I lost my baby today. I can't find him anywhere. I looked down, and he was just gone. Gone. Snap of the fingers, in an instant, Gone. One minute he was there, safe and secure, tiny and sweet smelling, his trusting fingers wrapped around my thumb. He's gone now, and I don't know what to do.
"I do it aww bah MYTELF!!"
" I Luuubb youhh"
"One two three four six nine"
These are things little boys say. Not my baby. Never him. It seems I forgot he was supposed to grow up. I really did. I spent no time picturing him off to his first day at school or with a car, a girlfriend, children of his own.
He was just my baby. All mine.
And I lost him.
Today I had a shower. I do it often, and nothing bad has ever happened in the entire history of me having showers. Today, Just like he always does, Stuperman wanted in the shower with me. He wanted to use his bear soap and splash at the drops in the air. He wanted me to pick him up and let the water fall on his back. He was still a baby then.
It happened so suddenly. I had no warning at all. Both my arms were tangled up in my hair and that's when I felt it. A tiny hand had tentatively reached out and touched my vagina. I jumped back and looked down at his poor confused face. Shock.
"Mommy your nekked is broked"
Aww FUCK! He finally noticed that boys and girls aren't built the same. He is a boy. I am a girl. And we are different from one another in an intrinsic way.
This Utopian stage in our life is over now. He's not the same innocent baby who knows nothing other then what we show him. Now he's a little boy. A person capable of learning and coming to his own conclusions about himself and the world he lives in. So fast. So.Damn.Fast.
Soon he will be a man, and the next naked woman he sees should be rightfully lying beside him..hopefully with a ring on her finger.
Total Calories Burned Today: 154.546
Total Accumulative Calories Burned: 1238.640
Total Accumulative Miles Jogged: 16.066