Ten Thoughts for 2007

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got
a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration

6 Comments:

Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Number 10 I always knew humanity was a virus of some sort

Number 9
Until the bus hits you

Number 8
Damn, just ate I better not stand up

Number 7
Did anyone see my roommate?

Number 6
I love playing with my slinky!

Number 5
They die of boredom

Number 4
Like I give a damn

Number 3
Because the Guvmunt is a big ass liar

Number 2
The world was never normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We should start tagging Illegal Immigrants and terrorist!

1:22 PM, January 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These were great!! #5 was especially funny to me since I am a health nut!! LOL.

2:16 PM, January 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#6 never fails to crack me up!!

3:21 PM, January 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.


Quoted For Truth!

8:13 PM, January 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, all so funny

9:30 AM, January 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hysterical! Loved those, especially 6, 8, and of course, #1. That's so flippin' true!

12:36 PM, January 19, 2007  

Post a Comment

<< Home