Say Cheese!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

....And in a completely unexpected turn of events, I had a not wonderful but also not a piss my pants in pain and fear experience at the dentist this afternoon.

But I had to walk to my appointment. The car is broken. BAD Car! Something to do with hey go buy brake pads, I will put them in for you. Oh look this drum is seized. BAD Drum! Why is a drum in the car and who seized it?

So the drum is two hundred bucks, or thirty five. Depends where we go. Or something. If it has nothing to do with chocolate or coffee, I tune it out, truth be told. And the brake pads set us back forty bucks. Oh, and I guess it wasn't the rock that caused all the noise (?) Whatever. Someone buy me a new car. A red one.

Basically, the (BAD!!) car betrayed me and made me walk and for that I will never forgive it. It was very hot. I thought I would be driving. I was not dressed for hot weather. My ass crack was all sweaty by the time I got there. Sweaty ass crack sucks ass.

After my dental appointment, I was in shock. There was very little pain becuase when I sucked in my breath and squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the flying blood, she was right there with her Que Tip of Love and its Magical Numbing Jizz.

She said I was addicted; I did not deny it.

When I got home, all I wanted was a nice hot cup of coffee, but when it finished brewing, I had to force myself to drink it. My teeth have NEVER been this clean. And White. White teeth! Not all stained with tar and coffee! White!1!! How could I think of defacing them this way?

Oh wait. She gave me a new blue toothbrush. Isn't that sort of like the morning-after pill for coffee drinkers.. .

Now I keep running my tongue over them loveing ly while I stare, open mouthed and drooling, in front of the mirror trying to figure out if its incest to have my teeth's baby.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Sheila said...

Ooh, I'd feel like I was cheating on my teeth with coffee if I were you!

11:12 PM, June 20, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

hot damn, I was first!

11:12 PM, June 20, 2007  
Blogger mixednut said...

I'm thinking of ya Blue!

11:19 PM, June 20, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

It's never as bad as you think it's going to be!

4:01 AM, June 21, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

So cool! It's like virgin teeth,huh? I hope you showered away that nasty butt crack. And Bad,Bad car! Don't you know it's always one thing after another?

4:38 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Yea, I have car (actually truck) trouble too, they should last longer than twelve years. ;-)

I imagined you walking to the dentist, but I want tell you that in my imagination you were nude so your butt crack did not sweat. ;-)

It is a felony to drink coffee for 12 hours after your teeth are cleaned. You did not know that?

6:07 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

I'm glad the dentist didn't hurt you. Don't you live a long way out of town? That's just not cool that the car couldn't wait till after the dentist to seize its drun thingy.

7:15 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

I'm glad it wasn't that bad for you. Now go dream about spiders popping out of your cheek!

7:50 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Sugar Queens Dream said...

At least the teeth are white and you have real teeth unlike me I have dentures and I hate them.... I guess if there's anything good about them though - its that I can put them in a cup when I'm sick of them or they want white.... Oh well, hope your all cooled off after the walk , I personally don't walk if I can help it not even for white teeth so I have to say you're a better Woman than me.... LOL LOL
Judy

8:24 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

Red cars fade faster & look yucka.

8:56 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

You are weird.

Do you know that they have a mouth wash for coffee drinkers/smokers? It's by Crest.

9:59 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

Now I keep running my tongue over them loveing ly while I stare, open mouthed and drooling, in front of the mirror trying to figure out if its incest to have my teeth's baby.

Isn't that just self love?

10:06 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

that's why I love going to the dentist. super white, clean feeling teeth make me feel all squishy inside. :)

10:12 AM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila But i love the coffee more..

Sheila you rock!

Mixed Are you thinking of me naked?

Mr.Fab Yes. Yes it is..

Metal Mom I showered it and powdered it!

Ole Blue at least someone is thinking of me nekked! YAY me!

Marilyn took me about half an hour to walk it..

Avitable I swear to god I will win the lotto so I can come to Florida and beat your ass!

Sugar Queen Heh. I'm getting dentures for the top, My dentist thinks bottom dentures suck (do you think so too?) so she wants to try and save my bottom teeth...

Tug So. does this mean you aren't buying me one? :o(

Shelli really? I'm going to have to go look for it!

Lynda hmm. masturbation. Interesting..

WebMiz I get my squishy feeling from chocolate..

2:38 PM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Coffee Mom said...

You had to walk all that far just for clean teeth...these are the times when a cell phone is very handy.

4:50 PM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Tenacious B said...

Why, oh why do cigs and coffee have to be the two things that will take away the whitey goodness?

My teeth are perfectly white BTW... at least in my pictures...
after I get done with them in Photoshop...

But next month I'm going in for another cleaning, and I'm going to get them bleached. Or sandblasted.

So I understand.

6:16 PM, June 21, 2007  
Blogger Sugar Queens Dream said...

Hey Blue, my Dentist said the same thing to me about bottoms ..... I don't know I have tops only~~ well~~ so far. I am trying to save my bottoms but I have gum issues so who knows , all I know is I hate dentures so far , mind you most people have no problems but, I pride myself in always being a pain in the ass *blank stare here*

6:30 PM, June 21, 2007  

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