1. My five year old, after overhearing his teacher request a janitor come to fix the sink in the kindergarten bathroom, turned off the water, took apart the pipes to get at some do-hickey, unplugged the sink, put the pipe back together and turned the water back on.
True. He did this once at home as well, the above was something he did earlier in the school year, but he did do it. Unfortunately in both cases he forgot to use that stretchy-plastic-white-plumbers-tape-stuff. <---thats a technical term
2. I did not drink any coffee - at all - today.
True. I cannot taste anything but sweet. Its gawdawful. I tried drinking lemon juice. It was sweet, it was depressing me to try and drink coffee and not be able to taste anything but sweet, so I quit.
3. I have yet to take my ohmibod out of it's packaging.
True. Was that the sound of shattered expectations? I'm sorry. I have been sick and tired and tired of being sick and tired and sick and since I ran out of the little blue pills they sell in emails, I just cannot get it up!
4. Smokey the puppy , who cannot sleep through the night, understand her tail is not some evil being hell bent on following her to the ends of the earth, and thinks humans have teh best flavor, CAN sit and shake a paw with only hand signals.
True. And if she bites me one more time I am going to go INFUCKINGSANE
5. For the first time in my life I got called to the principals office and it wasn't something I did! I am also not at fault for the fact he took a screwdriver to school. Nor will I accept blame that he got righty-tighty and lefty-loosey mixed up.
True. Oh man this one was funny. I guess last Friday he noticed a loose screw so He decided he would fix it his next day of school ( Tuesday) but instead of tightening up the chair screws he loosened them and hilarity ensued. On my part.