Public Service Announcement

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I have this friend. I will call her redpaintblue.

But I want to reassure you it is not me, and really. Would I lie to you?

In an case, my friend was telling me that last night after her bath. What? I am so not the only person in Canada who likes bathing! ANYWAY. Quit interrupting. I got She got out of the bath and went to her room to get dressed. But she noticed an ugly red bump on her vaginal area. Yuck. An ingrown hair.

So my friend was feeling lazy, and instead of getting up and getting a pin or a pair of tweezers to remove that pesky hair, she took this cute little pocket exact-o knife from her bedside table - No I didn't ask her why she had an exact-o knife in her bedside table. Just shut up and let me type!

She figured she could just use the pointy sharp end of the blade and nic it out real quick like, but her hand slipped and she cut herself.

The public service announcement bit?

If you do not want to go to the clinic to get two quick stitches on your vagina, please do not use a knife of any kind near it.

If you do? Your seriously fucked up. The doctor WILL laugh at you when you or uhm, your friend, tries to explain.

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24 Comments:

Blogger Sheila said...

You cannot tell me that this isn't about you.

7:57 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila What? Oh no, I would never have done anything like this. It really was my friend, redpaintblue. really

8:00 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Ouch. And OMG! what were you, I mean, was she thinking?

8:06 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

Should've just asked Jittery to kiss it and make it feel better.

8:48 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Shelli I'm pretty sure she wasn;t thinking at ALL

Avitable Lots and lots and lots of bleeding that my friend could not make stop even though she tried for a long long time.

8:52 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

I've also learned the hard way that genitals bleed copiously.

8:54 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Avitable Unfortunately this is true.

8:56 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

So...the knife is now locked safely away, right? Please??

9:23 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Annie Jones said...

Your friend cracks me up. And I hope her vajayjay is all better now.

9:39 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger Used*to*be*me said...

Holy fucking shit woman! that takes talent. Pure, unadulterated talent. You are wayyy speshhallll.

10:47 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger DutchBitch said...

Holy Mother of God! I suck with knives and there is NO WAY IN HELL any knive or sharp object is going anywhere near my vagina... EVER!

1:32 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Blueyes said...

Now see, I could almost see this happening but the closest thing I have in my bedroom would've been these little scissors lol Hope "your friend" gets better soon :)

5:40 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Angry said...

*Sorry but someone has to say it.*

"Doc I need to show you what I did to my vagina"
"Okay let's take a look.... mmm, nice gash... now what is you did to it...?"

5:46 AM, October 26, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

LMFAO @ angry!!!!!!

I hope to God you made this up.
You did, right?

6:41 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

Okay, only you, errr..your friend..would have an exacto knife next to the bed. I don't even want to know about what else is in that drawer!

6:55 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Pixie said...

Cuz periods aren't horrible enough? Fortunately that area does heal quickly....Um...redpaintblue told me! :)

Glad you, I mean SHE is okay!

7:06 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

:blinking: and :biting lip to keep from laughing:

Cause this isn't funny, right? Ouch.

7:57 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Twisted Cinderella said...

"OUCH!" I have to say, that is all my life, I have never had the desire to put anything sharp anywhere near there.

10:16 AM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug Uhm. no. When she saw all the blood she just tossed it back int eh drawer and tried valiantly to stop the bleeding by herself. for hours. before admitting defeat.

Annie It is very sore. But not bleeding so thats good!

UTBM Me? I did nothing. My friend did it! *blink*

Dutch Bitch Hmm Well I cannot say that myself, as I had an episipotomy with one of my kids

Blue eyes Really? I keep all sorts of sharp things in m room! I even have a three..maybe four (I'm not gonna go measure it!) foot sword in my closet!

Angry ROLF too funny

Metal Mom Sorry to disappoint you, but its not made up at all.

NAG whats in your drawer?

Pixie She hopes it does heal quickly as it is really tender today

Finn Oh I dunno, my husband and the doctor both laughed at my friend.

Twisted Cinderella really? What about a piercing?

1:40 PM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Anybody who is as prone to injury as your friend, should not be allowed around sharp objects... maybe not even allowed to shave her legs.

3:44 PM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You are the biggest dork in all of Canadaland.

7:51 PM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

So you're saying that you're friend is a fucking retard?

PS: they sell this lotion at the pharmacy that prevents bikini bumps. Honest. You should tell your frined before she accidently cuts off her clitoris.

JUst saying.

8:55 AM, October 27, 2007  
Blogger Girl, Dislocated said...

And I thought my medical visits were bad! That's just one less medical problem I'm going t have, thanks to this PSA. Thank redpaintblue for me. ;)

3:21 AM, October 28, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

Why was your husband with your friend? And ouch! And maybe your friend should start keeping tweezers near her night stand.

10:56 AM, October 29, 2007  

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