There Will be tears.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Another early post.

I cannot say for sure I will be able to do much more than crawl into my bed, curled up and feel sorry for myself, later tonight.

All day long I have had periods of forgetfulness, when I don't remember whats coming up tonight in eighty five short minutes. And life is fine, for those short, sweet moments.

When I do remember whats coming, I start to panic. I have some issues with panic attacks, and in most cases, counting out my breathing, and tapping my feet helps me deal with them.

Today, nothing has helped.

Because I know that tonight I am going to the dentist. Seven PM. To have a tooth pulled.

I had panic attacks today that have left me light headed and nauseated. I have had the ones where I shake uncontrollably. And of course, I'm extremely short tempered because of the fear.

Oh fuck. The dentist. Seventy eight more minutes.

I have had "bad" teeth for as long as I can remember. I was never the kid who came home with a shiny tooth shaped sticker for no cavities. I was always the one being drilled and suctioned, and as I entered into adult hood, where going to the dentist became MY responsibility as opposed to my parents, I slacked off big time.

I'm definitely paying for that now.

Now I am on my road to dentures. My molars have gone too far to be saved without more time and money than I deem worthy.

In the next seven months I will have all of my back teeth removed, one or two at a time. Right after Christmas, if all goes according to plans, I will have the front teeth removed all at once.

I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

If I had to choose between life without coffee or going to the dentist, I would lose the coffee.

I'm very much afraid.

At least one good think has come from me and my teeth; My boys are addicted to brushing and flossing. They don't want to have teeth like me.

Sixty six minutes.

Shit.

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22 Comments:

Blogger Kentucky Girl said...

Yikes! I'm not even afraid of the dentist and that still spooks me. :( Best wishes for you though. Be strong for the boys! :)

6:59 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

Oh...I so feel your pain. I, too, have yuck teeth & HATE the dentist. Does yours have nitrous oxide? I love me some gas... Hang in there....

7:13 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

YIKES....

I hope that is goes well - and may you get the GOOD pain meds, not the so so good stuff, but the really really good stuff... ouch!!!

7:28 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

I understand how you feel. I had braces, surgery, the whole works when I was young teen, and that didn't bother me. But I can hardly make myself go to a regular dentist. I end up going every 3-4 years and then they have to put me out, or nearly so, and do all the work at one time.

Like you, I'm making sure Sparky doesn't have the same dislike and fear of dentists.

I'm really hoping it isn't as bad as you think it will be. Hang in there...

7:37 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

How did it go? I hope you are okay.

8:53 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Diane Mandy said...

I'm hating this for you. I also HATE the dentist!

9:14 PM, May 28, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I hope you are okay. You are, aren't you?

3:48 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Avitable said...

You're going to get a shitload of money from the Tooth Fairy! Just think of that, and you'll be fine.

6:36 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Kentucky Girl SO confusing. I came home bleeding and swollen and so they want me to make them appointments. Boys are weird.

Tug They do, but I just went with the needles. I'm thinking the nitrous is a good choice for Rainbow Man, (he had a tooth pulled a year ago with no freezing - long story) who has teeth much like mine, where as the youngest two have perfect teeth like their dad.

FantastaGirl well i took the needle at the dentist, but at home I took my pain pills left over from my last surgery.

Blogarita it was as bad as i thought. In fact, I got a bloody nose from it. The roots of the tooth were up by my sinus and when the dentist tugged my nose kept pulling till finally the assistant held my nose still while the dentist pulled.

sucked.

8:07 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Shelli it went as planned, so it sucked. Im ok now (its morning) I had a nice drug induced sleep.

Diane lots more people than I assumed have great dislike of the dentist. The husband said we are in the wrong profession. 133 bucks to remove one tooth. at least we have insurance!

Mr.Fab I wasn't. but now I am.

Avitable I will ask m dad which night it is convenient for him that I put it under my pillow.

8:10 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Marilyn said...

Oh Blue, I'm so sorry. Hubby's having a hard time with his teeth and we have no insurance of any kind. He wants implants but he may end up with dentures anyway, because who has that kind of money?

I hope you're feeling better soon.

8:13 AM, May 29, 2007  
Anonymous Slick said...

Well, at least your boys are working hard...there's a silver lining I reckon'.

Soooo, how'd it go???

9:06 AM, May 29, 2007  
Anonymous Slick said...

Nevermind, just read your replies. I'm kinda slow today

9:07 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Marilyn I researched implants, but the whole drilling and attatching to bone thing?

Not for me!

Slick Went so so

Slick its not that you are slow, but looking at the hairy boob woman at your blog today has permanently damaged your brain. its ok, we still love you.

9:15 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

oh my gosh, that sucks! I've had two teeth pulled and it didn't bother me one bit (I heart novocaine!), but I know some people are deathly afraid of stuff like that. You'll pull through, blue!

10:22 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Although I am completely terrified of denists, I am overly jealous of you. Without insurance, I'm certain that my teeth are slowly rotting away on their own... okay, its not quite that bad, but ya know.

11:22 AM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I guess I better make a dentist appt soon. I haven't been for, um...ten years, I think.

12:29 PM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Oh Blue..I so know where your coming from. When I was 26 I had to have my teeth all pulled. I was terrified. I went into the hosp and had them all pulled at once and when I came down from surgery my new teefies were in my mouth! For me it was the only way to go. I refused to go without teeth for any amount of time. And thankfully I was asleep when they pulled all those little buggers out!Hang in there Blue!

12:54 PM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger onetallmomma said...

Valium and nitrous. It's the only way to go.

2:00 PM, May 29, 2007  
Anonymous Angel said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I literally feel your pain. In the last two years I have had thirteen teeth pulled. Then implants put in the place of the teeth that were removed. I have three left to have pulled and implanted. I go to the dentist for the next extraction this Thursday, and I am scared to death, even though I have been through this before. I am already starting to panic, and it's only Tuesday. :(

4:52 PM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger tkkerouac said...

just found your blog, great reading!

9:27 PM, May 29, 2007  
Anonymous fracas said...

I'm late to this non-party but nonetheless want to leave some cheer. Every time I read your blog I find more things we'd have to talk about.

I see you're fine now, but hey.. everyone needs to have dozens of postive thoughts to a post like this! And yes.. thank God for insurance.

12:49 PM, June 02, 2007  

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