I'm not sure what day it is.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Is that a bad sign? I mean I could look it up on the little thing in the corner of the monitor, but I think maybe...shouldn't I know? Aren't I supposed to be the grown up?

My bloggy buddy Marilyn keeps doing this Thirteen Thingy. and so I'm gonna too. I dunno If I'm supposed to follow a theme or not. And if I was, I still wouldn't. I'm a rebel!

Thirteen things that happened today.


1. In the bath tonight I was shaving my legs and couldn't figure out why none of the hair was leaving. Didn't it know I wanted it gone? Had I done something to make it feel welcome? Was my leg hair stalking me? Should I get a restraining order?

In the end I just took off that little plastic protective thingy that lives on the razors' head.

2. A man from Nigeria E-mailed me today. He wants me to rescue a puppy. I told him the dog was cute, but after I explained we had no more room in our freezer, he left me alone.

3. I was cooking supper. Pork chops cut in little tiny pieces and steamed or whatever you call it when you throw them in a pan with water and salad dressing. (Im a good cook, dontcha know.) In hopes I would be able to chew them.

Mommy what are you making for us to eat? Yucky food?

Nope, a dead animal I found in the freezer (me)

A good animal or a bad animal?

Just a pig.(me)

But piggy's are nice to me!

Oh? When did you ever meet a pig?(me)

When only I was invented and only a pigs were invented they would walk on the road and let peoples ride on their backs and not try to get them off and one little pig was sad cus no peoples were riding him so I ride-ed him and he was my friend.

So who invented you and the pigs? (me)

The inventor man it's his job and when you do a good works on your job they give you lots of money. Daddy has a job and he gets money to buy a couch. Maybe daddy can bring his bank of money home and share it and we will get a couch? I’m going to make an octopus now.

4. My father-in-law agreed for the first time in his entire life that maybe we were right in a decision we made. I'm still in shock. Not surprisingly, The Mother-in-law still disagrees.

5. We had a whole bunch of foot by six and foot by eight particle board shelves we wanted to get rid of. The Father-in-law wanted them. Because I am extremely lazy I piled them on top of Rainbow Man's skateboard and sat him on top. Then I pushed him down the driveway and told him to drive to "papa's" I also did this to the five year old....and the two year old.

6. Today I realized I have appointments for the fifth, eighth, eleventh and fourteenth of June. And one next Monday, but I haven't looked to see what day or number that is. I hate having to get dressed and leave the house to go to stupid appointments. Two of them are Dental related.

7. My husband has speed bumps for a forehead, not all the time, but when he Looks up or is concentrating or smiling or frowning or-- OK, yeah...most of the time. I tried to find a picture to show you but I was unsuccessful and he was less than amused when I asked him if I could take one.

Blue boy told him today that he must be berry berry old because he has old man lines on his head.

True dat.

8. I wanted to kiss the garbage man today. I didn't. Is it OK to leave a card or a gift or something for the garbage man? If I do, will they think I am a freak? Will they know it is for them or will they just toss it willy nilly into the truck?

9. A friend from school called to talk to RM today, he was off riding his bike so I took the message. When RM came in for supper I told him it was a girl and she wanted to go on a date for ice cream and kiiiiiiiiiisssss him. He threw his pickle at me and stormed from the table.

I apologized.
He accepted.

10. Right this minute the husband is talking about sub woofers and some sort of little hole on the back of the box. I don't know what a sub woofer is, but I am smiling and nodding and making a non-committal sound as I type this out.

11. After work The Husband was devouring the fifth Harry Potter book. After watching him read for a while Blue Boy simply could not take it anymore.

Daddy why are you just looking at the alphabets on the page and not reading them!

Well I am reading them, just, inside my head (husband)

Oh. If I had magical brain powers to read minds I could read the book too! Then you would call me king of earth cus thats where we live daddy - earth.

12. I made up number two.

13. I gave the baby a pair of pliers and a flat screwdriver thingy and told him to take out some half inch staples out of some particle board. I was kind of shocked when he cut himself. I gave him a band aid and set the little slacker back to work. It builds character.


Chicks dig scars.



Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You are a very strange little person. And that's coming from ME.

2:30 AM, May 31, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

Are you still taking pain medication? Stories like that float through my head when I take mine! LOL!

I particularly like the part about your razor!

5:13 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I don't think I'd eat a steamed pork chop, and I'll eat just about anything.

5:46 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Your children are going to grow up and be famous authors.

I wanna know about #4. Email it to me, if you will please.

5:54 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

You are one funny muthafucka.

6:13 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger DeeJay said...

You are a sick woman...and I like it.

6:59 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger onetallmomma said...

Blue, I am so glad that I am not the only one that has attempted to shave her legs with the little plastic cap thing still on the razor.

You sound in better spirits. And yes, do check out Robert Jordan. He is the best.

I think I am going to attempt 13 things. I have not written in a while and need to catch up. But do I have 13 things that are as amusing as your 13 things?

7:03 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

I want to live in your head for just one day...

8:14 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Wow, I didn't know that about pigs. Also, you can make your 13 list about anything. If you link up with the Thursday Thirteen website then you'll get some extra traffic and you don't even have to mention animal porn or anything.

8:57 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Mr.Fab Name ONE thing that I do thats weird. I dare you. Im normal as normal gets.

Metal Mom Nope, the last time I took anything was Tuesday night.

Blogarita It tastes better then it sounds. i cut up the pork chops into strip and marinate them in Italian dressing, then I put them in a cake pan with a bit of water on the bottom of it. Didn't matter I still couldn't chew it.

Shelli I don't remember number four, I will have to go back and re read it, then I will email you

Avitable Serious and honestly, I thought his post was rather bland, so i am surprised you were amused.

DeeJay Sick? Why? I take my vitamins. Well I haven't yet this morning, but I will.

One Tall Momma It was a DOH moment, thats for sure. You should do the thirteen things, all about how the new man is doing!

Finn Surprisingly, thats not the first time someone has said that to me, although it is the first time someone online has.

Marilyn I would never stoop so low as to talk about animal porn... however I can send ou a link to a great photo of a sheep vulva. Its almost ready to give birth...

Also, I think BB has an interesting take on the whole creationism/evolution debate. Maybe we were all invented by teh inventor man...

9:08 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

Why did you want to kiss your garbage man?

9:27 AM, May 31, 2007  
Anonymous squirrel said...

The best Thursday Thirteen i've ever read! LOL

11:40 AM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

"I wanted to kiss the garbage man today"

care to elaborate? lol

he must be really good at heaving those bags in the truck!

12:59 PM, May 31, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a very interesting day..my days are never ever that interesting.

And yes, I am still alive and here, just a bit burnt out (don't ask me what from cause I have no idea)

4:01 PM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

You & your kids need your own reality show. seriously.

6:26 PM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Im just shaking my head.....you totally crack me up!

7:38 PM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Lori said...

Sub woofers will give you really great bass on your stereo, mine rattles my windows.

7:41 PM, May 31, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

What little I could read of this entry seemed like it was funny. But, I have to go die. G'nite. Hopefully I'll be more alive tomorrow.

9:19 PM, May 31, 2007  

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