Nap Time

Sunday, June 11, 2006

I wanted a nap, I needed a nap. I didn't think it was fair for me to go hide in bed and leave all the kids for daddy to watch. So I comprimised, I told Parker and Blake to go down stairs. They did, they even promised to be quiet . They didn't . I took Logan to bed with me.

Logan was not cuddly as a baby , he is not cuddly as a toddler. I can count on one had the number of times I have gotten to sit on a chair with his warm little boy body limp in my arms sleeping. He just doesnt do it. Logan can't sleep with someone. He needs to be in his room, alone. Even as a tiny tiny baby I could not rock him to sleep. I'd get fristrated that he wouldn't sleep and put him in his bed to cry, But as soon as I left the room he went quietly into dreamland.

One of my favorite mommy jobs is holding sleeping babies. I'd pay big money to get my six year old to sit and cuddle , much less sleep in my arms! But Logan, well, I'm used to him now, I don't even try to rock him to sleep. Even our cuddle song time has turned into a game with him!

So I took Logan to bed with me, knowing that at most I'd beable to close my eyes but he wouldn't sleep, so I wouldn't sleep. He brought his sucker and his shark to bed. He has been carring his shark for abpout two weeks now. In bed, during meals, while playing , even in the bath. Its plastic, it washes so we let him.

I put Logan on the bed and pointed to daddy's pillow. Get up I told him. he just sat there. I moved him so I could climb up. When he saw me laying down he tried to scramble off the bed. I asked him to lay down , but he didn't, so I pulled him down to me. I layed him on his side and tucked my arm around his warm little belly. He smelled like juice and wet diaper. He just laid there , took a bite of his sucker and started kicking his legs. I closed my eyes.

Not long passed when I realised his legs were still, and I looked up at him, he was trying so hard to stay awake. his eyes would drift so slowly shit, and then open super wide again. I never noticed how long and pale his eyelashes were before, he is always on the move. he fought sleep for a long time, and then with a raspy sigh, his eyes closed and stayed closed. Now I was fadced with a problem. My throat was burning, my nose stuffed, my eyes were watering with tiredness. but finally , without me trying even, I had Logan in my arms, his back to my chest, his little sticky hand holding on to my finger. How could I just go to sleep and miss this?

This time it was me fighting sleep, searching his face , re-learning him, it's been so long since I have gotten to do this. ! I felt his little Skull. His soft spot is long gone, I hadnt noticed, I marveled at how soft his short short hair is, and ran my finger over his cheek seeing the bits of lunch that hadn't been washed away. Finally I snaked my arm around him, grabbing him closer to me, snuggling my face ionto the back of his neck and he sighed and streached his leg as I put my hand on his fat little tummy again. Then I closed my eyes and slept.

When I woke up, he was gone, but I could still feel his little hand clenched on my finger and I smiled... maybe next weekend he will have a nap with mommy again!


Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

It's nice to win one once in a while :)

4:35 AM, June 12, 2006  
Anonymous Nohe 5 said...

I loved this post. It reminded me of my Nicholas. Although once I fell asleep on the couch while the kids were playing and they tied my shoes together. Your story is much sweeter.

7:18 AM, June 12, 2006  
Blogger Lori said...

How sweet,
I misss them days sometimes, now he is a little older (8) I can take a nap and wake up to peanutbutter everywhere LOL.

3:11 PM, June 12, 2006  
Blogger witness said...

There is nothing better than a cuddle from the little ones. I just wrote about the same thing today. Keep it up!

10:11 AM, June 14, 2006  

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