I was thinking

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

..Which is usually dangerous. Do most people have an about me page on their blog? Should I? If people really have a burning desire to learn more about me, why can't they just read my archives? Or! Here's a thought. Become a regular reader and learn through the wondrous thing that is osmosis.

And. If I were, not that I am, but just pretend I was going to make an about me, It's OK if I lie my fingers off, right?

Do people really need to know that I'm the 60 watt not the 120? Because I'm sure I'm not the only mother out there who, upon passing the bedroom door, behind which, her youngest child sleeps, will open the door and wake up the boy becuase she heard a strange noise.

Did that last sentence make any sense? I'm too lazy to go back and read it.

See what happened is this: I was walking back and forth, back and forth from my bedroom to the sewing room with wee little strips of fabric, being ever so careful as to not mix the wee strips of fabric when I heard a strange wheezing sound coming from Stuperman's room.

It was more of a gulpy gasping sound, like he was trying very hard to breath but couldn't quite do it. After carefully laying out the wee strips of fabric int eh sewing room, I opened his door. He is fast asleep. I pried open his eye lid, which is really quite a fun thing to do, so long as the person is deep asleep.

Try it tonight with a loved one.

When I got no response to the eye pry, I felt his forehead, hmm. not hot. He seemed to be breathing fine, so I shut the door and left.

A few trips back and forth back and forth from my room to the sewing room, and i heard the noise again. This time I woke him up. Weird. He's breathing just as well as normal. But now he wants to stay up.

I convince him to go back to bed and am determined to ignore the weird sounds emanating from his room.

Until it happens again, this time louder than ever. I made the husband go check on him this time. Except he never made it all the way to Stuperman's room. He stopped at the dryer and said "This noise?"

"exact- Fuck!"

So sue me. Mixing up a dryer and a baby? It could happen to anyone! I bet Britney Spears has done it a million times!



Blogger Sheila said...

Dear Brittney, I think you should get a new dryer. :D

10:16 PM, August 14, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

shortly after He said it was the dryer i was thinking. Thats strange, We just bought that dryer last November.

Then I went to take the clothes out of the dryer and the gaspy noise was the rubber of the runner I accidentally tossed in the wash.

But its a very clean runner now.

And no, I don't sort the laundry, how'd you guess?

10:22 PM, August 14, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Dear Brittney, I think you need to make enough money to have someone else do laundry for you.

11:09 PM, August 14, 2007  
Anonymous fracas said...

Dear Brittney, I love you.

11:13 PM, August 14, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Sheila Think the kids are old enough to start?

Fracas I'm still not going out with no panties under my skirt!

11:30 PM, August 14, 2007  
Anonymous Mrs. Angry said...

I know how easy it is to make such a simple mistake.

I woke in the middle of the night once to a funny noise and thinking it was baby's feed time, I went and breast fed him. But it wasn't until an unsuccessful attempt to burp him that I realized I had just fed the dryer.

But hey, it wasn’t all bad… for the first time in months there was far less fidgeting and a lot more suckling.

12:51 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I am coming up to get him. Enough is enough.

3:02 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

You are a nut. But I love you that way.

Fab's about page is total fabrication. Check it out.

3:15 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

I pry Not a Grampys eyes open every morning before I leave for work...just want to make sure someone else besides me is up at this god awful hour!

4:01 AM, August 15, 2007  
Anonymous metalmom said...

* pats you on the head* There, there. Go back to sleep now, Britney!

6:31 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

It's better than actually mixing a baby IN a dryer.

7:22 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I imagine Britney Spears doesn't even know what a dryer is.

8:56 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Hey... at least your dryer works! Everybody says I can change the heating element on my own but I've taken all kinds of panels off and I can't even find the darned thing. Maybe if I breast fed it it would get hot again?

9:25 AM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Kentucky Girl said...

LMAO. Oy vey. Dontcha hate it when stuff like that happens and someone recognizes your idiocy before you do? I so hate that. LOL

1:26 PM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

I started doing laundry as soon as I was able to jump up to hit the buttons.

1:59 PM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

whatcha waiting for? if they aren't tall enough get a step stool - then they can do laundry - no problem.

Hell - before we got the washer (front loader) I had to use a step stool to get everything out sometimes... sucks to be short.

5:52 PM, August 15, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

omg, I do that all the time! I'll hear a weird noise and think it's one thing and then find out it's my sump pump running or something else stupid. one time I even got creeped out when I heard a strange noise repeatedly only to realize later it was ME! my nose was boogery and when I breathed, it was making a weird squeak sound occasionally. gawd, I felt dumb!

7:13 AM, August 16, 2007  

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