Day One

Friday, June 15, 2007

For just a moment this morning, I thought, Just One More. Just one more say good bye. Then I remembered the x-ray of my lungs hanging up on his back-lit clipboard and picked up the box of Nicotine Patches.

It said in the instructions the patch needs to be on my upper body, which sucks, becuase I wanted it on my ass. I have an allergy to adhesives, (tape, glue, the non allergenic shit they use at the hospital), My skin melts away under it. The backing on the patch is no different, and I really wanted to avoid the scars.

But I want to quit more.

I put it on my left arm this morning, and will get JJ to put them on my upper back starting tomorrow.

It is 10:45 PM my time, and I have not had a smoke. This isn't to say I haven't wanted one. Or that I haven't done this half-lurch type move, where I go to get the smokes and stop as I remember - no more. Because I have. Lots.

I have tired time and time again to quit smoking, and with the exception of Zyban, I have never lasted a full day. Yay me! Actually I don't feel like celebrating. I will celebrate when my heart doesn't start beating out of my chest, and my hands stop shaking. When I stop reaching for a smoke. Whether that be a week, a month a year, I think that's when I will celebrate. One day? That's too soon.


In other news. I got a new purse! In December I bought myself a purse and wrapped it up and set it under the tree. To:Me; XOX:The Husband. He didn't get to see it until Christmas morning, But it was the best purse ever. I loved it. It was the perfect size, shape, color. Perfect everything. But then it broke it's strap - and my heart.

I had to get my old purse out of the closet becuase I just could not find one I loved as much as the old one. Until tonight, when I took the boys into the city, partly to get away from the house and the smokes (keeping busy really helps me*) and partly to return a gift I had bought for JJ and get a new one. Can't say what it was because every so often The Husband gets off his lazy ass and reads my blog.


Here is my old purse:
(Why yes, those are boobs)

And here is my new purse:

*Scrubbing all the floors in the house by hand only takes three hours, with the kids running around. I considered scrubbing the rocks int he front yard too, but then it started to rain...

Edited to add: Daddy NEVER let's us stop and "waste four bucks on that stupid thing!" Since Daddy was not with us, I became the cool parent who said yes. Click it to make it bigger!

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Blogger Sheila said...

You should really just get Bronchiolitis like I did. Its much easier to quit smoking when you can't breathe, literally.

Congrats on day one. Keep it up!

11:21 PM, June 15, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

ooooh, I was first!

11:22 PM, June 15, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

I love the bottom two pics the best! Those are great, and you are the cool parent...

11:56 PM, June 15, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Who knew a photo booth could be so much fun?

4:32 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

I'm so proud of you! The first day is always the hardest. And yes, you'll be thinking about it and reaching for them for a bit. That's the habit part. Every day you'll notice that you do it less and less.

You are the cool mom! You have to do the photo booth at least once in your life!

5:09 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

I'm confused - why did you get a purse shaped like boobs?

And congratulations with your success so far in quitting smoking! Keep up with it!

7:05 AM, June 16, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

Yay for you!!Those floors are sparkling aren't they?? I'm here for ya! I hope you got my email yesterday,( I sent a few to different folks and some didn't get through)

7:36 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Yay! I'm so glad you made it a whole day!!! Yippee!!! Cute purse! I had a makeup bag with the boobs before. And isn't it fun being the cool parent? My hubs won't let anyone eat cake before noon, so when he's out of town we live it up!! LOL

7:49 AM, June 16, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a great mom! It's pictures like those that you will treasure for a long time. Keep up the great work and the awesome will power!
Sis-In-Law (the only normal one)

7:50 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I'm glad you were the cool parent those pictures are awesome!!

Hang in there with being a non-smoker - you can do it -

8:00 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Curiosity.Killer said...

Good luck on the quitting smoking... but you'll feel a lot better when you get up first thing in the morning.

I like your purse by the way!

9:11 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

both purses are adorable!!! and the picture of you and the boys is just too cute! Good luck with the smoking Blue...I know how hard it is....hang in will get better!

11:05 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

One day at a time...hang tough! I've got some floors to scrub if you'd like to come on down - I'm here to help. ;-)

I love photo booths...I have a strip on my fridge of my grandson & I.

11:27 AM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger mixednut said...

Hang in there Blue!
It will be worth it.

4:15 PM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger SimpleRich said...

Congrats on the quit. If I can do it you can too, and yeah, sometimes it's suckariffic, but the pay-off's worth it! :)

Hang in there though. It really does get better.

7:25 PM, June 16, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

I love the photos!!! Those rock.

I like the purses, too.

You are doing awesome. You can do it.

11:04 PM, June 16, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on Day 1! Take it one at a time, you can do it. It will get easier--just probably not as soon as you would like...
A boobie purse AND goofy photo booth pictures - blue overfloweth with coolness!!

11:49 AM, June 18, 2007  
Blogger Coffee Mom said...

Congrats on Day 1!!!
I'd never make it that far. You've got to give yourself credit and celebrate.

1:49 PM, June 18, 2007  
Blogger Kentucky Girl said...

ooh! I have a purse like that booby one that I have sitting on a shelf in the bathroom. I should send it to you.

3:12 AM, June 20, 2007  

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