just cus they made me laff outloud
instead of in my head
1) A young woman who had been married for several years was
growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex.
She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual
relationship, and finally decided to purchase some
Crotchless underwear she had seen in a novelty shop.
One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous and
he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up,
and donned her crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She
then strolled between her husband and the television and
suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm.
"Want some of this?" she purred.
"Are you kidding?", he replied, "Look what it did to those panties!"
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man
and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for
a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a
single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been
given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breathand laughing.
The angel tells them,"Um, you have fifteen minutes left,"Would
you care to do it again?"
He asks her.... "Shall we?" ...She eagerly replies,
"Oh, yes, let's! ...But ....let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head."
... AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ????