Man, I am having a BLAST!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fab here again. Living large in the Great White North.

You know what's great about housesitting? Having the freedom to pee in the sink. I love that. I've peed in the bathroom sinks and the kitchen sink and the sink in the laundry room..although that may have been the dryer, I'm not sure.

And late last night I may have been a little confused and groggy and peed in the lettuce crisper. I'm kinda afraid to look.

I've torn this place apart looking for stashes of money, and I found a few, but it's all Canadian money. What am I supposed to do with this? Phht.

There might be a few more pubic hairs on the soap than there were before I got here, but they probably won't notice that. They might notice the pubic hair on the TV remote and the toaster, though.

Don't ask.

Have you ever tried to suck yourself off with the vacuum? That was sooo much fun! I yanked my johnson out of there just in time to spew love juice all over the couch. I'm sure that will come right out.

Ha! Come right out! Get it? Come...oh never mind.

I think I like housesitting. It's very relaxing. I hope to do more of it. I hope Blue will give me a good reference.

Well, I gotta go. The family will be home tonight, and I need to make sure I rub my nethers over everything in the house before they arrive. Hey, it takes longer than you might think.

So...when do I get to housesit for YOU?

12 Comments:

Blogger Avitable said...

You know, in Blogger, you can't post-date entries and have them actually publish at that time, right?

And who doesn't have pubic hair on their remote?

8:16 PM, July 28, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

Are you sure you may have only just peed in the lettuce crisper?

Don't forget to feed the cat!

10:53 PM, July 28, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

You didn't watch the snakes have sex? Geez, and I was expecting you to video tape it!!

11:26 PM, July 28, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Avi--Yeah, I know it posts early. I'm lazy.

Lynda--There is a cat? Eh, fuck it.

Sheila--The snakes? I let them go.

11:39 PM, July 28, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Ooh, Blue's gunna be maaaaad. :P

11:55 PM, July 28, 2007  
Blogger Janna said...

Don't forget to rub your nethers on the lettuce that's in the crisper.

It may be slightly less crisp afterward, but it'll have that extra special "something."

Then you can work on acting surprised when Blue posts about finding a pubic hair in her salad.

12:47 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Remember to Pee in the closets!

7:33 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Turnbaby said...

Don't worry...I'm sure the snakes ate the cat ;-p

8:42 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Never. You may never house sit for me unless you do at least PG-13 posts. Mine, unlike yours, is a family blog, you know.

9:15 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

Oh Fab.....your not house setting for me until you learn to curb your inner desires....or at least trim your pubic hairs.....yuck! lol

9:36 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

Oh, Poor Blue...and what about poor Rainbow Man? Can you imagine their expressions when they find their dear pets missing...snakes, you fed the lizards also, right??

10:17 AM, July 29, 2007  
Blogger Lynda said...

I think Blue would forgive everything but desecrating her coffee pot. I wouldn't go near the coffee pot if I was you.

11:33 AM, July 29, 2007  

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