Mr. Fab here.
I hope you guys can read this. I have never guest posted on a Canadian blog. I don't know how to read or write Canadian. I can only hope that there is some sort of translation plug-in installed here that is automatically changing the American words to Canadian.
Jesus, this place is a mess. She sure doesn't clean much, does she? And all these dead baby seal carcasses are really starting to stink. And what is this on the walls? Jelly? I think it's grape jelly. How does grape jelly get on the walls? Is that a Canadian thing?
Am I going to have to learn the metric system now? I don't like hockey. Am I going to have to watch a lot of hockey?
Hold on a minute. Ahhh...yes. This is what I've been looking for. Mmmm....Blue's underwear drawer. Mmmm....her panties smell divine. Hopefully there are still some dirty ones waiting for the laundry. I'll take a few of those babies home with me.
Shhh...don't tell her.
Maybe I should masturbate into a few of her clean pairs and put them back for her to find. After all, she did tell me to just be myself over here and not do anything different.
Damn, I need to remember to get the decaffeinated coffee out of the car. I'm going to dump out all her regular coffee and pour in the unleaded stuff. Thing should get pretty interesting here when she returns.
I wonder which side of the bed she sleeps on. Oh wait, I can tell. It's the one with all the sweat stains on the sheets and the drool spots on the pillow. Hmm...it's stinkier on her side of the bed, too. I don't even want to know why.
What do we have in the nightstand here? Ah, a vibrator with the word "Fab" written on it with magic marker. Well, who can blame the poor girl for fantasizing about me? Ooh, and a butt plug with "Avitable" written on it. Well, it wouldn't be the first time Avi and I nailed the same chick.
I guess for now I'll curl up in their bed and take a nap. I'll sleep on the hubby's side. No stains over here. Well, not yet. I'm a bedwetter.
I'll be back tomorrow. I'll let you know what else I find here.