....And in a completely unexpected turn of events, I had a not wonderful but also not a piss my pants in pain and fear experience at the dentist this afternoon.
But I had to walk to my appointment. The car is broken. BAD Car! Something to do with hey go buy brake pads, I will put them in for you. Oh look this drum is seized. BAD Drum! Why is a drum in the car and who seized it?
So the drum is two hundred bucks, or thirty five. Depends where we go. Or something. If it has nothing to do with chocolate or coffee, I tune it out, truth be told. And the brake pads set us back forty bucks. Oh, and I guess it wasn't the rock that caused all the noise (?) Whatever. Someone buy me a new car. A red one.
Basically, the (BAD!!) car betrayed me and made me walk and for that I will never forgive it. It was very hot. I thought I would be driving. I was not dressed for hot weather. My ass crack was all sweaty by the time I got there. Sweaty ass crack sucks ass.
After my dental appointment, I was in shock. There was very little pain becuase when I sucked in my breath and squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the flying blood, she was right there with her Que Tip of Love and its Magical Numbing Jizz.
She said I was addicted; I did not deny it.
When I got home, all I wanted was a nice hot cup of coffee, but when it finished brewing, I had to force myself to drink it. My teeth have NEVER been this clean. And White. White teeth! Not all stained with tar and coffee! White!1!! How could I think of defacing them this way?
Oh wait. She gave me a new blue toothbrush. Isn't that sort of like the morning-after pill for coffee drinkers.. .
Now I keep running my tongue over them loveing ly while I stare, open mouthed and drooling, in front of the mirror trying to figure out if its incest to have my teeth's baby.
Labels: I'm Important Too