I'm in a happy mood today.
I woke up feeling refreshed - which rarely happens - and walked out of the bedroom to the smell of coffee brewing. Guess who remembered to turn on the coffee pot timer. Give ya one hint, - it wasn't me. And He doesn't drink coffee in the morning!
How DO people start their day without coffee, or tea, or something warm to drink? Because seriously, I sound like a frog on life support until after my first cuppa Java.
Speaking of life support, Since one of my goals in life is to live, I am going to try yet again to stop smoking. BFF Kissy tried the nicotine patch, step one (I think there are three steps?) but it made her ill so she just tossed the box aside. I asked her If I could have them, Cus I am all about being cheap, and she said yes!
This weeks' coffee night is Thursday, so I will - I dunno? Go to bed with one on? Put it on Friday AM? Whatever. My plan is to start not smoking on Friday. If it seems to be working, I am going to ignore the phone bill to pay for step two.
Uhm. Wait. My internet is on my phone bill, maybe I should ignore the power bill? Why else does the lap top have a battery?
I'm really kind of hopeful about this attempt. And the number one sign that shows it, is that I am blogging about it. In the past I have all but two attempts a secret, from everyone, including The Husband.
I tried Zyban quite a while ago, and it WORKED. After you start the pills, you have to smoke for ten or something days, and by the last day that I had to smoke, I was gagging and ill at the thought of going for the smoke. Unfortunately, the minute I stopped smoking on the pill, I got super, super ill and so I stopped the Zyban and started the smoking. My dad paid for the Zyban pills, so obviously, I told people about that attempt.
And then this past year, when Lynda helped me blog about my Moms death from Lung Cancer, I had decided to stop smoking on the tenth anniversary of her death. I told people I was trying to quit in the post on Lynda's blog, but not on mine.
That attempt didn't go to well.
This time, I feel..ready. I'm not sure how to explain. When I think about Friday and going a whole day without a smoke, I feel Excited as opposed to scared. It's like I am waiting in the line to a roller coaster. I'm tired of coughing and wondering. I'm tired of looking at my smoke wondering why am I doing this? Yet I still sit there, puffing away.
To bring this all back to the beginning, I said I am happy today, and a big part of that is realizing that the flitterflops in my tummy are from excitement, not fear. It feels really good to know that this time I am not just saying it, but am doing something about it.
I suppose I should say Wish Me Luck, but I don't think I will need it.
Labels: I'm Important Too