Sex and Baloney = Kool-aid Cults

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ok, I have a wonderful post full of sex and baloney lined up, but First, lets all head over to Certifiable Princess' Blog. Now. She is living a parents worst nightmare. A life threatening infection in her baby boy.
The doctor has diagnosed him with pericardial effusion, fluid around the heart.

Get your butts over there and pour on the loving. I said move it people!
_______________________

And now, onto our regularaly scheduled blogging program. Which you cannot read if you have not clicked. I will be checking.

My Fabulous BFS Roxdar has cleaned and loaded my new laptop. All I have to do is wait for payday to get some card thingy with an antenna to put in it and a box thingy. As far as I can tell the antenna and the box are having a torrid affair and are not willing to be seperated. If they aren't together, my punishment is no net. Ahhh, true love. I wonder if the modem knows about this?

Speaking of true love, I went for coffee with my Husbands mother today. Yea the one who lectures him on hickeys giving cancer and no sex during periods. That one. Umm and by "Went for coffee" what I mean to say is we went to Wal*Mart and had a coke at the McDonalds there.

So we are walking the isles pointing out things to Stuperman. "Look a pumpkin. A car. A duck.A fish." and she has her eagle eye out for the neon yellow clearance signs. Ohhh goody! This was on sale. After about five minutes of reading the back......

"Ohhhh ! Look It warms as you rub it!"(MIL)
I smile and look away, avoiding eye contact.
"Wouldn't that be nice? But Jake doesn't rub my feet."(MIL)
I start to wonder....
"I think it would be nice if I gave him a nice back rub"(MIL)
Oh dear, Don't tell me she doesnt know...
"Intimate Lubrication?......"(MIL)
Now I have to say something!
"Uh, mom, thats not for Back massages its for, uh...well.."(ME)
"Ohhhhhh! Are you buying some?"(MIL)
Sigh

Also, It was pointed out to me that the "Magnum" condoms are on sale

I will get to the baloney portion of this post in a moment, but first lets go over a few words of wisdom I got from her tonight.

Things like :
  • Sex should never get old in a relationship. Its not old with Me and Jake. I mean its not like it was the first years of marriage, but its still great
  • Refill your drink. It's free.
  • A sale is not a sale unless you need the item on sale
  • Refill your drink. It's free.
  • Wash your dog in tomato juice (let me point out at this time I do not have a dog)
  • Refill your drink. It's free.
  • If we wait till we go to put the lid on, it won't spill.
We walked thru the grocery department, still hunting for bargins. Still pointing out different items for Stuperman to Identify. I point out the baloney, which I love. It's a food group into itself! MIL says "Does mommy eat a lot of baloney?" and he says....(wish I had brought a video camera) "Nana full a baloney!" and by says I really mean screams it so loudly people six isles over heard! Priceless.

Also on the topic of saying things. Last night in bed, right after I got over a bad case of the giggles (Always time a fart for when they are turning so the are hit full on with the stench people. Timing is everything) I said "I'm sorry I'm still in blog mode" I wonder. Am I different on blog then in real life? Rox? Kiss? SpongeBob? MM? you tell us. Am I me on the blog or am I Bluepaintred?

BFF Kiss came over today. She was using my washing machine as an excuse for us to have more coffee. I didn;t bother to tell her my dryer sucks and it takes two full cycles to dry clothes! HAH! Bi-otch was stuck at my house for HOURS! Oh and Kiss....

Last night I was supposed to buy milk after coffee, but I forgot. So hubs went all PMS over my ass this morning when he had to start his day without his precious precious Cheerios (What a baby. We have waffles and porridge . They don't need milk to be eaten, its not like you starved!)
So I says to the guy, Just buy some after work. And. He. Forgot. Did I get all bitchy on His ass? Nope. I bought some tonight! I rock like that!

I will be investigating this Bloglines thing. It may be a cult. Mr.Fab tuned me in to it, so it Must be a cult if he's with it!. Ah Hell! I'll even drink the koolaid if it means I get to have my Linkys back!

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It could be a nice back rub lotion!! You're pretty much the same-whether blogging or in person-you're just funny all the time.

MM

7:25 AM, October 13, 2006  
Blogger Catch said...

good post Blue.....I always love it when your with your MIL...lol...BTW, just what is porridge???? I always thought it was like cream of wheat but you would need milk with that...so just what is it????

9:04 AM, October 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would have to say that rock on stuperman for calling nana balogna...thats one of the funniest things ive heard today...and i dont believe you are any different on blog life then in real life....i have noticed any changes in you but i should go grandmas callin me
spongebobber

9:59 AM, October 13, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

So did you hook up with Bloglines?

Get with it, woman!

6:19 PM, October 13, 2006  
Blogger Tug said...

FUN with the MIL. I like to scream out about depends when shopping with my mom...usually while in line waiting to pay.

Tried to respond to your e-mail & resend it a couple times, I keep getting it back???

9:16 PM, October 13, 2006  
Blogger Lori said...

Do you ever slow down? LOL

9:35 PM, October 13, 2006  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Your MIL sounds scary.

Bologna is as important to life as air.

Kids say things we are afraid to say.

I already have a cult so I will not be joining bloglines. You are linked to me so you are part of my cult. Also, we are having a cult holiday tommorrow so get drunk today, that is all you allowed to do, preferably nude, and call in sick tommorrow.

You don't have to drink kool aide in our cult, just lots of alcohol.

;-)

7:46 AM, October 14, 2006  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

MM oh good. cus I was worried. Arent you going to wonder when you find a jar (jumbo size) in your stocking this year?

Catch porridge? its oatmeal. you know, lumpy brown stuff? we eat the flavored packets of it and we dont add milk. i think some people do

Spongebob yea stupe coems up with the greatest things to say. my pie is better then your pie

Mr.fabi signed up, but then i got confused. hows about i give you my password and you sign me up?

Tug that seem sto happen to a lot of people and i dont know why. the spam mail gets thru just fine!
(welcome to my blog!)

Lorimaybe when the kids are grown?

Ol Blue dude. we have a problem. I dont drink alchohol. at all. but i do like coffee. does that count?

11:50 PM, October 14, 2006  

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