Lost

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I lost my baby today. I can't find him anywhere. I looked down, and he was just gone. Gone. Snap of the fingers, in an instant, Gone. One minute he was there, safe and secure, tiny and sweet smelling, his trusting fingers wrapped around my thumb. He's gone now, and I don't know what to do.

"I do it aww bah MYTELF!!"

" I Luuubb youhh"

"One two three four six nine"


These are things little boys say. Not my baby. Never him. It seems I forgot he was supposed to grow up. I really did. I spent no time picturing him off to his first day at school or with a car, a girlfriend, children of his own.

He was just my baby. All mine.

And I lost him.

Today I had a shower. I do it often, and nothing bad has ever happened in the entire history of me having showers. Today, Just like he always does, Stuperman wanted in the shower with me. He wanted to use his bear soap and splash at the drops in the air. He wanted me to pick him up and let the water fall on his back. He was still a baby then.

It happened so suddenly. I had no warning at all. Both my arms were tangled up in my hair and that's when I felt it. A tiny hand had tentatively reached out and touched my vagina. I jumped back and looked down at his poor confused face. Shock.

"Mommy your nekked is broked"


Aww FUCK! He finally noticed that boys and girls aren't built the same. He is a boy. I am a girl. And we are different from one another in an intrinsic way.

This Utopian stage in our life is over now. He's not the same innocent baby who knows nothing other then what we show him. Now he's a little boy. A person capable of learning and coming to his own conclusions about himself and the world he lives in. So fast. So.Damn.Fast.

Soon he will be a man, and the next naked woman he sees should be rightfully lying beside him..hopefully with a ring on her finger.

***********
DDR:
Total Calories Burned Today: 154.546
Total Accumulative Calories Burned: 1238.640
Total Accumulative Miles Jogged: 16.066

***************

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16 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I thought for sure you had a penis...

4:43 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger avitable said...

"hopefully with a ring around her finger?" Wishful thinking much?

7:35 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Mr. Fab People always seem to think that...

Avitable Well, if he is anything like his parents, their first kid will be ready to pop on their wedding day. But a mom likes to dream...

8:14 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Finn said...

That's a real kick in the ass, isn't it?

I love that: "Your nekked is broked." If he only knew how true that is after having kids. *sighs*

8:56 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Coffee Mom said...

Awwww...it'll be O.K Blue, no matter how old he is and what he says he will always be your baby

9:32 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Blogarita said...

Maybe it's because of the turkey neck picture.

9:34 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Awww poor Blue. How sad. Maybe you can just have another one. LOL

10:10 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

"Mommy your nekked is broked"

omg, I woulda DIED!!!! lmao!!

11:14 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Tug said...

oh...poor thing. MY baby is 27. So ARE you ready for another? Try for a girl?

11:15 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Sheila said...

Aw, this story is precious! Tuck a copy into his baby book to remember when he's older!

11:51 AM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Catch said...

my grandson was showering with his Mother...he ask her why she didnt have big boobs like Granny does...lmao.

12:20 PM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Finn Lol My nekked only broke with the first, the last two slid out like it was greased!

Coffee Mom Sigh. I will bribe him with dinasour cookies to make him!

Blogarita I love that picture!!

FlipFlop I will be addressing that statement in tonigihts post

WebMiz While i didnt die, i did cry a bit. Im sort of sad.


Tug can I be your baby? Im 27 too!

Sheila its all in the book. blackmail you know!

Catch OH LOL. too funny!! A few years ago my middle one asked his Nana why she had hair there and mommy didn't.

1:42 PM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Dan said...

Thanks for visting my blog! And for linking to me. I have done the same!

I love your blog because you have photos of cats all over. Cats rule. Hugs and kisses.

I'll be back to read words later! :)

5:34 PM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Katherine said...

Crap! My condolences on your loss.

6:25 PM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

damn - I hate it when they grow up.

7:46 PM, February 06, 2007  
Blogger Shelli said...

Ouch! That hurts.

A friend once told me that her son figured out the difference between men and women. He explained it like this, "Mommy, men have penises and women have fur." I thought that was hilarious.

9:38 PM, February 09, 2007  

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