I'm very amused that the PPP post I picked for today coincides with FOAD Thursday! It took me quite a while to pick one, but I wanted one that I could be mad in. LOL. I'm still a sellout, but I'm one who is this much closer to my wood giving camera!
To those of you who think I am a good and perfect mommy and wife, please stop reading now and go comment about how well adjusted and incontrol I am , Kthnx!
I have ... Issues*.. And I'm gonna toss them out for all of you to laugh and point fingers in my general direction.
I think I am going insane. Here are a few quick examples:
- "Mommy can I have a drink?" GO PLAY WITH YOUR BROTHER! LEAVE ME ALONE. Slam doors, stomp around act like I have been mortally insulted.
- "Hi hon, how was your day"*forehead kiss* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. GOD, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. More doors slam, dishes die a premature death.
See what I am getting at? I have NO self control. I'm not losing my temper over stupid things, I am losing it over NOTHING.
In my head while I am screaming and swearing and acting like a psycho bitch I can hear my brain saying "whoa, wait, why are you yelling, shut your mouth right now. STOP IT!" But I never shut up! I keep going and I don't know why! My brain knows I am irrational during these "outbursts" but I still cannot stop.
I am so losing my mind. The kids are afraid to come and hug me for fear I will yell. Its horrible.
And even knowing what an emotional wreck I am, I.Still.Can't.Stop.
Does it have anything to do with my blood test taunting "Hahaha pre-menopause bitch!! That will teach you to giggle at the blue haired women at the mall."? Am I going thru some sort of weird depression thing? Or am I really going insane?
*Before you say anything, I will be talking with my doctor tomorrow when I take in Stuperman.