Miss Ann Lied.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

This is not the most boring meme EVAH!

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The Cool and wonderful Shelli tagged me for this one!

What kind of SOAP is in your bathtub right now? Wow. Getting kind of personal and it's only the first question! The means I use to clean my insertable amusement park is really none of your business!

Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? Uhm. No. Should I? Watermelons are very, very big. And messy. Oh and they are also a summer food. DUH.

What would you change about your living room? I would either put up a mirrored ceiling or move the cable jack to a different wall.

Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? Clean. Thank God you didn't ask about the ones in the sink.

What is in your fridge? Defrosting rats, Penicillin, you know, all the normal fridge type things.

White or wheat bread? Gold bars. I would have also accepted chocolate chips.

What is on top of your refrigerator? Air. Dusty air.

What color or design is on your shower curtain? Glass. What's with all the questions about me being wet and naked? You some kinda stalker?

How many plants are in your home? Other than the penicillian in the fridge? None. Plants are for people who care.

Is your bed made right now? Heh. You're trying to picture me in it aren't you? FYI. My socks don't match and I have no panties on. Did that help?

Comet or Soft Scrub? Chocolate chips, but I would have also accepted Gold Bars.

Is your closet organized? I have closets? Great. Nine AM and I am already at my limit of learnable knowledge for the day. I hope you're happy now. *shakes head*

Can you describe your flashlight? Uhm. It's kinda yellowish,three X three inches wide/tall, made of wax, it has a string thingy. Often dusty.

Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home? Porcelain. I find the water is cooler that way. And I love pushing down that little handle!

Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? Is the concept of Winter that hard for you? When it is cold outside, you drink coffee, when it is hot outside, you drink coffee. Gawd. It's not that hard. Maybe you should write that down?

If you have a garage, is it cluttered? Are you offering to clean it out? If so, will you blow out the water lines at the same time too?

Curtains or blinds? Neither. I feel better when I know people are watching.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Four. Two regular sized super plushysoft, one body pillow, and some dudes shoulder. Dunno who he is, It's always dark when I use him.

Do you sleep with any lights on at night? DARK. As in the absence of light. Effin morons..

How often do you vacuum? lets see, there are 365 days in a year, so thats like 51, no, 52 weeks, divide by eighteen is eleven, no 2, add the number of rooms that have carpet and NONE ya dipshit. Vacuums are for carpets and I shave!

Standard toothbrush or electric? The sleek, engineer designed, aerodynamic turbo seven hundred, eight thousand RPM, operates with nineteen Dcell batteries.

What color is your toothbrush? I don't have a toothbrush.

Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch? No. And that means YOU.

What is in your oven right now? If there is anyfuckingthing in my oven, My doctor is going to have a LOT of explaining to do!

Is there anything under your bed? yes. A floor, then a basement, then some dirt. Or maybe rocks. If you keep going under, eventually you will hit lava, so that's pretty cool, right?

Chore you hate doing the most? All of the above. Are you taking notes yet?

What retro items are in your home? Are you calling me old? Fuck you. Get out of here. I can handle you ignoring then not welcome mat, but name calling is just not needed!

Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? Who in their right mind would bring work HOME? I wouldn't. Plus having a job would suck ass, and I am definitely not into ass sucking. Wait. Is there chocolate in the home office? Can I change my answer?

How many mirrors are in your home? Mirrors are just another way for the government to watch you while you bathe. We have six hundred and ninety seven.

Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? In Canada we use rocks as currency. Rocks belong outside or in your pants.

What color are your walls? We tore out the walls to make room for the mirrors.

Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home? Does a broadsword count? We mostly use it for kinky things, but it is darn sharp..

What does your home smell like right now? I have a cold.

Favorite candle scent? There is nothing like sitting in a warm fuzzy blanket, a hot cup of coffee in one hand and a good book in the other, enjoying the aroma of boiling cat urine.

What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now? Why are you so certain I am Pregnant? Seriously? It's just a little water weight, I swear!

What color is your favorite Bible? The bibles in our house are very shy. I've never actually seen one, though I hear they come out at night to forage for food. If I ever manage to see one of those elusive little suckers, I will make a point to note the color!

Ever been on your roof? As in HOHOHO you fat sob? Well guess who's been blowing Claus all year long- and tonight I am making sure you go down on the naughty list for calling me fat. AGAIN!

Do you own a stereo? If I had a stereo, would I be sitting here typing to you? I thought not!

How many TVs do you have? Closed circuit or other?

How many house phones? Two and three quarters, but you can blame the cat for that one!

Do you have a housekeeper? Yes. Her name is Mrs. Smokpey, and she only does floors. I'm not sure I like her choice of scrubbing agent (it smells vaguely like urine) but who am I to question, as long as she does the job well.

What style do you decorate in? I like long walks on the beach, cuddling in the moonlight and de-striping zebras.

Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? I prefer the cardboard variety.

Is there a smoke detector in your home? Yes. The kids think it is a dinner bell becuase it goes off ever night when I Open the oven to take out dinner.

In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip? If I am wearing a bra, my laptop, but if there is no support happening for the girls, I would have to grab grab them. Running makes things bounce in an uncomfortable manner dontcha know.

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22 Comments:

Blogger Sheila said...

I'm here, I'm here! I'm still FIRST!!!

9:46 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

That shelia is she ever not first?

10:06 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

Your flashlight is a tampon?

10:23 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila But did you read the post?

Fantastagirl Once, back in '72, she was second, but I went in, deleted the comment and killed the blogger who got first so she could go back to her rightful place. Don't tell anyone, OK
..also. less commenting about Sheila and more about me, cus I am sensitive about that. And also full of myself!

10:23 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Tug What have I told you about commenting when I am commenting? Must be those new glasses you need, I was talking about a candle!

10:24 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

I commented half way through the post, because it was a long one. :)

11:14 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

PS - Are 'Gold Bars' Canadian TOO?!

11:14 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

Why am I always the last to learn anything!!! So you are pregnant again!!! Weee!!

4:09 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger DeeJay said...

Funniest thing evah!

7:19 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Jerri said...

Hey, I posted part of your meme on my blog and linked to the rest of it! I couldn't stand it, I was dying laughing!

7:22 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Robin said...

A bra is a must...I've accidentally killed people without one.

9:49 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

My husband thinks are smoke detector is also a dinner bell.

10:39 AM, October 12, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well we have one thing in common,,,,our housekeepers! LMFAO...and i was just wandering does your electric toothbrush come in different colors and sizes???

spongebobber

11:09 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila wait. so my number one stalker didn't even read the whole damn thing? *crushed*

Sheila the beauty of gold bars is they are good all around the world.

NAG I think you spent too much time picturing me nekked and not enough time reading the NEVER EVER AGAIN! part!

DeeJay :o) thanks!

Jerri aww so sweet, thanks!

Robin Before I had my reduction i was running down the stairs, jumped the last two steps and gave myself a black eye with an unfettered boob.

Lynda I think of it as training!

Sponge bob not only different sizes but different speeds and textures as well!

11:20 AM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

I had to secure my rightful position of FIRST...

I always read your entire post. Sometimes two or three times during the day... cuz I'm a good stalker like that.

12:07 PM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger mixednut said...

Bravo!!

12:45 PM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Diane Mandy said...

GREAT ANSWERS! You are such a funny lady.

6:50 PM, October 12, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Right now I have to go to WW. When I get back, I am going to read this in depth. Okay?

7:12 AM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Back. I gained, damn it.

I am sensing a little bit of angst in this post. Everything alright, dear? lol

Note to self: send Blue a flashlight. And some batteries.

10:03 AM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

"Insertible amusement park"...nice!

3:36 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

That was a funny post!

11:16 PM, October 13, 2007  
Anonymous garage floor mat said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:22 PM, October 23, 2007  

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