FOAD Thursday

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I'm very amused that the PPP post I picked for today coincides with FOAD Thursday! It took me quite a while to pick one, but I wanted one that I could be mad in. LOL. I'm still a sellout, but I'm one who is this much closer to my wood giving camera!

To those of you who think I am a good and perfect mommy and wife, please stop reading now and go comment about how well adjusted and incontrol I am , Kthnx!

I have ... Issues*.. And I'm gonna toss them out for all of you to laugh and point fingers in my general direction.

I think I am going insane. Here are a few quick examples:

  • "Mommy can I have a drink?" GO PLAY WITH YOUR BROTHER! LEAVE ME ALONE. Slam doors, stomp around act like I have been mortally insulted.
  • "Hi hon, how was your day"*forehead kiss* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. GOD, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. More doors slam, dishes die a premature death.

See what I am getting at? I have NO self control. I'm not losing my temper over stupid things, I am losing it over NOTHING.

In my head while I am screaming and swearing and acting like a psycho bitch I can hear my brain saying "whoa, wait, why are you yelling, shut your mouth right now. STOP IT!" But I never shut up! I keep going and I don't know why! My brain knows I am irrational during these "outbursts" but I still cannot stop.

I am so losing my mind. The kids are afraid to come and hug me for fear I will yell. Its horrible.

And even knowing what an emotional wreck I am, I.Still.Can't.Stop.

Does it have anything to do with my blood test taunting "Hahaha pre-menopause bitch!! That will teach you to giggle at the blue haired women at the mall."? Am I going thru some sort of weird depression thing? Or am I really going insane?

Where will I be this time next year, home and happy? Drugged to my eyeballs in a mental institution? Still swearing and screeching like a banshee? I have no idea, but I do know that my behavior is seriously in the wrong, and as such, I dedicate this FOAD post to me.

*Before you say anything, I will be talking with my doctor tomorrow when I take in Stuperman.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there, I tripped over here via FFM's blog. I have enjoyed your well grounded comments there, but now that I know you're an imperfect human being, that will all change...not really. I hurt for you and for your family. My wife is a depression sufferer. She has been taking Zoloft for about two and a half years now, and it has changed our lives dramatically...for the better.

I'll be back by soon. Good luck, and blessings.


7:45 PM, January 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're probably not losing your mind. I'm sure your doctor can shed some light on the problem. Let us know what he/she says.

8:01 PM, January 04, 2007  
Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

yup. as a person who is in the 3rd year of peri-menopause, I can vouch for the mood swings from hell and psycho bitch temper tantrums.

i hear this can last up to 10 years. cool huh?

8:17 PM, January 04, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

I totally relate. You sound like me. Let me email you some more private thoughts.

8:28 PM, January 04, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Jaymz thanks for visiting!

Blogarita its the "probably" that worries me lol

Miss Ann, I assume i mis heard my doctor? (was a phone conversation) its not pre? that explains some of my confusion.

Shelli I will be watching my inbox...after my bath

8:40 PM, January 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with this, I hope you find what's up - & I'm sure there are SO many people much more qualified than I am to even just know my thoughts are here with you.

9:34 PM, January 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had no idea you were going through all of this. Let me know if there is anything I can do, take the kids for a night, whatever anything.

10:00 PM, January 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I wasn't going to say anything other than, sounds pretty normal to me.

8:19 AM, January 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do that! the yelling thing while my brain is telling myself to STFU? yes! I do it too!

12:13 PM, January 05, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Blue, you are not losing your mind. People who lose their minds do not realize they are losing it. If your starting into menopause you have a long way to go....and yes it can last for 10 years. When I started with the mood changes and crying I went to my Dr. He gave me zoloft..I have been taking it ever since... I am not drugged. I function well and do not have the mood swings anymore. Zoloft is a wonderful drug if you dont abuse it. It takes away anxiety, depression, mood swings and makes you a much nicer person to be around. Good luck! Go to the will help you.

1:47 PM, January 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Acting like that is out of the ordinary?

Well, don't tell my husband!

Seriously, sorry you are going through this.

2:06 PM, January 05, 2007  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Well look. I heard lots of this men-on-pause stuff before and I think here is what U R missing.

First, when you go to bed at night drink some camel-mile tea with nut and meg, along with just a little vodka in it. Like a table spoon or much more.

Now then, when you wake up in the morning master bate then eat one pound of chocolate. Afterwards have a beer.

For lunch have a shot of tequila and your favorite desert. Next take a nap. If you are at work make sure you close your door. If you to not have a door put a note on the back of your head, your head will be down on your desk, that states, "Anyone who fucks with me will have their eye and balls ripped out.

For dinner have a full bottle of wine and another pound of chocolate.
take another nap.

Wake up and watch porn. Have sex with hubby or self.


If this does not work see your doctor about doctor approved stuff.

Here is something else for you *hug*

3:05 PM, January 05, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I could come up there and move in and work as your nanny. That would take some pressure off.

5:23 PM, January 05, 2007  

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