done as a spoof for the year of the Cock. you know, the rooster..hence the wings?

Pee Ess: My daddy reads my blog too, but I am pretty sure that there are some days he wishes he doesn't

12:07 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

Get with the programme, they are not wings, they're handles.

3:51 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

LMAO at the cartoon.

Boy, first Shelli, now you...is EVERYONE in a bad mood today?

5:01 AM, February 23, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did I tell u you're my favourite? 44?-Gotta luv it-by the way-I'm too damn old to hit that hard, and you're too smart to have a war of wits with-bring the kid's snow stuff so we can play outside this week end or they can play and u can use the new sewing machine!!

MM44LMAO

6:21 AM, February 23, 2007  
Anonymous Monkee said...

It's an angel penis. Duh, people. =)

7:19 AM, February 23, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice pic. I should use it as my screen saver at work. Thanks for the b'day card and greeting....I had cake and more cake and then apple pie and then white chocolate brownies.....ummmmm
Enjoy the weekend. S-I-Law
P.S. the pic of JJ was awesome, I so remember those days!!!!

7:37 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

Well, well. You have quite the potpourri of topics in this post, don't you?

7:49 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sans Oh handles, DUH, my bad.

Mr.Fab lets get this right, first me , then Shelli, I had my damn post up first. Sheesh!

MM ok then... 47? I mena last week didnt you tell me? it is in teh fortys though i do remember that!

Monkee Aren't they all angels?

SisInLaw You know I really thought hard about putting up a picture of you at that age, and JJ was all about some arrogent worms birthday song video I had to post for you. le sigh

Also I am making cake in about an hour

Blogarita Hey, you can be honest here at BPR we all know your favorite blogger that begins with an S and ends with an I is SbluepaintredI...

8:00 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

THIS JUST IN

Rainbow man: Why does that penis have wings? Did it die? Is it going to heaven?

8:15 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

Well, at least the penis is pointing in the right direction...

8:58 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

Oh, and there's CAKE.

8:58 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

Penises (??) are HEAVENLY...

or so I've heard.

I don't really remember.

;-(

LOVE IT, THANKS BLUE!!!!!

(Suppose I could print it & hang it by my desk??)

9:00 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

oh, and WTF with the SNAKES? Seriously?? REAL ones??????????

9:04 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

and yes, the balls are saggy. ;-) I'm done now. probably.

9:26 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Finn There is a right direction?
hmm. This will need researching.

Finn Cake is in the oven righ tnow. it comes out in 20 minutes. I am SO on the ball

Tug I think you Should print and hang it tug. To do any less, well its sacralidge...

Tug LOL yes real snakes, snakes in a mother fuckin tank, sugar and spice,girls, about 6-8 years old, just under five feet each. Sigh. If the roads arent closed this afternoon, they are leaving to their new home tonight. If you want, there are pictures of the girls in the photo blog as well, feeding videos on youtube. botrh are linked at the top of BPR's main page.

9:27 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug One would think that they would have used a better, more ..tight.. model for this casting. I wonder how you get the job as penis statue with wings model? I should apply for it.

9:29 AM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

you have a penis? hmmm...don't know if I really needed to know that. ;-)

FIVEFLIPPINGFEET? Excuse me while I go stroke out now.........

12:27 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

and how do you tell if they're girls or boys - no penis? OK, seriously sick now. going away.

12:28 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug If I told you the truth about my penis I would have to kill you. Im sorry, but its the rules.

Tug Five feet is nothing. its not huge. they are only about two inches around, they are just wittle. And you tell if they are girls by probing them LOL. Oh and the tail on a girl is really pointed at the tip and it is more blunt on a boy. Or uhm, the other way round. Anyways. when we got them, we were told they were girls, and since we havent had wee baby snakes, Im pretty suree the guy was right

Pee Ess tug 27 minutes of DDR from yor comments ALONE. there is too much hate in you. Let it go girl, let it go.

12:36 PM, February 23, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep a close eye on the road conditions....they're closing the highways all around the city now. So far the one from my house to yours is still open, but travel isn't advised. Several accidents reported. Be Careful!!!!
RoxDar

12:55 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

RoxDar Im getting nervous about Jitteryjoe being out there. He doesn't get off for another hour and half. How bad will roads be then? He is driving such a tiny car and H's mom said that the higways are really icy and the wind was shoving her car round. And she drives a big car.

Sigh.

Want me to email you when he gets home?

1:00 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

I'm here to help. It's all about spreading the LOVE..........

1:42 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug so are you going to massage my calves tonight?

2:20 PM, February 23, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hope he got home safe, I have to head out tonite to work, but hopefully I won't be there long. I don't know how the highways are, but the people calling into the radio station say it's not good.
RoxDar

4:24 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

You are a naughty, naughty girl.

I love cake, too. Especially the frosting part of the cake.

I thought you watched Smallville, too.

5:29 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Nobody™ said...

Just hit the pause button when when someone calls. That's what I do. Gotta love technology.

5:31 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger B said...

LOL- where the hell do you come up with this shit

thanks for the laugh- I had to look twice!

5:49 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Ive met a couple men who thought they had one of those golden dicks.....

11:38 PM, February 23, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

RoxDar uhm obviously, as i am writing this like a week later, he got home safe and sound.

Shelli Naughty? Me? wanna spank me then?

I do watch smallville every saturday night except now, its on re runs untill probably august, so i havent seen it in two weeks. Sigh

Nobody pause? On TV? do you have tivo or soemthing?

b I googled golden penis. I was , quite frankly, expecting to have to sift thru golden shower pics to find what I wanted, but it was the first photo up. Fate i tell ya!

Catch im pretty sure all men do

11:38 AM, February 26, 2007  

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