Heh. I win!

Friday, June 29, 2007

He woke up at eight thirty. It's the day I've been waiting for all week.

Report Card Day.

He walks into the kitchen, still blurry from sleep.

"Oh honey! Thank God! We thought you were going to sleep forever! We were so worried!" I hug him close.

He asks, scratching his head.

"Sweetheart," I pause. "You've been asleep for two months. You have school today! You need to shower and eat and get going or you are going to be late!"

What? His eyes grow large. What do you mean? School is out. You said So!

"That was two months ago, you've been asleep for two months."

He looks around. The couches have been moved. But..what about camping? I had a dream..

"We took you with us. You slept the whole time! We even took you to the hospital to see if they could wake you up.."

His eyes are glistening. For a minute, I reconsider. Then I remember all the pranks he has ruined in the last month just by being old enough to know better.

"I'm sorry Rainbow Man, but you need to get in the shower and get ready for school."

He goes to the shower. Blue Boy wakes up. I quickly brief him on whats going on.

I'm pouring cheerios in a bowl when he returns. Blue Boy! What day is it?

Uhm? is it Tuesday? I don't know my days yet. I get to go to school now, and learn them.

I smirk. Perfection.

But mom! How can I sleep all summer? How? I would have starved! It's not school time. You're lying!

"Phone Nana." I say, " She'll tell you."

He calls. She asks him if he wants a ride to school. I am close to peeing myself.

Sandals on, hair combed, he reaches for the door handle. His shoulders are drooping, feet dragging, and his eyes are wet with tears.

"Oh, and Rainbow Man, When you get your report card, be sure to hurry home. We're going to the park today!"

He growls, then smiles, suddenly understanding.

This is the prank he has been watching for all week.

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Blogger Blogarita said...

If you were my mom, I'd be nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

11:17 PM, June 29, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

The kids go back to school to get their report card? When school is dismissed for summer? Really?

11:40 PM, June 29, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Blogarita I'm not sure if that is a compliment towards my careful planning or a tsking head shake in regards to the children's warpage...

Sheila Yup school was out on the 27th the teachers prepare them for two days later, they have to be picked up between nine and ten thirty or we have to wait until end of August to get them.. He passed by the way. Grade three had better look out!

12:17 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

I would have never made it that long. I would have been laughing my ass off.

12:36 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

It's official. You are the Coolest. Mom. Ever.

4:44 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

That is tremendous. The effort involved was very impressive, including getting his Nana in on it, too! Bravo.

6:44 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger J. said...


7:50 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I would so hate to be your child...but I would so love to pull stuff like that with Tink - Pan would never fall for it. Right now I have her convinced she will have to be 4 all over again on her birthday if she doesn't start acting like a 4 year old, cause it's the parents that decide if you get to move to the next age level.

Our report cards come home with them on the last day of school.

7:59 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

That's the kind of thong my Hubby would do... whenever he's home daughter runs into the kitchen and asks things like... do they really put weener dogs on stretchy machines to make them look that way?

8:41 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Poor kids...they never know what to expect next! lol

10:33 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger NotaGranny said...

I bow in the presence of greatness! Gotta remeber that one for my grandkids! You are wonderful!!

11:24 AM, June 30, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

Oh great Blue! Teach me your ways! I will make coffee for you every day and grind the beans with my feet! How did you not crack? I'm not worthy to bask in you awesomeness!

11:31 AM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger annie said...

You are SO going to Hell.

*laughing at Marilyn's typo*

12:24 PM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Shelli When worse comes to worse, pinch yourself. It helps.

Mr.Fab I also have nice boobs!

Avitable Don't forget! I even took the time to rearrange furniture, flip calendar pages AND move all of the camping supplies from the shoe porch to my bedroom closet. I put a lot of thought into these!

J. Evil is my middle name. I wonder then, is it a coincidence I have my dads name as a middle name?

Fantastagirl My kids love me. they forgive me with the aid of ice cream

Marilyn How often does your husband wear thongs

Catch What? I grew up like that and I'm fine...aren't I?

Not A Granny Hint. Click the "prank" label and read all of the rest. My favorite is still the aliens!

MetalMom coffee and toe jam does NOT go well together!

Annie Nuh Uh! I have get out of hell free cards! Want one? I have about twenty of them left!

3:01 PM, June 30, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO, you are a creative genius. Well Done

8:36 PM, June 30, 2007  
Anonymous fracas said...

BPR, you are hilarious. Cool mom is pretty much the right thing, but have you thought about how they're going to get you back when they're 15? Or even 12? I tell you, you're going to wish you weren't so cool then... or you'll have to make sure you have lots of insurance.

Pre-teens and teens can think of way better ways to get even with parents. Honest. Plus... remember that they have at least some of your DNA so they'll have that and the age factor going for them.

Are ya sceered yet?


11:58 PM, June 30, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Not often enough... and he'd look good in one too.

8:56 AM, July 01, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

you are so evil...lmfao!

10:40 AM, July 01, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

Seriously, you need a reality show - flipping hilarious!!

3:10 PM, July 01, 2007  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:38 PM, July 01, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooooh, you are not very nice!! LOL...Love it!

5:40 PM, July 01, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I am putting this down for another thing to try on my kids, should I ever have them.

7:29 AM, July 02, 2007  

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