I Don't Envy You

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

I am sick and tired of listening to people whine about how hard it is to be a stay at home mom.

Last night the TV was turned to a talk show. I can't recall the name, but the host was a cross between Doctor Phil and Jerry Springer.

And he had a mullet. Who in their right mind takes advice from a dude with a mullet?

This lady was crying - actually crying - about how hard her life is. All day long she is feeding and playing and bathing kids, then when she gets home she only has a few hours to herself before bed!

OMG that poor poor thing! Does she think he husband is off at the office playing with his Wii all day? Nope. He had to get up, get dressed, drive to work and actually work for eight or more hours.

Then tonight while at coffee with BFF Kissy, I was laughing and making fun of her and another guy because they have to work, and working sucks! Kissy said that I Did have a job; I'm a mom.

WTF? I must be doing this stay at home mom thing wrong, because to me, it's all one big vacation.

I don't have to change out of my pajamas until I feel like it. I have been known to put them on int the morning (I sleep nekked) And wear them until I take them off to have a bath at night.

I watch cartoons and read. I play online. I get to kiss owies and get told "mommy I like your hair" when it looks like a bird on acid's nest.

I make lunch, but not breakfast, because my kids make their own. If it's nice outside, I sit in my comfy chair with a carafe of coffee, smokes and my laptop/book.

Some days I suntan all afternoon.

I do not work. I play all day long. Should I cry that I have to say "stop riding your brother" sixteen times a day? Should I pout about how I get to have afternoon naps? Maybe I should be upset because I get to walk to the park and play with the lady bugs there because the ones in the back yard are all broken?

I have a dishwasher, and floors that are easy to sweep. My kids pick up their own clothes, and they think it's fun to load the washer and take the dry clothes out of the dryer. My five year old is pretty good at folding too.

The thought of me ever getting a job fills me with terror. Getting up every morning and having to get dressed AND leave the house? Not being able to do What I want When I want? Having set times for coffee!?! Screw that!

I have it easy. It's you I feel sorry for...



Blogger Shelli said...

You maybe shouldn't cry about the things you get to do, but you should take credit for the things that you do. You make a difference in the lives of your children and probably the other children in the neighborhood, too. What they say is true: "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." The most powerful leaders in the world were once babies, toddlers, children who were raised by loving mothers.

kisses and hugs!

11:41 PM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Yeah, I'm kind of jealous of your job. :-P

11:48 PM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Kentucky Girl said...

Hey, I've got that same job...only I don't have kids. :D

But I do agree on the "OMG IT IS SO HARD!!!!!!" people. Seriously. They aren't the first person to ever raise a damn child for pity's sake. I think that a lot of them try to do EVERYTHING for their kids rather than teaching their kids how to fend for themselves. I guess that could be pretty mind blowing if you did it every day. But they do bring it on themselves really.

1:56 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I don't think this is what you were trying to say, but what I don't get is people who say that stay-at-homes do nothing but goof off all day.

I'm always busy with something: cooking, cleaning, paying bills, tracking the budget, laundry, business calls, etc. I often don't have enough time to get it all done.

I'm probably going to have to go back to work at a "real job" soon, and I dread it. I don't know how I'll work and get everything done here, too.

5:42 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger onetallmomma said...

Blue, well written. I will tell you this. I sat in a LLL meeting yesterday and listened to new moms bitch and moan about how hard it was, how tired they were, bla, bla, bla. I was supportive and empathetic, of course. What I was really thinking was, "Suck it Women. Who in the hell promised you that parenting was easy. It can be bloody hard work. But if you get your heads out of your collective asses you will also find that there is joy and laughter and love in abundance."

I have loved the 15 years I have been home with my children. Wouldn't trade a moment of it. But now I am ready to stretch my wings.

5:42 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

I can imagine that when they get a bit older and they're all doing different activities at the same time and you're a glorified chauffeur, that might get a bit hectic.

I'm still not sure how your day is so easy, though. We don't even have any kids, and our house could stand to be cleaned for two solid hours every day. When you add in everything else, that sounds like a long day.

6:50 AM, June 07, 2007  
Anonymous slick said...

I'm printing this out and carrying it in my backpocket for all the whiners out there.

7:12 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger me said...

I too, have been blessed to stay home with my 3 kids. Although I haven't got it quite so easy as you, Blue. Which makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing wrong. But I hear ya, hearing people bitch about how hard it is to stay home is aggrivating. It isn't always easy, but there is a whole lot worse shit in the world than having to watch Nick Jr for 10 years straight.

7:16 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Curiosity.Killer said...

I like this post.

I'm profoundly traumatized from all these women freaking out about raising kids... dressing them and stuff.

All that crying and blaming are such a turnoff.

I WISH I have your attitude when I have my own kids.

IF I have kids, that is.

7:19 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

I work out of my home... which considereing the alternative is a wonderful thing. My house is generally a mess and I wish we had an extra stay at home mom to help with it.

I think the only thing about staying at home that ever bothers me is the isolation, but then that's why I blog.

7:38 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Theresa said...

I don't mind staying home with my kids, been doing it for the past 10 years, but I wouldn't mind having a job...as long as I could do it from home :)

8:10 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

You're awesome. A lot of why you don't consider it work is your attitude... Some people with maids bitch - you just can't please them. My daughter took the summer off to be with the kids, & she's like you; loves every minute of it.

8:16 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

It sounds to me that these people probably miscalculated what staying at home actually meant. They take on everything themselves, don't make their husbands pitch in, and expect perfection.

You, you've got it right. Your priorities are in order. Get the kids to do it and make sure no one gets killed.

8:19 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

I think maybe the women who 'hate their day job' are women who aren't overly fond of kids to begin with.

Or they're fucking whiners.

As for blogrita's statement...she's online...coffee breaks?

As for Avi, I think the key is structure. I think BPD has managed that. Also, if you keep your house clean as you go, you don't have clean so much...get me? Oh and most of the moms I know do housework when the kids go to bed.

I think it goes to priorities. If you want to make your day one big chore, that's what it will be. If you want to enjoy your children as the little people they are, then you reprioritise.

I know exactly the kind of mother she is and it's the very best kind.

9:21 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Violet said...

preach on, sista! i completely and totally agree with you. i can't speak extensively on the subject, since i do not have children or stay at home during the day, but i think you have the right attitude about all of it.

9:27 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Shelli They know they are loved, and I know they are safe. Hugs

Sheila As well you should be. I'm in my sponge bob jammies with a muffin and coffee right now. Stuperman is eating the cereal BB made for him and BB is singing and coloring.

Kentucky Girl I cant do everything in a day, so I don't. What is the point stressing that the counter needs to be washed and the plants dusted? If the dust bothers the kids they can do it themselves!

Blogarita well maybe SAHM's should goof off and stop worrying about the lunch dishes int eh sink. Maybe goofing off is more important than a clean house...and goofing off is definitely more important than laundry!

One tall Momma i still don't consider it hard work.

Avitable we live in a small town. when the kids are older they can get on their bike and go to whatever activity. also. parents plan too many activities for their kids now days. what is wrong with playing int he backyard?

Slick oh sure. you will print this out but not a picture of my panties?

Me If your house is childproofed, then you should be good to go. Keep them in hearing range and let them play on their own.

CK the first six weeks they sit in a swing and sleep. or you give them a bottle. then they are annoying for about four months, then they can crawl and you childproof and the rest of it is easy as pie.

Marilyn isolation? I sit online, or on the Phone all day. Or I make BFF Kissy come over and play with me. (she is here right now)

Theresa I could totally be a chocolate tester. they work from home, right?

Tug My dad keeps saying I have an attitude problem too...

Finn My husband doesn't help too often around the house, meaning house work, but then again, why should he work all day and then do the dishes? Also in my house, perfection is a dirty word.

Miss Ann My priorities are coffee, kids, books and more coffee. oh and pee breaks.

Violet you can borrow mine for a comparison study if you want...

10:04 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Jerri said...

I have the ability to show both sides and say that both are about equal. I do have young children and it was hard at home with a baby and a 2 year old, then a 1 and 3 year old. But, I chose that path and I really did cherish, even though there were days when my husband would come home to find us sitting on the sofa eating chips and cake icing straight from the tub.

I just bought a daycare. I am my own boss. I get my kids up and leave home at 7 or so and return home at 6. The good side of that is my kids play all day, with other kids part of the time and only with each other in the late afternoon. I can say, this has been awesome too.

The bottom line is, everything in life worth having is a little bit hard. No one promised an easy life.

11:27 AM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Katherine said...

According to some study I read a while back, stay at home moms are worth a $130K annual salary. Hmm, interestingly it didn't say who you go to to collect that check...

1:59 PM, June 07, 2007  
Anonymous squirrel said...

I totally agree life is a vacation! Envy us world! LOL

2:28 PM, June 07, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss being a SAHM, this working job crap is really getting me. Sure the extra money is nice, but when I come home from work the only thing I wish I could have is to beable to play with the kids without getting annoyed with them so easily. Working a job outside the home has seperated my relationship with my kids, and I only work part time imagine what full time would do. I hate the feeling of being rushed right away in the morning because I have to drop this kid off at school and that kid off at daycare and then get to work myself.

These whinning SAHM have nothing to whine about, they've got it easy, they should try throwing a shift work job in the mix too. I would give almost anything to be a SAHM again, I loved it so much.

2:59 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I loved being a SAHM - I hated the fact that we had no money while I was unemployed - and that the life we established was dependent upon me finding a full time job, but I love spending time with the kids, not having a schedule per se, and just being able to be... that was awesome, I miss that. I envy you and all SAHM, while I don't think they have it easy - I think they have it pretty good. If your child is sick, you don't have to find someone to cover your position in the office, or go in at night to get the work done.

But like others who have commented, I think ATTITUDE makes a huge difference...

3:11 PM, June 07, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

I got the joys of staying home with all three of my kids. At any time,I could be there if they needed me. I also got to raise other people's kids.We are all still really tight.

Avitable said his house could be cleaned every day-- We play 'mommy'.
The kids get paper towels and a spitz of windex--voila-cabinet fronts are clean!! AAHH--GoodTimes!!LOL

3:26 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I hope I didn't come across wrong in my earlier comment. I wasn't complaining about how hard it is being a SAHM (grandma). And I wasn't complaining about all that I have to do. I have a routine and some structure to my day because I like it that way. I love being at home and everything that goes with it.

I was just saying that I have very full days and resent the fact that some people in this world think that all we SAHMs do is "eat bon-bons and watch soap operas". I'd be bored to tears if that's the way my days went.

4:35 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You can feel bad for me all you want. I need it!

6:44 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Jerri . I am my own boss. I love how that sounds. But I love sitting in my pajamas at ten in the morning too!

Katherine Heh. I read that same study, but think it was done by a group of moms who sat and whined. See, if they are going to say they are a driver and that they make X amount a year, well pray tell, they spend eight hours, five times a week JUST driving? Not likely.

Squirrel Woot! We should party together!

Coffee Mom what you do, I could never EVER do. Spend all day working my ass off and then have to think about supper and dishes and kids and clothes? nope. Id Die.

Fantastagirl Sacrifices suck.

Metal Mom We don't play "Mommy" We play a little game I like to call "Pick up after yourselves or it goes in the garbage."

Blogarita I kind of understood what you were saying, but this clears it up a lot more.

and uhm. Most of my days are sitting and eating bonbons (coffee) while watching soaps(blogging)

Mr.Fab whats wrong? Are you still too delicate for a hug?

8:26 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Oh Blue you should know by now that some women bitch just to hear themselves and wouldnt be satisfied with ANY job...whether it be at home or out somewhere. I think you are very fortunate to be able to stay home with your boys. I stayed home till my youngest was in kindergarten. I think all women should be able to stay home with their small children but of course it just isnt always possible. You are one of the lucky ones who gets to plan your own day however you want it! You go BLUE!

9:25 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger mixednut said...

I only wish I could be a S.A.H.D.
It would be a joy. Not a job.

11:23 PM, June 07, 2007  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home